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Just been fired. AIBU to think I'm missing something mentally that lets people work?

(78 Posts)
IdiotGirl17 Mon 13-Mar-17 12:58:21

I'm just shit at every job I try. Largely I think due to anxiety and dyspraxia. I can read something 100 times and not get it, won't even remember what it said in the previous sentence. I lose all confidence and faith in my ability to write even a simple email, and have to check facts in what I'm writing 20 or 30 times before I send it. Obviously all this makes me very slow so I keep pissing people off and getting let go.

Feeling very lost after starting off this morning feeling optimistic that I'd try to get better and improve. I don't know what to do. It seems like I will never not be poor, because I am a complete fuck up when it comes to work. I try so hard and mess up time and time again.

Afreshstartplease Mon 13-Mar-17 12:59:37

Are you in the wrong line of work maybe? Have you tried different types of jobs

MissisBoote Mon 13-Mar-17 13:01:50

What a shit start to the week. flowers

If you have dispraxia shouldn't your employer consider reasonable adjustments?

How about changing the sector that you work in? If you've been working in offices, how about something more practical and hands on?

Crispbutty Mon 13-Mar-17 13:02:40

Try a job that's not office/admin based where you can use the skills you do have rather than stressing yourself trying to perfect skills that you haven't got. You will find the right thing. Don't be too hard on yourself.

MrsWhiteWash Mon 13-Mar-17 13:03:58

I was going to ask what areas are you in?

I've kept jobs with dyspraxia - though I underline words with reading and make notes if possible when people talk and repeat things back - basally I have techniques for handling stuff I'm not that great at.

I wonder if it's the accompanying anxiety - have you sought treatment for it - and what have your tried?

MatildaTheCat Mon 13-Mar-17 13:04:21

Have you had help with your anxiety? Then consider a totally different line of work which doesn't involve a lot of reading and processing written information.

Good luck, it sounds hard. From your OP it's clear you are literate and well able to put sentences together coherently so I reckon your anxiety is dragging you down.

TeenAndTween Mon 13-Mar-17 13:04:25

I would suggest
either
- trying a different type of job. What are your strengths? What jobs would go well with them?
or
- declaring your dyspraxia and asking for reasonable adjustments (but still don't go for a job that your dyspraxia makes very hard)

Also, maybe see a counsellor about your anxiety?

IdiotGirl17 Mon 13-Mar-17 13:09:09

It's office work, that's pretty much the only area I have any experience in on my CV. In ways I'm very flexible and can turn my hand to different industries - but I always screw it up because of this massive problem.

I don't even know where to start with thinking of non office based jobs? If I'm daydreaming I think work in an independent bookshop would be lovely, but I have no real retail experience apart from some temping at Christmas as a student many years ago. Retail seems to mostly be min wage too?

In order to earn more than min wage it seems like office based work is the only thing.

IdiotGirl17 Mon 13-Mar-17 13:10:49

I take meds for anxiety. On several waiting lists for medication review and counselling, but at the same time I know there's no magic bullet. I need to change my lifestyle and figure out a different job I can do but can think of nothing that has scope for earning decent money.

MrsWhiteWash Mon 13-Mar-17 13:19:23

I've coped with office work - receptionist on quiet desk ( would have struggled on very busy one I think ) then admin assistant plus what I trained for was office based but very skilled.

I struggled with production line factory work I did as a summer job - keeping up was hard but there were other area which were as fast or requiring coordination - back of ovens.

It sounds like your so worried about making mistakes that your taking a long time to do tasks - has someone said anything? Or is this you worrying?

IdiotGirl17 Mon 13-Mar-17 13:21:45

Well I am worried because I've lost my job and it's not the first time. Employers get unhappy with me not getting stuff done and I can understand that. Fair enough. What I can't understand is how to change myself, or how to find something I can do better.

AbernathysFringe Mon 13-Mar-17 13:32:17

I understand OP. I'm completely useless at practical work which has led to some crappy work situations (waitressing etc wasn't much good)
Sadly I'm also unorganised as heck, so even when I make lists etc, I always forget something important. (office work, unless not too much responsibility quite the fail too. Was once PA for someone even MORE unorganised. It was AWFUL.)
I'm good with people though and with anything involving language and writing skills.
You probably can't change yourself vastly, just try to identify things you ARE happier with/better at and accept that not everyone finds their life satisfaction through their job or has to aim for promotion after promotion.

MrsWhiteWash Mon 13-Mar-17 13:32:37

Have your looked at on-line skill/career tests?
www.whatcareerisrightforme.com/
www.teamtechnology.co.uk/careers/what-career-is-right-for-me.html

They may generate some ideas.

