AIBU or is neighbour?

[Clareel]

Me and OH live in a flat, 5 other flats in the building. At the back there is a small car park (enough for 6 cars) no marked parking spaces or designated parking per flat. We don't have a car and there are usually only 4 cars parked outside so probably one other flat doesn't have one either.

My friend arrived yesterday to stay for a few days, parked her car in a free spot outside. Her car is small and was right in the corner, not obstructing anything or blocking anyone in. 5 minutes later neighbour (who I know only to say hello to) is banging on my door, asking who's car it is and stating that it must be moved because only the people who own their flats have the right to park there. I apologised and said I wasn't aware of this rule, that it wasn't our car but our friends who was visiting but as we don't have a car assumed it would be okay to park. She then said that as she owned her flat and we just rented (not sure how she knows this but it is true) she should have first choice of parking and we needed to move the car so she can park in the corner as that is where she prefers. Fair enough she does live here and friend doesn't so I apologise again and say that we will move the car.

Neighbour then goes off on a rant about 'other issues' since we moved in (we have lived here 6 months). Firstly that it is only her and one other neighbour that take the bins out to the front of the flat on collection day - I admit we have not been doing this as the gate is locked with a key code which we don't know but if she gives me the code I am happy to do it in the future. So she has given me the code, fine I am happy to take the bins out now. She then states we are also not allowed to dry laundry on our balcony we have had ongoing problems with mould and damp in the flat and the letting agent have advised that we only dry laundry on the balcony in order to prevent this from getting worse.

I get she has a point about the bins, but the parking and the laundry is fine right? I called the letting agent and they said they will contact the landlord to clarify but they can't see any reason why we shouldn't be able to park there especially as we don't actually own a car ourselves. When I mentioned about drying laundry on the balcony the letting agent actually laughed and said of course we can use our balcony as we please.

AIBU

[MrsTwix]

She is batshit. Ignore her.

[PupPupBoogie]

In our old flat there was actually a term in the agreement thato washing on the balcony was banned so it could be true?

[ZaZathecat]

YANBU. It's not up to her to police how you use your entitlement to a parking space. For all she knew you could have hired or borrowed a car. It is none of her business. As for the other 'issues' you've sorted the bin one, and your hands are tied re the washing so she'll just have to lump it.

[TisMeTheLadFromTheBar]

The parking space and other arrangemrnts about bins etc. depends on you written lease. She is probably guessing about you renting because the flat was not up for sale/saw the rental ad somewhere/Landlord told her. As a paying tenant you have rights. If the neighbours continue to be confrontational, speak with your landlord

[milliemolliemou]

If you find you aren't allowed to hang washing on the balcony get your landlord to provide a dehumidifier.

[ZaZathecat]

PupPup, OP's been told by the letting agency ONLY to dry washing on the balcony.

[LuxCoDespondent]

Impossible to tell if you are being unreasonable without knowing the terms and conditions of your tenancy agreement.

If the agreement specifically states the parking is for resident's cars only, then your friend can't park there. Although the woman is unreasonable for saying that she wants a particular space because she owns and you rent - again, unless the tenancy agreements and leasehold/freehold states that owners have priority (which seems highly unlikely).

The same applies to hanging washing outside. Lots of properties have Ts and Cs which prohibit the hanging of washing outside (usually in the leasehold paperwork), whereas many tenancy agreements prohibit the hanging of washing inside (because of damp and suchlike). Where you are meant to dry your washing is anyone's guess.

You don't sound like you are being an unreasonable neighbour (and your neighbour certainly sounds more like the unreasonable one!) but you would need to view your tenancy agreement and the leasehold contract on the flat to confirm the legal position of parking rights and where you can hang your washing.

If the tenancy agreement contradicts what the leasehold contract says then that is the landlord's issue more than it is yours.

[SapphireStrange]

She's batshit and a busybody. I wouldn't have apologised for anything. As others have said, it could have been a car you'd just bought/borrowed/hired.

What did you say to the hanging out the laundry thing?

If she approaches you again tell her to contact the council if she has any concerns. And to get a life.

