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To be irritated by comments about small baby

(110 Posts)
Dontfencemein Tue 14-Mar-17 20:21:36

An acquaintance who has 3 children herself came up to me and DS (13 months) and said something along the lines of
"Wow. He is so tiny. He still looks like a baby. Usually when you don't see a baby for a while you think they'll have grown but your DS always looks like a baby".

AIBU to be quite irritated by this and wonder why she bloody said it?

DS has always been on the small side and lurked around the 9th centile. He's had a run of ill health in the last six weeks and has been in hospital for a few nights. Hopefully we are over it now but even without recent events, I think it's off to comment like that on a child's size.

Or am I being over sensitive?

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Tue 14-Mar-17 20:25:06

Sorry but you need to toughen up. flowers
Every baby is too big /too small /too fat /too skinny /too bald /too hairy /too fair skinned /too dark skinned /too curly /too ginger (said to me about dd!) too loud /too sleepy etc etc. . Every baby fits into a category for some fucker to comment on!! Learn to smile and move on. .
I bet your dc is just perfect to you and that's all that counts isn't it?

Jazzywazzydodah Tue 14-Mar-17 20:25:08

Because she is a knob.

My baby has a raised birthmark on her head. Looks like a little raspberry, the fucking comments I get of strangers asking if I'm going to 'get it cut off' ...ect' gets me stabby angry

Just start saying 'well, y'know - all good things come in small packages and all that..'

Screwinthetuna Tue 14-Mar-17 20:25:58

Don't blame you, it's insensitive. I always hated the 'wow, your bump is so tiny' comments during pregnancy too. What are you trying to say, that there is something wrong?
Should have just said, 'wow yea, your kid is really massive for their age, aren't they' wink wink

venys Tue 14-Mar-17 20:28:55

I think over sensitive. People like to say something , anything about baby to start a conversation. My baby was on the small side for a long time and we had the same comments but I wasn't worried as babies come in all shapes and sizes. Strangely I also get comments on how tall she is. We also get lots of comments over who the baby looks like. I just go along with whatever they think. It's all just perception.

PetalMettle Tue 14-Mar-17 20:29:59

I have this all the time, my son'S about the same size as your's.
i think it's much harder than any other comment as you've generally been through hell with Hvs about their weight.
On the plus side when he starts walking and talking everyone will think he's super advanced

Eminado Tue 14-Mar-17 20:30:08

flowers

Sorry but thicker skin needed. Saying this as the mother of a big fat baby grin.

I have heard it ALL - overfeeding (how?), she will never crawl (wtf?), must be my [country of birth] milk hmm

I have an older DD who was 96-98th per centile height and weight for 2.5 years and is now one of the smallest in her pre school class 🙄.

Ignore, ignore, ignore!

PetalMettle Tue 14-Mar-17 20:31:09

It's different with a bigger child. You basically get accused of failing them if they're slighter. It makes you very sensitive

Brainwashed Tue 14-Mar-17 20:32:33

Just ignore and try not to worry too much
My DS was on the 9th centile for ages...today he's 20 and 6ft.

Miniwookie Tue 14-Mar-17 20:34:07

I can see how it's a bit irritating, but the pp is right - you probably need to get used to unwanted comments about your dc unfortunately.

Screwinthetuna no They don't think there's something wrong. They're probably jealous! I always dreamed of being one of those chic pregnant women who looked like they'd just popped a football up their jumper, but no - turned into a heffalump everytime. In fact a stranger asked me if I was expecting twins when I was pregnant with DS. Now that is fucking rude!

Eminado Tue 14-Mar-17 20:36:00

petal it's different but its still horrible. Do you think it's nice to be told you are overfeeding/going to cause obesity/make your child immobile ??

I think you need to let the comments pass. All babies are too big/small/hairy/bald/skinny/chubby. The same that all women when pregnant are carrying big/small.

Dd was weanie when she was a new born. People struggle to believe that she is only a yr old now (even though she is in 12-18months clothes with room to grow hmm) as she is massive now. Both height and chunky!

