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To just want to bugger off for a few days?

(3 Posts)
Wando1986 Tue 14-Mar-17 10:28:48

I've been trying to get DH to help me reorganise and redecorate parts of our flat for months. Everything is relying on one thing to be done to able to do the next. Eg - a piece of skirting needs replacing before the new laminate can go down. (My hands arent working properly because of carpal tunnel so it's hard for me to do). The huge wardrobe can't go in to the spare room until the new laminate is in there. I can't put up the baby's cot and changing table in the bedroom, or repaint the walls, until the huge wardrobe is moved out. The bedroom carpet needs ripping out too but right now I'm beyond caring.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I don't have anyone else to help right now. My parents are older and can't lift things, my sister and BIL live way down south, my brother is useless and won't do anything. My very left wing neo feminist, anti baby, friends have all pretty much turned in to thin air since I got pregnant and the partners of my male friends are all seemingly so bonkers that they wouldn't let them help me. I sat and listened as the wife of my best male friend screamed at him down the phone when he rang her to say he was going to help out one weekend. I ended up just asking him not to and to leave it because it wasn't worth the upset. DH's friends aren't an option really as they all work similar hours and shifts, if he even ask them, and we can't afford to get someone in to help.

He just comes home after a 7hr work day (I used to work 12?! And still work from home now) and says he's too tired, he'll do it tomorrow, watches stuff on TV, gets grumpy if I push it and then goes to bed. We've been together almost 14yrs. He's hopeless at DIY and he hates doing it but I'm just asking for help while I do it or help lifting stuff.

I just need someone to lend me a hand before I lose the plot. AIBU to just bugger off down south for a few days to get away from it all? I just want to cry.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Tue 14-Mar-17 21:34:00

Go get some space. You sound tired and, yes I totally agree this is annoying, but it's probably hormones not helping either.

In future I'd give him xx days to do whatever job or do it yourself or pay someone to do it. If you have to pay, it's his home too and he should pay half.

Derlei Tue 14-Mar-17 21:40:13

We were doing our home up from to bottom when I was pregnant. The place was upside down and my DH insisted on doing most of it himself so everything was taking ages. I was so stressed about it I moved to my mums for 4 months. It gave my DH a kick up the arse and he shifted it into gear. It pretty much got done 2 weeks before I gave birth. Never again!

Go and stay with somebody a bit to get away from looking at it as it will upset you more more. Also tell your partner that it needs to be done by xxx otherwise you'll find a local handyman to do it.

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