If you have a degree the careers service of that university should be in a position to help.

Listing strengths and weaknesses - look into approaching further employers about adaptions that could/might help.

Do you have money or would you be eligible for funding for further qualifications?

If you are having the some issues again and again with different employers then you need to look at some different areas - something where time is less an issue if that is what they are saying the problem is.

I am sorry you've been fired flowers. I know when DH was made redundant it really knocked his confidence back. He did eventually find something much better career wise - took time and perseverance.

TeenAndTween Mon 13-Mar-17 13:33:24

What are your strengths? Maybe the MN hive mind can find a direction for you?

ThePants999 Mon 13-Mar-17 13:33:40

For one thing, stop worrying about earning potential at this stage. Finding a job you can be good at will surely help, even if it's low-paid, and once you've built confidence (and references) you can look at better-paid jobs.

BakeOffBiscuits Mon 13-Mar-17 13:35:46

I do sympathise as I'm exactly the same. I trained in a profession but left after a few years as I was so anxious every single day that I would make a terrible mistake.
It obviously affected my earning income hugely.
I've since retrained as a book keeper so I can work from home and take my own time.

Could you see an careers advisor, if they still exist, who could talk through options?

LIZS Mon 13-Mar-17 13:37:59

Did you declare your dyspraxia and anxiety on the application form? You should be covered by dda if so and they should make reasonable adjustments. Maybe next time ensure you document, or they provide, processes which you can refer back to, for example.

YouMeddlingKids Mon 13-Mar-17 13:38:43

How were you at school? Did you have any strategies that helped you then? Is it worse now because of the anxiety, not the dyspraxia?

The80sweregreat Mon 13-Mar-17 13:39:52

My son has dyspraxia, really tried hard at school but the writing side of things let him down - he has a job , but a lot of people would call it 'menial' involves a lot of driving which he doesnt mind that much.
He always used to say ' i could never work with computers or a in an office' so we had to play to his strengths a bit and finds a job more hands on. There a few support groups on line you could look up - getting a diagnoses would mean seeing your GP i think - my son was sent by the school for his referrals, but apart from using a PC at school there wasnt a lot that they could do for him and us moving around different schools when he was young didnt help matters. look up on amazon for a brilliant book by a young lady who has severe dyspraxia, its very insightful and she lists lots of things that have helped her to cope with every day life and work. I cant remember her name but its a good read and, i am sure, there are other books out there too which might be able to help. Change your username too, the one you have isnt true - it may be a case of trying to find a job that is more suited to you, or a case of getting the referral so that you can be more upfront with potential employers about what you can and can't manage. I am sorry i cant be much more help, my son took a while to find a job he could manage and deal with, but he got there in the end. \It might be worth seeing the local careers adviser or look on line at other areas of work. Good luck and try not to get too down about everything.

NKFell Mon 13-Mar-17 13:40:01

Retail can be a funny one, it is always low to start and for a while but managers jobs aren't too badly paid.

Like what previous posters have said, you just need to look into your skills and see what you're suited to. Don't beat yourself up.

sycamore54321 Mon 13-Mar-17 13:41:49

I agree that you can't expect to walk into a well-paid job that involves lots of written processing if you aren't good at written processing. A lower-paid job - like retail - will still pay more than getting fired and having periods of unemployment.

Much easier to change your career than to change yourself.

SapphireStrange Mon 13-Mar-17 13:43:43

Right, change your username for a start. You're not an idiot.

Someone else has asked this, but have employers made reasonable adjustments for your conditions? (do/did your employers KNOW about them?). They are legally obliged to.

If you have an indie bookshop nearby, why not ask if you can have a chat to a manager? Not to ask for a job but to find out more about what the work actually entails. If it's something you'd like to do, there's no harm at all in investigating it.

thanks brew

Megatherium Mon 13-Mar-17 13:47:19

Realistically if you're being repeatedly fired from office jobs, you will be no worse off starting off with something that's lower paid but where you won't get fired. Start looking for jobs that you would feel comfortable with and work up from that.

NewPuppyMum Mon 13-Mar-17 13:49:06

Please change your username. You aren't an idiot. You haven't found your calling yet that's all. Good luck.

shovetheholly Mon 13-Mar-17 13:56:50

Oh, you poor thing, what shit news flowers

The anxiety can and will get better with help. I'm glad you're on the list for counselling. It might be worth returning to your GP and explaining what has happened, with a view to seeing whether you can be fast-tracked onto a programme that helps.

When you're reading back and back through what you have put in an email, what is the worst case scenario that plays out in your mind?

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