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To want to disconnect from draining friend

(6 Posts)
Cloudnineteen Mon 13-Mar-17 11:21:41

So I reconnected with an old school friend about 18 months ago. We have been meeting on average once a week for a coffee or evening drink.

She has been in a very unstable relationship with a guy on and off for 3 years.He lives out of the area and visits so isn't around often. She's had quite a hard adult life. I feel sorry for her and do like her, but I am becoming very drained from meeting up with her as we have the same old conversation about her partner, who no longer wants a relationship with her. She never listens to my advice and I find myself constantly repeating the same old spiel. She never takes any interest in me or things going on in my life. We talk the whole time about this bloke who couldn't give a dam about her. I have tried to move conversation on and introduce new topics but it always ends back at him.

Lately I have put off meeting up with her but then get bombarded with messages.

AIBU to drop her as a friend?

Aeroflotgirl Mon 13-Mar-17 11:27:43

I would just distance myself from her, if you are finding it very one sided, then its not much of a friendship. She sounds very needy and you are being used as her sounding board. Just ignore her messages and hopefully they will peter out.

Bantanddec Mon 13-Mar-17 11:30:42

I know it's hard, I had a friend just like the one you described, she would constantly tell me about her toxic abusive relationship but never heed my advice or offer for support. I offered her and her daughter (not current partners child) to move in with me for as long as she needed. Each time I would offer all of a sudden things were hunky dory between them and I would end up with a torrent of abuse from her partner suggesting I was trying to split them up. In the end I had to walk away, I felt nothing I could do or offer was good enough for her. Obviously if she did leave him my door would always be open but I just felt like we were constantly going round on circles which was causing me alot of stress and anxiety.

gamerchick Mon 13-Mar-17 11:31:12

She sounds like an emotional vampire, she needs you to get her fix.

You could try straight talking first? Tell her you'll meet up but she's banned from mentioning him type of thing.

Personally I would bin, don't have the patience anymore.

Cloudnineteen Mon 13-Mar-17 12:03:14

Thanks for your advice everyone!

gamerchick Mon 13-Mar-17 12:06:05

You could the next time she texts just say 'I don't want to meet up with you because you only have one topic of conversation' rinse and repeat.

She may never speak to you again if you're lucky.

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