Who is wrong, me or him?

[GrandmaGotRunOverByAReindeer]

There's an annual activity that I do and I've really been looking forward to.
I told him the exact date 3 weeks age and asked him to book it off asap, he told me his boss had said it was too far in advance but it would be fine.

This morning he tells me he can't have it off now because 2 other people have.
he will be working 6am-6pm that day, I will be out 5:15am-7:30pm.

I asked if he could swap shifts with someone, he said no.
I said I would ask my mum and my sister and he said he wasn't dragging the kids out of bed that early, I said my sister could stay over and he said I'm selfish because the activity is obviously more important than anything else.
Then he asked if I wanted him to find Gary glitters number since I didn't care who had them as long as it wasn't me..

I'm annoyed because he was supposed to sort it and hasn't, he has a history of not bothering if somethings not important to him, he will go to his brothers for half an hour but actually come back hours later when I've missed something I was supposed to do.

[highinthesky]

Yes he is BU.

You're making provision for childcare, he can't be helpful yet he wont butt out and leave you to it either. Suggesting that your mum and sisters are up there with a paedophile like Gary Glitter is highly insulting and you should tell him so.

[SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter]

What's the issue with your sister staying over? Sounds like the perfect solutionto me she's your sister ffs not a stranger and if he was so bothered who had the dc he would of booked it off or tried to swap shifts won't he.

It's once a week is that correct? So his being an arse!

I bet he goes out now and then doesn't he so why shouldn't you be allowed to do the same

[Ameliablue]

If this is a once a year thing only then he is being unreasonable.

[ImperialBlether]

He sounds completely selfish and I would bet he hasn't even asked anyone to swap shift.

Could your sister have them in her house (or your mum)?

[SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter]

Once a year not week, my fat fingers sorry

[PastysPrincess]

He is BU. The Gary Glitter comments are extremely offensive and hurtful.

[ZilphasHatpin]

He is. Clearly. Go to your thing. Have your sister stay over. Ignore him.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Unless your sister is a convicted sex offender then he is wrong

[BreatheDeep]

I don't understand why he'd have an issue with you finding another solution. From this tiny snapshot of your life he sounds controlling, like you're not allowed time away from him and the children.

[EllaHen]

And this man is supposed to love you? Total twat.

[harderandharder2breathe]

Your sister staying over then babysitting is the ideal solution considering your DH couldn't be arsed to sort himself out to do this for you

[ScarlettFreestone]

YANBU.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

The GG comment was offensive and uncalled for. He should be the one sorting out childcare, not you.

[titsbumfannythelot]

What a dick. Sounds like he's trying to guilt trip you into not going. Unless there is a massive backstory then he is being vvv unreasonable.

[Birdsgottaf1y]

""he has a history of not bothering if somethings not important to him, he will go to his brothers for half an hour but actually come back hours later when I've missed something I was supposed to do.""

He doesn't like you having time for yourself. He'd look in the wrong if he said this, so he makes sure you can't go, in a backhanded sneaky way.

That didn't work so he tried to guilt you into staying in.

Stick to your guns and go.

[NuffSaidSam]

He sounds like a complete twat.

Go to your activity. And then have a serious rethink about your relationship.

[LostMyDotBrain]

He really doesn't want you to go. Does he have a particular issue with this activity? Or with someone you go with? Are you out a lot outside of this activity?

[Justanothernameonthepage]

Point out that since you told him about this in advance, he should be the one figuring it out. And if he doesn't, then you'll book at hotel for the night before so he can't just head off to work. if he wants you to do him a favour and sort out his emergency childcare problem then you expect his attitude to be much better. Failing that, sign up for the childcare service and point out that they all are crb checked and trained so are more safe around children then sit you or him.

[KatharinaRosalie]

He was supposed to be off - therefore it's actually HIS job to find childcare, if it has now turned out that he can't be there. I'm pretty sure he didn't even ask for time off and has not asked anybody to swap. He just doesn't like you doing anything for yourself.

[Patriciathestripper1]

He's an insecure twat if he has a history of this he obviously can't stand you doing something you enjoy.
Bide your time because he will probably have something he enjoys and just make sure you fuck it up for him.

[Astro55]

Yep - tell him you ARE going and that he's left the kids without any childcare AT ALL and if your mum and sister aren't good enough then he needs to find an alternative.

[IamFriedSpam]

It doesn't sound like he's not bothered it sounds like he's going out of his way to stop you going. Your sister looking after your children for the day is a nice bonding opportunity with their auntie (assuming she isn't a convicted child sex offender).

[Softkitty2]

He doesnt want you to go and is trying to control you. Tell him he is being an asshole.

[Wolfiefan]

He doesn't want you to go. He's being an arse.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I have a friend with a H like this. He's a controlling, abusive wanker. He doesn't want you to have a life outside the one he's designated, particularly if it affects him in any way.

Get you sister over and do anything you can to make sure you preserve the things that are important to you. And LTB