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To think it's unfair that SIL is having a free holiday at my expense?

(484 Posts)
sleepwhatsleep Mon 13-Mar-17 07:35:13

We've booked a holiday home in Cornwall for a week in the summer. Me and OH with DS, his parents, his brother with his wife and 2 kids. Between the 3 couples we've split the cost.
Anyway last night MIL said that OH's brother's SIL is going to join us "for a few days" as "there are enough bedrooms anyway". There is just enough bedrooms for the 3 couples and the kids. OH's brother has 2 kids - one will be less than a year old so sharing with them anyway, and the other has special needs so needs their own room.
Mil has already referred to "well if we have to then your DS can sleep in your bathroom for a few nights" which i thought was odd as there were enough rooms for him to sleep separately (he will be 1 and a bit). So i guess from what i learned yesterday that they've already decided that DS will have to give up his room to accomdate his SIL with her kids for their free holiday for a few days out of only a week? angry
What's made me more annoyed is that they haven't asked us beforehand.

AIBU to kick off about this?

BadLad Mon 13-Mar-17 07:38:22

AIBU to kick off about this?

Not at all. Good luck.

honeysucklejasmine Mon 13-Mar-17 07:39:09

No, YANBU. Do you know her?

EndoplasmicReticulum Mon 13-Mar-17 07:39:47

Will the owners of the holiday home be OK with that? I thought some had rules that you were not to wedge in extra guests

DelphiniumBlue Mon 13-Mar-17 07:40:37

Very annoying.
Is there a reason why she wasn't included in the plan originally? It seems a shame for her to be left out of a family holiday, I'm guessing there's a back story?

wifeyhun Mon 13-Mar-17 07:40:58

YANBU sounds horrendous.

Lweji Mon 13-Mar-17 07:41:38

If you're paying for two rooms, you decide what happens to them. Stand your ground.

aaaaargghhhhelpme Mon 13-Mar-17 07:41:44


But I'd angle it more on why your son should give up his bed more than is it fair she gets a free holiday

More likely to listen to you as it sounds less 'jealous' (not that it is - just saying how it might sound!)

Good luck

gamerchick Mon 13-Mar-17 07:42:11

Tell them fine but you want reimbursing the money you've paid for that room. Or that she can sleep in the bathroom.

No way I'd have one of my kids hoofed to the bathroom. I really would pull out altogether and ask for the money back.

Or better still let your bloke deal with it.

PlumsGalore Mon 13-Mar-17 07:43:00

You need to get your DH to tell her it us not ok that you gave paid a third of the cost so your son can sleep in the bathroom, that us ridiculous.

DartmoorDoughnut Mon 13-Mar-17 07:43:39

Just say your ds will be sleeping the room you've paid for not in a bath tub and look confused if they suggest anything else

Lweji Mon 13-Mar-17 07:43:56

How long is a few days out of a week? hmm

And why would a 1 year old sleep in a bathroom? hmm

What did you say?

PollyBanana Mon 13-Mar-17 07:45:24

Is she going to contribute financially?

thebakerwithboobs Mon 13-Mar-17 07:46:55

I'd ask your SIL how much she's contributing. Not in a nasty tone, just as if you have assumed it so you know how much you will have extra to spend smile

OhWotIsItThisTime Mon 13-Mar-17 07:47:40

Tell your dh you don't think it's right that your ds sleeps in the bathroom. Then let him deal with it. A 'few days' out of a one week holiday is half the holiday. So how will you sort food/bathroom time (especially if ds is sleeping in one), and is it in breach of the rental agreement?

welovepancakes Mon 13-Mar-17 07:48:28

Never mind sleeping arrangements and free holiday, I'd be more upset about MIL changing the dynamics of the holiday and assuming it was OK to invite extra guests.

BadLad Mon 13-Mar-17 07:48:46

Just say your ds will be sleeping the room you've paid for not in a bath tub and look confused if they suggest anything else

Yes, probably best to treat this suggestion as if it's quite an amusing joke. Laugh, and propose that OH's brother's SIL sleeps on the barbeque or something, with increasing ludicrous suggestions, as if the bathroom idea couldn't possibly be serious.

DancingPenguin1 Mon 13-Mar-17 07:48:46

I would absolutely not have my child sleeping in a bathroom. I would justly innocently enquirer as to where they'll be sleeping and (if that isn't your sons room) innocently say how much it will help sharing the cost a bit further.

Astro55 Mon 13-Mar-17 07:48:57

Let her pay your share and book a cottage for you and your DS

Sounds like a nightmare holiday to me

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered Mon 13-Mar-17 07:50:04

I wouldn't kick off, but I would insist that she pays for the room for the nights she'll be using it.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Mon 13-Mar-17 07:50:12

There will be something in rental agreement about maximum occupancy, so adding 3 people might go over that

Lweji Mon 13-Mar-17 07:50:25

If they get ahead with this plan, this would be the last time I'd share a rental holiday place with them.

DustyMaiden Mon 13-Mar-17 07:51:54

1 year old in a bathroom is dangerous and ridiculous. Who pays the piper calls the tune.

Brokenbiscuit Mon 13-Mar-17 07:52:20

YANBU. I don't think it would be that big a deal if there were genuinely enough rooms, but no way should your ds have to sleep in the bathroom! Could he not sleep in your room, though?

If everyone can be accommodated adequately, then perhaps you'll just have to suck it up, even though it would have been nice if they'd have asked you. However, no harm to ask innocently what your recalculated share of the bill will be once the sil has made her contribution.

Chloe84 Mon 13-Mar-17 07:53:07

I wouldn't put my most hated family member in the bathroom!

Who the fuck does MIL think she is? Tell her she can sleep in the bathroom!

It does like she had a free holiday for SIL in mind all along.

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