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about hubby, he thinks I am

(19 Posts)
daysgoingby Mon 13-Mar-17 17:25:47

Hubby wakes up ridiculously early, sometimes before 5. He says he can't help this. Obviously as a result he is ready for bed at nine, and tbh he's often asleep even before this, snoring.

Thing is I get really lonely sat down myself in the evenings. And weekends are a nightmare, I like to have a proper lie-in but he is still up and then we've maybe only got a few hours together. Can't have a night out as he's tired


harderandharder2breathe Mon 13-Mar-17 17:27:47

Yabu he's an adult he can decide what time he gets up and what time he goes to bed.

Why should he be the one to change, if you're the one it bothers? You could get up earlier and go to bed earlier if you wanted to spend more time together

daysgoingby Mon 13-Mar-17 17:31:12

Yes I understand this but i feel my bedtimes are slightly more in keeping with what most adults do.

PlayOnWurtz Mon 13-Mar-17 17:32:29

I know how you feel my husband is/was the same. Is your husband a drinker? Dh was worse when he drank, now he's stopped his sleep has improved 100%

Gowgirl Mon 13-Mar-17 17:32:52

You are unreasonable to call him your hubby, but I would be a bit pissed off if dh toddled off to bed at nine every night

Heirhelp Mon 13-Mar-17 17:34:39

Why does he have to change the time he goes to bed and gets up? Why don't you change it?

He is bu to not make an exception once a week or occasionally to go out.

GrumpyInsomniac Mon 13-Mar-17 17:39:33

While it would be unreasonable for you to tell him when to go to bed, it would help to know how he ended up like this. I mean, if he's always been this way, you knew it when you married him.

Does he have to be at work super early so needs to wake at 5? If not, surely some room for compromise from both of you. He could try going to bed an hour later and shift his sleeping pattern back an hour, for example. And then make sure he doesn't wake you on weekends when you want a lie-in.

But as one who has real problems sleeping, I'd get very pissed off with someone telling me I couldn't do what I needed to in order to get a proper night's sleep.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter Mon 13-Mar-17 17:41:13

As a adult I think he can go to bed/get up when he likes tbh

If the man is tired he needs to sleep.

KnittedDress Mon 13-Mar-17 17:43:01

YABU to call him hubby (not helpful I know but), and YABU to expect him to stay up if he's tired. Also how Kate do you sleep in at weekends that you only get a few hours together before 9pm? confused

KnittedDress Mon 13-Mar-17 17:43:25

'Late' not Kate...

WorraLiberty Mon 13-Mar-17 17:45:21

The OP is not unreasonable to call him her hubby, if that's what she calls him confused

daysgoingby Mon 13-Mar-17 17:45:52

He just wakes up early, and although he's always been an earlybird not THIS early, sometimes it's half four hmm I generally stay in bed till 10/11 weekends.

Gowgirl Mon 13-Mar-17 17:52:02

I get up early, around 5.30 with the dcs, and normally go to bed 11/12, dh hates getting up and i regularly have to shout at weekends as it is like living with a teenager, now I just put the two youngest in the bedroom and shut them in, that tends to shift himgrin

AmysTiara Mon 13-Mar-17 17:55:59

She can call him hubby if she wants. That wasn't her AIBU fgs.

It does seem really early to be going to sleep but you can't dictate someones sleeping patternns I'm afraid.

ClopySow Mon 13-Mar-17 18:16:37

Yabu. I wake no later than 6.30 in winter and 5.30 in summer. I wish i had some control over it, i just don't. Going to bed later just makes me more tired

StillStayingClassySanDiego Mon 13-Mar-17 20:20:43

I'm just like your Dh. I've always been a lark and awake about 5.30, I get up at 5.45 during the week. I'm just starting to feel a bit tired so will be in bed by 9.00, asleep by 9.30 probably. It's my body clock, always been like this.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 13-Mar-17 20:24:52


I'm like your DH too. Couldnt stand being made to stay up later than I want to because DH insists he's right about what time I should go to bed confused.

I'd also be pretty resentful if he wanted to laze away the weekends staying in bed until 10/11, that would really piss me off.

Falafelings Mon 13-Mar-17 20:25:47

I'm like your DH.

Why not compromise - both go to bed at 10, up at 6.

I'm not convinced it's the norm to sleep till 10/11 on the weekend though. That seems such a waste of a day.

Mu51cal Mon 13-Mar-17 20:29:22

Google "familial advanced sleep phase disorder"...

Sounds like your dp has what my hubby has. We've been together 15 years and have never once been to the cinema in the evening as he can't stay awake.

Winter evenings are lonely and he wakes up anywhere between 4-6am no matter what time he goes to bed.


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