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To say I'd rather give birth again than establish breastfeeding?

(129 Posts)
Constructionbook Thu 16-Mar-17 09:59:42

Just that really. Birth yes painful and hard work but it's over pretty quick. Breastfeeding is a slow kind of torture. What feels like endless nights trying to deep latch baby on to shredded nipples and the hormonal rollercoaster that comes with it. Why is it so hard?

isupposeitsverynice Thu 16-Mar-17 10:02:26

No I'm definitely with you. Especially my second birth, was a breeze, but establishing breastfeeding is a special kind of misery.

Bellerophon Thu 16-Mar-17 10:02:29

I completely sympathise with this, but I am also aware there is a whole cabal of folk who don't sympathise either

It's a tough process for some folk and whatever happens with feeding, your baby will grow up strong

💪🏽

Lugeeta Thu 16-Mar-17 10:03:28

It isn't always? Lots of people find it easy, I never got sore nipples or anything. It might be far easier with a different baby hopefully?!

I found bf good because it meant my babies never ever cried because a boob I their mouth solved everything!

LapinR0se Thu 16-Mar-17 10:05:15

It's soooo hard I completely agree!

limon Thu 16-Mar-17 10:05:20

You had a bad experience so yanbu. But actually it isn't that hard for everyone and it grinds my gears that it is so often portrayed as difficult and painfuk. Your choice though.

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 16-Mar-17 10:06:21

My birth was awful so id definitely rather establish breastfeeding again.

At least I felt safe when I started breastfeeding. sad

It was a lot harder than I expected though. Feeding every 5 minutes, the pain, the bleeding nipples, it was awful. I cried a lot a first. Then one day it just suddenly clicked in to place and it was great.

Winniethepooer Thu 16-Mar-17 10:07:01

I've 6 dc. Like each birth was different, each bf experience was different.

Some easier then others!

IamFriedSpam Thu 16-Mar-17 10:09:07

I know what you mean the first few weeks are tough. I was so grateful I'd stuck with it after the tough week or two at the beginning though - made my life so much easier.

StinginBelle13 Thu 16-Mar-17 10:11:22

Had nothing but problems with breastfeeding my first child despite my best efforts and everyone telling me he was latching on perfectly, it felt like someone trying to hack my nipples off with a spoon to the point that it tore so badly it is actually now scarred. Ended up having to combination feed anyway, as he wasn't putting weight on.

Exclusively breastfed my second child for a week until I decided I could no longer deal with mastitis, severely leaking boobs and cracked nips. Would happily give birth to triplets 10 times than ever breastfeed again.

MissClimpsonsTypingBureau Thu 16-Mar-17 10:12:10

I'm trying desperately to establish breastfeeding with my 2.5 week old. It's hideously painful and depressing and anxiety-inducing. It makes me cry multiple times a day. I recognise everyone's experience is different, but comments like limon's aren't particularly helpful. Nothing I saw before birth told me that bfing would be difficult- NHS materials all say it's easy and pain free.

MrsNuckyThompson Thu 16-Mar-17 10:21:18

It's so hard. Once you get there it is such a piece of piss but no idea why it has to be so awful to start with! Not surprised so many people just despair and give up.

SleepFreeZone Thu 16-Mar-17 10:22:46

I think it's on par with labour. Once you've cracked it though it's marvellous 👍

RockyBird Thu 16-Mar-17 10:24:47

At that stage I'd weep when my baby stirred after a nap because I knew I'd be feeding her soon. I think we cracked it around the 2 - 3 week stage.

My hypothetical 3rd baby would be bottle fed from day one.

TheElephantofSurprise Thu 16-Mar-17 10:24:50

Grandma here. It's not easy or pain-free - until it's fully established and then its such a piece of cake you wonder how it was ever a problem.

If you're at the new, in pain, will it ever work stage....

