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To not open the door if I'm not expecting anyone?

(66 Posts)
PageNowFoundFileUnderSpartacus Tue 14-Mar-17 12:50:25

My friend and I were chatting yesterday and the subject turned to chuggers - she had had a bad experience with a rude one in town yesterday morning. While talking about the doorstepping ones I said something like "they don't really bother me, I only open the door if I'm expecting a visitor or a delivery". She seemed to think this was really odd and couldn't imagine not answering the doorbell.

I'm an introvert and a bit of a hermit once I'm in the house each evening. I don't have family nearby and the local friends I have wouldn't just drop in, so I don't feel as though I'm potentially missing out on a spontaneous pleasant visit. Anyone else feel the same or is my friend right and im an oddball who is BU?

(For the avoidance of doubt - this is semi-lighthearted; I didn't lie awake last night mulling over it but I thought it might be interesting to see if the world is divided into door openers and doorbell ignorers.)

Euripidesralph Tue 14-Mar-17 12:54:19

I'm absolutely with you on this, unless it's a prebooked appt or I'm specifically expecting a parcell I don't open the door

I had an odd conversation with a friend about her mother in law issues and I asked why she answered the door when they turned up enexpectedly and she genuinely hadn't seemed to realise it was an option not to

Forget my mil (who would possibly fear for her wellbeing if she turned up announced partly because she doesn't have my addrrss) but my own mother would fully expect to be carTed to the doctors for a full checkup because clearly she would have lost her mind if she randomly turnew up gringrin

wishcarry Tue 14-Mar-17 12:57:50

I get LOADS of charity workers and JW's doing their rounds here.if I get a knock at the door and I'm not expecting anybody I normally have a discreet peek out of the window to see who it is.

HecateAntaia Tue 14-Mar-17 13:00:11

its been hotly debated on here many a time.
for some reason some people get hilariously cross about other people choosing to not answer the door πŸ˜‚

i dont answer the door (or the phone) if i dont want to.

in order to get to my door, someone has to walk down my path in full view on my window, walk the length of my window to get to my front door.
so i have a good idea who it is .
got a clipboard? nope. half a dozen of you going door to door? nope. carrying a big bag of dusters and shit? hell no.

nobody is under any obligation to answer their door.

DJBaggySmalls Tue 14-Mar-17 13:00:57

YANBU, I have a visible disability and if I answer they still try to keep me chatting on the doorstep, even in in winter angry

MapMyMum Tue 14-Mar-17 13:03:20

YANBU Im the same

Clankboing Tue 14-Mar-17 13:08:46

I am going to begin to ignore unexpected calls a bit more though I might peep first. I remember when my child was seriously ill - and I do mean seriously, a long term thing. We had a string of double glazing salesmen, roofers. It drove me nuts.

PageNowFoundFileUnderSpartacus Tue 14-Mar-17 13:47:55

I didn't realise it was already a MN hot topic Hecate. But the crucial question - is it more or less divisive than loo brushes?

streetface Tue 14-Mar-17 13:51:34

I have been harassed, sexually assaulted, and verbally abused too many times by random strange men in the street as a young woman to ever allow one the opportunity to do it on my own doorstep. I've lost trust in strange men so I never answer my door unless I'm expecting someone or my husband is in. Then he answers it for me anyway. My friends and family always let me know when they are coming. I won't lose any sleep over missing out on charity chuggers, religious groups or sales people.

HecateAntaia Tue 14-Mar-17 13:53:11

oh yes. it's handbags at dawn πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ very funny.
i hope it didnt sound like a snippy done this before type comment. 😁 i love the sort of thread where people get angry about other people's choices on things that dont matter.

im headed straight downstairs. light the flaming pit in preparation. 😁

HecateAntaia Tue 14-Mar-17 13:54:35

again. not you πŸ˜‚ i mean Angry People Being Angry.

teenagetantrums Tue 14-Mar-17 13:54:36

I live in flats and never answer my intercom unless I'm expecting someone. Everyone l want to see has my phone number and can call if they outside.

nemno Tue 14-Mar-17 13:55:45

I was able to have a fantastic experience last year that I wouldn't have if I hadn't answered the door to a stranger. And I would want to help if someone had an accident or some sort of emergency. But if I can see that it is an unwelcome type of visitor then I think it is fine not to answer.

