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To be upset I have no family

(14 Posts)
OhisHOME Tue 14-Mar-17 22:47:14

I'm a single parent to one daughter, nc with toxic father & sister. It just gets to me. I have friends with close siblings & aunts & uncles for their kids and my daughter has no family. I have a few aunts, uncles & cousins but they keep themselves to their close family groups. I know it's not always what it seems but I seem surrounded by people with families and we have none, maybe I'd have been better keeping my dad & sister in my life so my daughter wasn't so on her own with just me.

AcornToOak Tue 14-Mar-17 23:06:15

I have no family either, my mum, dad and sister have all died, i have no aunts uncles or cousins, i do have a partner but he is nc with the 2 remaining members of his family

My dc have picked their family from close friends they have a granny and aunts, uncles and cousins, they are people that are special to them

Family doesn't mean blood relations to us, its the people we couldn't imagine our lives without, as much as my little clan dearly miss what we had with the people that are gone we make the most of the people we still have

witchofzog Tue 14-Mar-17 23:12:39

Try the Stand Alone organisation. They are amazing 😊

itfcbabe Wed 15-Mar-17 01:03:06

I have my husband,6 kids,his mum and her husband. That's it.
My parents are both dead,nc with toxic sister for 7 years,distant aunts,uncles,cousins who I haven't seen in over 10 years.

Losing my dad at 20 and my mum at 23 is one of the reasons I had a large family,so we can build a new family and when I hopefully get Grandchildren and become an amazing mil we can all have a close bond.

user1489522078 Wed 15-Mar-17 03:03:39

I understand OP. Me neither, and as my wonderful, now adult, children are adopted I find it very hard to deal with not being genetically connected to anybody anymore. I always feel very alone. Always. And I admit I feel envious of those with siblings/cousins/nieces/nephews.

It is probably one of the reasons I am now a foster carer, meaning the house is always full..

Falafelings Wed 15-Mar-17 03:27:55

Family can be awful. You can't choose them! But you can choose your friends. Friends can be as good as family. Sometimes better

DaniBubbles Wed 15-Mar-17 03:46:47

I can relate, OP. I've been NC with my toxic parents for almost 2 years and found out last year that I wasn't even biologically related to them! They've made zero effort with me since and my aunts/uncles/cousins have also shut me out.

I agree with PP that surrounding yourself with friends is the best solution for this. It's definitely not worth keeping toxic people in your life but I do understand the loneliness that comes with making this decision.

OhisHOME Wed 15-Mar-17 18:47:02

Thanks we do have friends but they have their own extended families so we are very much friends to them not extended family. I need to find some loner friends not ones with big happy families. I'd desperately love another baby & a huge part of it is not wanting my daughter to have no one as an adult.

ImogenWalford Wed 16-May-18 14:55:34

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oksono Wed 16-May-18 15:27:09

Please don’t respond to I.Walford has been reported

Mrsdarcyiwish10 Wed 16-May-18 15:45:37

I understand this, both my parents are long deceased and NC with toxic sister, all i have is my dc and my husband it can be so lonely sometimes.

Mother40 Thu 17-May-18 13:45:56

I feel like this too. I am not single, but apart fro m our children, the majority of our relatives are old, so in 10_years we will have basically no extended family. It doesn't help.that my sister died when she was a child, and my husband does not speak to his fami ly. I always regret we won't have family get togethers etc and how the children don't have many people to dote after them.I'm

Contrabassista Thu 17-May-18 13:53:49

Completely understand this. Mum died when I was 12. Dad is an abusive psychopath that I haven’t seen for almost 20 years. Brother is an addict who I had to cut contact with as it put my child at risk so yes it’s hard when you see all this apparent happy family stuff. But.... I won’t have elderly parents to care for. I don’t have nightmare family weddings to go to and the stuff that fills the pages of MN. We are a very small, very contented family of two. There’s a lot to be said for it.

VladmirsPoutine Thu 17-May-18 14:03:37

No. You wouldn't have been better off keeping toxic people in the fold to maintain some semblance of 'family'.

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