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DH moving baby's things

(17 Posts)
StrugglingFirstTimeMum Mon 13-Mar-17 20:27:40

Odd argument to have, considering my DH has never been known for his tidying, but he keeps tidying our baby's toys and books etc. upstairs when we use them everyday, and it's driving me mad.

Our baby is 11 weeks old, and just starting to show an interest in toys. He feeds a lot so he and I are quite often on the sofa in one spot when we're home, and I like to have his things around me so that when he is alert we can pick a few bits up to have a look at while we have a 'chat'. I keep going to find a soft book or toy or something and they've gone, moved to the nursery! This tidying from a man who leaves his own shoes in the middle of the floor or wherever he takes them off (sometimes NEXT to the shoe rack...), and has a permanent floordrobe.

Ultimately, I'll buy a storage box and keep DS' bits next to my chair, so it's not a big deal, but we have argued about this tonight, which feels ridiculous.

AIBU to think that we have a baby now, we can't have no evidence of him in our living room?! I think I need things to hand, and when DH puts everything in the nursery it makes me think he imagines I'm spending my whole maternity leave in that one small room confused

So as not to dripfeed, I am still annoyed about the many many times he has left the room with the remote controls out of my reach when I have been breastfeeding. And he has also many times left the newspaper strewn across the seats. It's like a mental block that he can't see that I spend half my time stuck in one place (baby feeding or sleeping on me), and other times holding a baby before I sit down (annoying to have to move all his stuff one-handed).

I'm sure all of this is standard new parent niggles. But god it's annoying. AIB hormonal? Or do I have a point?

DJBaggySmalls Mon 13-Mar-17 20:28:50

YANBU, its very self centered of him.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Mon 13-Mar-17 20:29:59

You so have a point.

I'd take his stuff, maybe his phone or book, something he was looking forward to doing when sitting down in the living room and move it. Tidy it away. I'm petty though grin

He's being utterly thoughtless. I'd be really angry, being pinned under a baby is simultaneously the most lovely and most boring feeling at times.

StrugglingFirstTimeMum Mon 13-Mar-17 20:46:54

Ha! I like that Felicia!

It's so weird, we've been together ten years and it's the first time he's been this houseproud. I think in a way it's not thoughtless, it's him trying to step up while I can't do as much housework, but he's taking away the things we use!

GirlElephant Mon 13-Mar-17 20:53:21

Is he house proud in that he thinks visitors will judge some normal clutter? If so tell him people are visiting a home not a museum wink

When BF you absolutely need tv remote, phone, refreshments etc next to you for your comfort & convenience.

You also need (in my opinion!) a living room change mat, all nappy changing things, spare outfit, bibs, toys, Muslim box for convenience.

We keep a small toyboz in the living room with the above for all toys that he uses now and the above. It's near his playmat & easy to use and tidy away.

The rest of his stuff is in his nursery but it's nice to have some basic things to hand to save going up & down stairs all day.

lilyborderterrier Mon 13-Mar-17 20:53:37

Bless you wait till you have a toddler they'll be stuff everywhere ! Men bless them just don't get it until the babies are a bit older and sitting up obviously playing. I'd buy a basket and chuck a few things in it. Stop tidying away his stuff and see how long it takes for him to start noticing!

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Mon 13-Mar-17 20:56:21

He's happy to leave his things lying around though!

My husband had a really helpful habit of bringing me a drink when I was breastfeeding. Twins. He'd hand the glass to me hmm. Utter fool.

He got a withering glare and was asked relatively politely to put it on the table next to me. Sometimes they need a little push in the right direction to understand they're not actually being the helpful!

Lazyafternoon Mon 13-Mar-17 21:00:33

My DH was like this. Wanted to be helpful and involved. I'm sure I screamed at him once to just bloody make me a cup of tea and leave it in arms reach and don't keep moving the stuff I need to where I can't get them!!! I think he got the point.

Although his latest is now DS is using a potty DH will helpfully empty it and clean it out, but will then leave it in the bath. We have a couple of potties and if I've been busy it's not unusual to find them both in their. Then it's just typical that at the point DH wanders off DS needs a wee and can't find his potty!!! I think a shouty moment to tell him to just just bloody put the potty back when it's empty, he's probably going to need it again in 5 mins!.... And breathe.

ElphabaTheGreen Mon 13-Mar-17 21:09:02

Felicia My DH did the handing-glass-to-me thing EVERY time too. I mean...what the fucky fuck? Did he expect me to grasp it with my feet and thank him politely? I only fed one baby at a time but tongue ties meant latch on both were shit so both hands were needed to keep boob in mouth for the first few months.

OP - four and a two year old here. If we cleared the toys from downstairs to their rooms upstairs everyday, we would literally spend the day doing nothing else. Plus their rooms would not accommodate the mind-boggling amount of shit small children accumulate. Tell your DH to just sit, stare and get used to the quaint pile of toys in his living room, because very soon, it will become a behemoth.

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing Mon 13-Mar-17 21:12:00

Mine does this too! It's infuriating- although EVERYTHING is tidied away by Mine!!

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Mon 13-Mar-17 21:21:24

Mine did this, so I eventually just retaliated. Asking and shouting had zero effect.

His stuff started mysteriously disappearing. Best one was sneaking his towel away when he was in the shower. That one actually got the message through. 'oh I'm so so sorry, I was just tidying it. Did you need it to hand?' no, sorry, I can't get one for you, I'm feeding the baby....what, you've run out of loo roll too?'


StrugglingFirstTimeMum Mon 13-Mar-17 21:40:34

When DH went back to work, he joked to his colleagues about me asking him to hand me something that was a foot away. And he still doesn't get it now, even after joking about it!

Seems as though I'm not alone.

I feel slightly bad that he is doing the tidying to help, and that I have tried to get him this interested in tidying for 10 years, and now I'm on MN moaning that it's still not right! Ah well, I'll offload here so that I can deal with it better in real life.

StrugglingFirstTimeMum Mon 13-Mar-17 21:41:56

SheRaaargh is an evil genius.

kel1493 Mon 13-Mar-17 21:44:50

That would drive me mad. Sorry. We've always kept our lo's toys in the living room. We don't even have toyboxes as I like him to be able to get them whenever, easily.
We used to live with my dad so had to keep toys in boxes. But as soon as we moved into our own house, all his toys go on the floor. I love evidence of a baby in the house.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Mon 13-Mar-17 21:46:14

You're not the first to say that, Struggling wink

And in case anybody feels that I'm harsh, don't. He's an ex and was a total wanker.

previously1474etc Tue 14-Mar-17 00:02:45

I would suggest putting all his stuff in a box by his seat when you find it lying around, or dump it in a pile on the floor by his chair.

To resolve the problem with the remote I bought a grabber, which is fine if it is only about 3ft away and has been useful for stuff on high shelves, retrieving stuff that shouldn't be in the bin etc.

As a last resort I have my own set of remotes which I keep in a basket by my seat.

No amount of asking made any difference so I keep my stuff in my basket and there is one on the other side for his stuff, so worth getting something for baby things and keep it to yourself.

ThePants999 Tue 14-Mar-17 00:06:36

Somehow, I've gone all my years and never heard the word "floordrobe". I love it. Thanks :D

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