To think I will never be employed again?

[Sunnysky2016]

I worked for over 14 years in leaning and development but have been off for 2 years as I am waiting for surgery and have also been diagnosed with a mental health problem.
I was good at my job and previous recommendations back this up, however I now feel like I will be stuck on benefits for the rest of my life.
I miss my job, the excitement, even the stress. Along with my salary and benefits.
But who in their right mind would employ me now? Just feel like I e leg my children down so much. I miss my life.

[thesandwich]

Please don't despair. Can you keep up with personal development stuff through cipd etc or futurelearn etc to keep up to date?
L&d will be more open than many other areas.

[missymayhemsmum]

Well its good that you miss your old life, because it means that you are ready for your next challenge. Presumably you had to leave your old job because of your health, but that doesn't mean you'll never work again. Are you well enough to try to find some part time work or maybe volunteering to keep your skills and confidence fresh and give you a recent reference when you are ready?

[Onlyonce]

Could you wait until after you recover from your operation to start something but make some enquiries now with local charities or organisations that you could offer to volunteer your skills to for a few hours a week? It would help build up your confidence perhaps? Them look at some kind of self employment that would fit with your situation? You must have so much to offer, local charities will be crying out for someone like you and it might help you find your feet again. See if there is something in your area that appeals in terms of where you would feel passionate about offering your skills

[Sunnysky2016]

Thanks for your replays and ideas. I hadn't bought about looking into charities as I've always worked in the private sector.
I am keeping up to date with learning and development and the subjects I taught.
I'm just afraid that when I'm well enough and surgery has gone well (fingers crossed as its at a 30% success rate) that I can get through to interview but once they find out i have bipolar they won't be interested.
I know legally I do not have to disclose this unless a medical is undertaken, however when my mood elevates I tend to over disclose. But saying that I don't care who knows, it's part of me- like it or lump it lol but there is so much stigma surrounding mental health I'm afraid of being judged on that rather than how well I can do a job.
I'm just so bored at home, it's been two years of waiting and cancellations on surgery and I really can't wait to get back into it.
I might start putting out the feelers to some organisations as you've mentioned- I guess I just needed someone to tell me this was ok and not a stupid idea.

[Onlyonce]

Have a look around and see what there is. local charities, youth organisations, hospice, historical groups. Maybe even an organisation that pulls together volunteers for projects in your area. I hope you find something that suits you

[thesandwich]

You have a lot of valuable experience and skills to offer
Good luck.

[Schwifty]

I second the pps, and recommend do-it.org as well. Good luck!