Change your attitude:
You're thinking of food, meals. No. Think 'breathing'. Your baby breathes to stay alive. Your baby takes the nipple to stay alive. Not 'feeding every few minutes' but being close to mother at all times, suckling at will. 24/7.
You're thinking 'there are two people here'. No. Only one. Your body and the extra bit it made, which is as much a part of the original body as is your arm or leg. You don't try to put your arm or leg down, or leave it in a cosy cot overnight or any such idea. It is part of you. So also the new extra bit, your baby. From now until s/he walks away.

Keep the pressure off - limitless access to the breast will take away a lot of the baby's urgency. Good positioning, changing positions, will ease the strain on your nipples. The less 'natural' something is, the less you want to use it - so ban 'nipple shields' and sprays, and go for clean, cool water to soothe sore nipples. In my day, we used ice (in a hanky) but people are iffy about that now.

Right, Elephant, off the thread. Grandmas are peripheral, they should always know when it's time to go.

LittleLionMansMummy Thu 16-Mar-17 10:33:02

I know a lot of people struggle so yanbu for the way you feel.

Ds took to it easily with only a few days of mild soreness. Dd struggled more with my big boobs (!) so it was closer to 2 weeks of moderate soreness. For me it was worth it, especially as she's now 4 months and has just started stroking me/ smiling up at me while feeding. It's loads more convenient than bottles too.

I had two good labours (although the first was very long) and also avoid trying to describe the 'pain' to others as, for me, I look back at them both with a fond nostalgia. The pain is positive and not worth worrying people about. I realise not everyone is as lucky though and others have very traumatic births.

Boofeckinghoo Thu 16-Mar-17 10:35:43

The first few weeks can be gruelling I agree, I certainly wouldn't have got through it without the superb support I got at clinic. Both kids adapted to it at different times but once you've got it down it is so worth it.

limon Thu 16-Mar-17 10:40:29

Great advice from elephant - well said!

minifingerz Thu 16-Mar-17 10:40:41

For me breastfeeding was hard once
easy twice.

And difficulty can also be in the eye of the beholder.

HazelBite Thu 16-Mar-17 10:42:01

You don't have to, you know, once you tell yourself you have other options it does not seem such a chore. If your nipples are shredded you should give yourself a break and let them recover.
I have four Dc's and I am now of "Granny age" and I would say don't guilt trip yourself if it really isn't your thing, you should be enjoying your baby. I breastfed my first, ebf Dc2 for 3 months then fed both breast milk and bottle. The youngest two were large twins and I mixed fed them.
Looking back the breastfeeding wasn't ever a chore because I didn't allow it to be, don't beat yourself up if you don't want to continue, if you do want to continue, calm down about it and try to enjoy it.

Winniethepooer Thu 16-Mar-17 10:42:57

Perfect advice elephant

Nzou1050 Thu 16-Mar-17 10:44:42

I totally get where you are coming from. The midwife also said this to us at antenatal class! I had a terrible birth & an easy birth (as they go) but found getting breastfeeding established torture. In fact the first time was so bad I didn't make it past time a month. Second time much easier & glad a persevered in the end (DD now 10 months & it's a breeze) but I'd definitely rather give birth again then go back to those early days.

MissClimpsonsTypingBureau Thu 16-Mar-17 10:45:19

Thanks Elephant - that's kind. Makes me feel worse, but I know you didn't mean it like that.

StinginBelle13 Thu 16-Mar-17 10:47:23

I exclusively breastfed for 3 weeks before having to combination feed and express for the following 6 months. It never got any easier or less painful even though he was latching on perfectly. Each experience is different for each person, and I'd hate for any mums to feel like a failure or feel down because they weren't successful with it. Breast is best for baby but it has to be the right decision for mum, too.

Matchstickbox Thu 16-Mar-17 10:50:55

I hate pregnancy and I hated labour.

I hated bf for 8 weeks and after 10 it was fine. For me.

20 m later bf now easy peasy, can't be bother to give it up

The Next pregnancy and labour, erch, thinking about it makes me want to cry.

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