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To tell my boss not everyone wants to be like her?

(13 Posts)
Lulabell1979 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:01:53

Apologies if wrong area to post am new to this but only really read the AIBUs!

So my boss (who is a good friend we have worked together some time and she totally has my back) has asked for 360 feedback on herself. Her choice, this is not a thing at our company.

I have lots of positives to give to her which is fine. My question is AIBU to tell her not everyone wants to be like her? (She is incredibly driven and ambitious) I think she is very blinkered in assuming everyone wants to get promoted, to be a director, get more responsibility, be seen by the right people, etc etc when quite honestly most of our team are quite happy doing what they are doing. I've been there done that and took a step back but am feeling under pressure to conform (even though she knows this and I now only work part time but I still get pressure to go for promotions or be seen by the right people when quite frankly I couldn't give a monkeys I'm just happy doing what I'm doing. Any advice on how to constructively say I am not as power crazed as you?

semanwen Tue 14-Mar-17 23:03:34

Any advice on how to constructively say I am not as power crazed as you?

Why would you need to say anything about yourself. The 360 feedback is about her not you?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Tue 14-Mar-17 23:04:42

The edited version might be better....as in 'you are more ambitious than other people'. Rather than 'You are power-crazed corporate clone' smile

chickenlickencluck Tue 14-Mar-17 23:06:24

I'd be cautious! Totally possible you tell her some truths and she takes the hump. Is she really your friend? Or more a boss you are friendly with?

peachgreen Tue 14-Mar-17 23:07:57

I think it's more about saying that it would be beneficial to the people she manages if she took more time to listen to and understand their career ambitions and provide guidance where required, but not to make assumptions about what those ambitions are.

Spam88 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:08:22

Maybe, as an area for development, something along the lines of recognising that not everyone has the same career goals and motivations?

Lulabell1979 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:10:43

We are genuinely friends, met through work but a long history. She loves feedback and is always keen to learn but I don't know how to get this point across because she genuinely sees the world a certain way where everyone should want to maximise themselves and get promoted etc and the notion that sometimes people don't want that is quite alien to her.

To the poster who says it's not feedback on me yeah I get that but it's the way it makes me feel that is the issue, it does put an enormous amount of pressure on me when I purposely took a step back. I am not the only one to feel like this.

Lulabell1979 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:12:21

@Spam88 like it!

DJBaggySmalls Tue 14-Mar-17 23:13:16

There are 2 kinds of worker; niche workers and career workers. You are a niche worker from the sounds of it; we like to fill our position, and do it well.
Your boss is a career worker and wants to climb the ladder of success.

If that helps, find some way to crowbar it in smile

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard Tue 14-Mar-17 23:14:54

Rein it in. Asking for 100% honest feedback and hearing it are two totally different things.

Gently remind her that there are all kinds of people in the workplace and identifiying the roles they're comfortable with and their best performance is useful. The workplace can only take so many chiefs and the regular workforce plays a significant part too. Tell her that sometimes people have personal reasons for taking a more mundane role, but that allows others to step it up.

Botanicbaby Tue 14-Mar-17 23:14:59

YANBU to give honest feedback about a person if asked.

YABU to make it about yourself & how you feel.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 14-Mar-17 23:17:38

I think you should avoid making any sweeping statements about her that are positioned as facts. You don't know she thinks everyone should be like her, you just think she does because of ABC.

So a better way is "when you do ABC it can give the impression you think we all feel X... but we don't. For example, I am very happy to do Y and I would like to feel you value that contribution more than I feel you do now.".

It's all about perception and impact; when you do X I feel/think Y.

blueshoes Tue 14-Mar-17 23:59:52

Don't say anything. What exactly are you hoping to achieve saying that to your boss apart from career suicide from point scoring-?

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