To feel this way..?

(22 Posts)
shesaidhello1 Mon 13-Mar-17 09:14:05

So driving to work earlier today, and towards the end of my journey I approach some traffic lights and wait alongside all the other cars. To the left of me I see a middle aged man walking past the cars most likely from the supermarket which is close by. He looks at me in the car as he passes and it's a very 'weird' look. At first i think hmm how bizarre. Then as the light went green and I drive off he turns to look at stares at me for a good long 5 or so seconds before I turn the corner. It really freaked me out. I know this sounds over the top but I felt physically violated, slightly sick and I can't really explain why! Anyone else ever felt like this? Or had a strange vibe from someone they've never seen before?! FYI I drive to work with a complete RBF (resting bitch face) so he could have been looking at my, what someone could perceive as a, pissed off face but the first time he looked at me he couldn't really have known the expression I had until he saw my face if that makes sense! I'm still trying to work out what he must have been looking at!

Giraffe31 Mon 13-Mar-17 09:15:25

Maybe he thought he knew you. Lots of people do double takes at people they think they recognise

ElspethFlashman Mon 13-Mar-17 09:15:36

He thought you might have been someone he knew, that's all. He was trying to figure out if he recognised you.

IamFriedSpam Mon 13-Mar-17 09:25:30

I agree with PP he probably thought he recognised you or you reminded him of someone, or maybe he thought you were giving him a dirty look. Really not worth wasting any time thinking about.

Happyandhungry Mon 13-Mar-17 10:42:02

How funny you felt sick etc what a massive reaction to someone that may not have actually even been looking at you or may have thought he knew you.

Screwinthetuna Mon 13-Mar-17 10:48:54

Bit over the top to feel physically violated. Maybe he thought you were staring at him funny too?

FruSkogKattOla Mon 13-Mar-17 10:50:53

I agree with PPs that he probably thought you look like someone he knows.

As a pedestrian it can sometimes be quite hard to properly see a car driver (reflections off a windscreen or whatever), so perhaps he took a second look because he still wasn't sure.

A few weeks ago a car drove past me, round the corner from where I live, and the driver waved - so I waved back thinking he was a neighbour from a few doors down (I had no idea what car he had). Chatting to same neighbour a few days ago and I mentioned his car - he told me he doesn't drive so doesn't own a car! I was sure it had been him, but I admit I didn't get a proper look at the driver. Now I have no idea who I was waving at.

NavyandWhite Mon 13-Mar-17 10:53:58

Violated is a strong emotion for a seemingly benign stare. Do you suffer from anxiety?

There could be a million reasons why he looked your way. Probably very innocent.

Lilypurple Mon 13-Mar-17 10:57:13

You were staring at him first though..

Rainydayspending Mon 13-Mar-17 10:57:15

You started that with "so". That's a sin right off the bat.
Another genuine wondering if you suffer from social anxieties at all? Do you feel uneasy with strangers usually? Or in crowds? A car can be quite a safe space for some people with anxiety problems, making eye contact with someone outside the car can break that comfort zone.

shesaidhello1 Mon 13-Mar-17 12:33:52

It could be that he recognised me from somewhere. I just can't describe it however, it was just the way he looked at me. As if he was looking straight through me. I see so many people day to day and I'm not quite sure why this particular man freaked me out so much.

nelipotter Mon 13-Mar-17 13:50:31

There are some freaky assholes in the world and some of them manage to get in your head. Sexual harassment can be subtle and insidious, the way a creep looks at you can be just as offensive as overt cat calling and similar. He probably was a creep, but you just have to brush it off. Sorry, I know these things can be awful and stay on your mind for a while. flowers

Ohyesiam Mon 13-Mar-17 21:51:49

You could just be very intuitive, and he could be a massive creep.

AgentProvocateur Mon 13-Mar-17 21:56:12

Bit of a leap to go from a man looking at her for 5 seconds to sexual harassment hmm.

shesaidhello1 Mon 13-Mar-17 22:52:49

It was a leering kind of look, it literally freaked me out all day. I see so many people on my drive to and fro work. Make eye contact with plenty. Been waved at by complete strangers, or random drivers flashing lights and not thought much more of it. Not sure why this particular one affected me so much.

previously1474etc Mon 13-Mar-17 23:54:03

I get a lot of people staring when we are out, I was wondering why they were looking at me until it crossed my mind they were probably looking at the little green logo thing on the front of the car. Once they have looked at it they tend to look through the window though which is disconcerting.

helpimitchy Tue 14-Mar-17 00:06:18

I think we develop a keen instinct for these types of situations, particularly as women. We're often able to spot a creep or weirdo very easily. We have this instinct to keep us safe. It's natural. He was very likely a weirdo if you identified the look as strange and it freaked you out.

EeyoreNeededMedication Tue 14-Mar-17 05:58:45

We're often able to spot a creep or weirdo very easily. We have this instinct to keep us safe.

Do we? I assume men do too. hmm

He was very likely a weirdo if you identified the look as strange and it freaked you out.

Yes, I suspect he looked a little rapey!

OP, I think you genuinely need help if this made you feel violated.

shesaidhello1 Tue 14-Mar-17 09:59:43

Apologies to anyone this offended. It was just a question I wanted to ask about an experience I had had. Who knows, maybe he thought I was someone else or maybe I'm hormonal or maybe he was just having a right good perv - who knows. Although saying I need help may be slightly unfair sad

WorraLiberty Tue 14-Mar-17 10:02:09

Why would he perv over the head and shoulders of a random driver, with a resting bitch face? grin

As PPs have said, he probably thought he knew you and couldn't place who you were.

TheOnlyLivingDeadBoyInNewYork Tue 14-Mar-17 10:52:09

* I know this sounds over the top but I felt physically violated, slightly sick and I can't really explain why*

Yes, it does. Very very very over the top.
Chances are he wasn't even looking at you, just staring into the middle distance.

EeyoreNeededMedication Tue 14-Mar-17 12:19:38

Although saying I need help may be slightly unfair

That depends how you take it.

I meant it as this isn't enough to make someone in a sound state of mind feel "violated" or "sick". If that's really how you felt then you need to understand that this isn't a normal reaction and you should learn how to deal with people looking at you without these fairly extreme reactions. Especially when you're sat in a safe, protective, lockable, metal box.

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