[Clareel]

Thanks for the replies, sorry forgot to mention that I have checked the tenancy agreement and the only reference to park if is that we must not park commercial vehicles, boats or caravans in the car park! Regarding the laundry it says that laundry must not be hung off anything not intended to hang laundry off. I am hanging it on a clothes maiden which I put on the balcony so I think that should be okay? The letting agent seemed to think we where doing absolutely nothing wrong when I spoke to her yesterday but this woman was so irate when she knocked on the door and I have a feeling she might knock again today when she sees that the car is still there (albeit not in 'her' space).

[SapphireStrange]

I have a feeling she might knock again today

Ignore her.

[ComeOnSpring]

I would try and resolve it before you start ignoring/arguing more with each other and it deteriorates.

Give her and other neighbour some flowers and a thank you card and say thanks for taking bins, now I have the code I will make sure I share taking them out.

She can either carry on being batshit or you've nipped something nasty in the bud and have a less confrontational life going forward..

[Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse]

Sounds like she's let a few little things all build up and she's had a little explosion at you. As per pp I've also lived in a flat (five flats in large Victorian conversion) that had small balcony areas to the side - we were definitely not supposed to dry laundry, stores bikes etc there (in the lease) but it did lead to the fire escape steps so maybe that was why. It was also specifically stated that parking was only for owners/tenants and all visitors were expected to park in the street, even if there was space, so both of those things could be true tbh. As for the bins, why didn't you ask someone for the code before? You knew the bins needed putting out and you knew you weren't doing it so i.e. someone else had to.

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

Your response to "you don't own your flat, you just rent" should have been "yes, my guest is using the space my LL owns."

To say that a tenant has less entitlement than an owner-occupier is crazy. If all six flats were rented out, should nobody use the car park?

Hopefully your EA will be able to clarify the situation for you today. I can understand her frustration about the bins, and possibly the laundry if there actually is a clause banning it (I have heard of this being an actual thing in some cases too) - but definitely not the parking. So what if she prefers the corner space?

[ThomasandFriends]

I'd be tempted to buy an old rust-bucket of a car, SORN it and park it permanently in the car park just to piss her off!

[MrDacresEUSubsidy]

Your response to "you don't own your flat, you just rent" should have been "yes, my guest is using the space my LL owns."

^^ This, plus:

And I'm drying clothes on my balcony, on an airer, which is permissible. Mind your own business and please stop banging on my door - because if you don't I'll be contacting the landlord and advising them that you are harassing me.

[harderandharder2breathe]

She's batshit

[SapphireStrange]

Isitjust, the OP has given info on the balcony and parking that negates your suggestions, if you'd read them properly.

[scattercushion]

I like ComeonSpring's suggestion - love bomb her. Life's too short to fall out with neighbours.

[The80sweregreat]

oh dear, thats not good. its awful when people just make problems rather than explain what they want ( ie, telling you about the key!)
the car one is also out of order - she sounds a real busy body and its a shame as it doesnt have to be like that!

[previously1474etc]

While your lease might not mention the hanging out of laundry the deeds might have a clause.

In some cases the local authority may not permit it but I haven't seen that mentioned in a while.

You would need to ask the landlord/freeholder and check the deeds to be sure.

[napmeistergeneral]

There is no moral hierarchy of owner and renter that allows her by default to tell you what to do. If she turns up again smile sweetly and say you're checking with your landlord.

[Raffles1981]

You have checked with your letting agent, so if she knocks again, tell her you have checked with the agent, you are doing nothing wrong and if she has an issue then she can call them herself. No point getting into a discussion with someone who clearly loves a good fight.

[The80sweregreat]

We had this with parking once , the houses were in a cul de sac with grass in the middle - the parking was at the end, a free for all ( no restrictions) until the neighbour opposite started moaning it was 'his place' - we ended up moving in the end, the parking became a nightmare. your neighbour is being unreasonable, but it does bring out the worst in folk sad to say.

[ShuttyTown]

I would not be giving the mad bat any flowers either! Tell her to sod off next time she tries to tell you where to hand your washing or park a car.

[ShuttyTown]

Hang*