Reow Tue 14-Mar-17 13:56:25

I HATE unannounced visits and this old mentality of "popping in". I think it's rude and presumptuous to thinkit is ok to intrude on someone else's free time, unless they have specifically invited you to drop in whenever.

I'm quite an anxious introvert and it seriously freaks me out when I get an unexpected knock.

I always check the window to see who it is. And if it's a chugger or someone flogging someone I will gladly shut the door in their face without a word. Sorry if people think that is rude, but I think it's rude to turn up on someone's property to try and get money out of them.

wigglesrock Tue 14-Mar-17 13:58:48

I've opened my door twice in the past few days without knowing who it was - first time it was the man across the street (we don't have driveways/ paths) telling me I'd left the car lights on. Glad I answered that knock & the second time it was a workman telling me the electric might be knocked off for 10 mins if I wanted to boil the kettle. I get chuggers/sales calls the odd time too but I've no compunction telling to go away & irritate somebody else. And sometimes it might even be my mum who calls in on her way back from the shops shock

Cosmicglitterpug Tue 14-Mar-17 13:59:53

YANBU. If you're not expecting it and don't want to.

I've noticed people getting very annoyed about this on MN. Along with people pushing older toddlers in pushchairs, using reins and of course, loo brushes.

Scribblegirl Tue 14-Mar-17 14:01:03

Yanbu. Our house is in London, but it's hard to find. After six months of frustrated supermarket delivery guys I put a sign up directing people down the footpath to ours... I so wish I hadn't! In the month since I've done it I've had 3 door to door charity types and they have all, without exception, rung the bell midway through me cooking dinner. Have decided to ignore now wink

(That said we do have a sneaky little window so I peek out to confirm it's not a random friend calling before I ignore)

Renaissance2017 Tue 14-Mar-17 14:09:15

I'm sorry Reow but this made me laugh someone flogging someone I will gladly shut the door in their face. I imagine I would shut the door on a dominatrix whipping the life out their slave!

Reow Tue 14-Mar-17 14:24:52

Renaissance2017 grin

Yeah, I can picture it too now.

NavyandWhite Tue 14-Mar-17 14:28:38

We had chuggers here on Friday evening at 7pm. DH was just about to go out and they caught him. He told them that we give to a charity each month and the cheeky sods asked who to and how much! Caught DH out as he hasn't a clue as I set it up.

I am very hot and miss about answering the door at the best of times but definitely don't bother if I see someone with a clipboard.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Tue 14-Mar-17 14:30:26

Someone flogging someone ahaha the mind boggles grin

My general rule of thumb is don't answer the door if they have a clipboard or a holdall full of dusters and sponges.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Tue 14-Mar-17 14:31:31

I am very hot blowing your own trumpet there, Navy !

glitterglitters Tue 14-Mar-17 14:33:53

I don't answer the door most of the time. We have a sign up but one or two stupid glazing agents usually knocks per month. Best thing to say to a chugger is you don't have a bank account or just pretend to talk a different language to them. I used to door to door chug at uni. πŸ™Š

ageingrunner Tue 14-Mar-17 14:38:07

Someone knocked the other day. I knew it was some kind of salesman because I heard him knocking at my neighbours first. I looked out of the spy hole just in case it was someone I knew who'd got the wrong house. I stared at him, he stared at the spy hole. He knew I was there because he would have seen the door curtain move. I didn't open the door and he moved on. No one's time was wasted smile

MaudLyn Tue 14-Mar-17 14:45:36

I never answer the door either, unless I know who it is, or am expecting a parcel.

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