Heinousfauxpas Tue 14-Mar-17 20:39:06

YANBU. It's insensitive and unnecessary . I was 4lbs when I was born and was always tiny. Apparently when my DM's MIL first saw me she said "You'll never rear that one."!!!! Nice shock! I do have a congenital kidney disorder that is probably responsible for my smallness.

When I started school at 5 my Mum had to make my uniform as there weren't any small enough in the shops. Throughout my childhood my size and height were commented on by complete strangers and DM said she felt judged and hurt. I'm only 5' as an adult and STILL get remarks on how bloody small I am. It's just unecessary. Try not to let the ignorance get you down.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero Tue 14-Mar-17 20:41:25

YANBU, people have no right to comment!
I get constant "oh isn't she huge", "I thought she was MUCH older" etc, comments. DD was 92nd centile during pregnancy, born on 90th, dropped to 50 something for weight but stayed around 90 on everything else and is finally back on 91st for height weight and head circumference.
People think you having a baby or being pregnant gives them the right to judge and make comments as often as they like. Really bugs me!

JonesyAndTheSalad Tue 14-Mar-17 20:46:38

She was insensitive. People dont want to hear anything which could be taken as negative about their children and espcially not babies!

Dontfencemein Tue 14-Mar-17 22:48:49

You are right. I know that from the moment a pregnancy is known about, people feel entitled to offer totally unsolicited comments about the baby and the patenting it receives. I'd got used used to it with PFB DS1 and think I was just caught off guard this time. Thank you.

Ohyesiam Tue 14-Mar-17 22:50:40

Some people open their mouths and a bucket load of shite just falls out without them noticing.
Just note quietly to yourself that they are crass, and obviously a bit ignorant, as you walk of to spend your time with better company.

Sorry your ds has been poorlyflowers

harderandharder2breathe Tue 14-Mar-17 22:50:52

"Oh good I was starting to wonder if he looked like a teapot, what a relief that my baby looks like *a baby*"

AtSea1979 Tue 14-Mar-17 22:53:46

You are being over sensitive she was just making small talk. Perhaps she isn't good at socialising or lonely.

ollieplimsoles Tue 14-Mar-17 22:54:55

Yanbu op, my DD was just under 5lbs when she was born at 10 days passed her due date. My bump also measured 4 weeks behind and i had regular growth scans. Shes very short, on the lowest centile for height, I get lots of mums coming up to me at baby groups assuming she was 'prem' and asking by how much. It makes me feel awful and they are always taken aback when I tell them she was actually overdue- makes me think I did something to stunt her growth..

CocoLoco87 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:01:08

My PFB has always been called 'dinky'. Gives me the rage. It's not the comment as much as the intention behind it. As though he is sub-standard / malnourished / backwards for being slim and and shorter than some of his peers. He's well over 2yo and even yesterday a stranger in a shop said he was cute and dinky. Gaaaahhh!

I understand how annoying it can be wine cake

Monkeymarbles Wed 15-Mar-17 09:44:34

Mines around the 2nd weight (wears 9-12 months). Truly dinky. But now he's 2 I get more panic on other mums faces as they think my 12 month old is talking and walking!
Saved me a fortune as he's been wearing some clothes for a year now.

keeponkeeponkeepon Wed 15-Mar-17 09:53:41

The midwives in the breast feeding group when I was so desperate to get BF started and really wanting to not FF kept calling my baby "Porker". I was really neurotic about FF which I ended up doing as so much had been said about ff babies being over weight. Everyone said how fat my babies were. Then they became chunky toddlers and slim boys.

My point is people talk bollocks. They say stuff they don't realise is upsetting. Ignore ignore but if a family member keeps doing it, politely but firmly tell them to stop.

namechange20050 Wed 15-Mar-17 09:55:20

You're being over sensitive & people are just making small talk.

keeponkeeponkeepon Wed 15-Mar-17 09:55:30

And have thesecakewineflowers

People talk shit. Just remember that. Maybe say you got one of those designer small teacup babies as you only have a small house.
Wind people up!

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