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To think 18 yo should expect me to pamper them when they're ill?

(60 Posts)
chaddy452 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:33:08

"Mum, I want a hot water bottle/a cold drink/some medicine/socks......" angry 18!!


chaddy452 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:33:56


Toadinthehole Tue 14-Mar-17 23:35:50

I do that for DW and she's 42.

LovingLola Tue 14-Mar-17 23:36:10

I pamper mine when they are unwell. Why wouldn't you? Equally I pamper my husband if he was sick. And guess what! If I am sick my children and husband make sure that I have what I need...

JCo24 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:36:18

I wouldn't call it pampering. They just want looking after because they feel like shit.
I do it with my partner (and my mum if I'm at hers) and I'm 25!!

I get that you feel like a slave but you can just say no or you know where it is. No need to get angry.

Topseyt Tue 14-Mar-17 23:45:42

Mine usually get all of that themselves. Even my 14 year old.

I will occasionally though, especially if they are really rough.

Doyouwantabrew Tue 14-Mar-17 23:48:18

If I am ill my 18 year old pampers me!

That's what love is

BrutusMcDogface Tue 14-Mar-17 23:52:27

Poor thing! Of course you should look after them when they're ill!

Doyouwantabrew Tue 14-Mar-17 23:53:00

And who pampers you when you are ill? Hopefully your dh etc

Flyinggeese Tue 14-Mar-17 23:54:35

Oh I hope my son still needs me for this stuff when he's 18!

CheeseandGherkins Tue 14-Mar-17 23:54:40

I wouldn't call getting someone that you love a hot water bottle/medicine etc pampering, especially when they're ill, and especially when it's your own child!

More than happy to do that for them and they also make me a tea, bring me a water if I'm under the weather.

BrutusMcDogface Tue 14-Mar-17 23:54:58

I had glandular fever at that age and reverted back to a little child...I had cups of tea/water/snacks etc brought to me. My mum got me special packets of sweets etc and checked up on me often. I'm certain I would do the same for my children or my partner.

steff13 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:54:59

My 18 year old had a stomach virus last week. I checked his temperature and brought him ginger ale and Gatorade and cleaned up after him. I'm still his mother, even if he's an adult.

Flyinggeese Tue 14-Mar-17 23:55:15

Meant to say agree with PPs, hope you get looked after too OP when you're not well.

Orangebird69 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:57:06

My DM would come round my house and 'pamper' me when I'm ill and I'm 41...

LollyLarkin Tue 14-Mar-17 23:57:18

I'm 32 and living on the other side of the world from my mum. I'm in bed sick and I would give anything for my mum to bring me nice cups of tea and look after me!

TheWorldAccordingToToads Tue 14-Mar-17 23:58:06


I was ill yesterday and I told my mum to come over to take care of me grin*

I got the impression my mum also enjoyed looking after me - bringing me soup and lucozade, refilling my hot water bottle...

*Not really. I text her to ask her if she would feed my pets as I could barely lift my head off the pillow and even texting her drained what little energy I had. She then decided to stay and take care of me .It's a mum's job grin

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder Tue 14-Mar-17 23:58:59

That's not really pampering, that's just taking care of a sick family member. I would get drinks/food/medicine for my DC and DH if they were poorly. If I were poorly then DH would do it for me.

MissJSays Tue 14-Mar-17 23:59:05

I still love being looked after by my mum when I'm ill, she fusses over me so much and I wouldn't have it any other way. Don't be angry about it! They are your children, they just want looking after when they are poorly.

SecretWitch Wed 15-Mar-17 00:04:29

YABU. You don't stop being a mother when your child turns 18. I'm 51, my mum still arrives with soup and flowers when I have an illness. She has been known to remake the bed and tidy up a bit before she leaves.

OliviaStabler Wed 15-Mar-17 00:12:42

YABU. There is nothing like some love and care when you are feeling awful.

TheWorldAccordingToToads Wed 15-Mar-17 00:16:30

Sorry I misunderstood what the OP was saying. I thought she wanted the 18 year old to be asking to be pampered but they weren't blush

So YABVU OP. Even grown ups need taking care of sometimes.

Joffmognum Wed 15-Mar-17 00:19:09

When I had an infected episiotomy (lol tmi) and was struggling with my newborn, my mum did all my cooking and cleaning for about two weeks! (It should have been my partner, but we were having some issues and I was effectively a single mum for that point in time.)

Pallisers Wed 15-Mar-17 00:22:22

When I had my first baby, my mum and dad pampered me as did my MIL (still remember her bringing me poached eggs on toast and lovely coffee in the morning)

I love pampering my older kids. I suppose I wouldn't be so happy if they were demanding I went up and down the stairs just because they had a cold but they don't do that - they lie in bed and I bring them nice things and they smile and say "you're the best mum".

They do it for me too.

Italiangreyhound Wed 15-Mar-17 00:22:52

I'd pamper any loved one when they were ill. Whatever their age. YABU. But actually pamper is not about taking care of a sick friend or relative. Pamper is totally different.

"Pamper - indulge with every attention, comfort, and kindness; spoil."

Not sure medicine comes under the title of pampering!

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