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Who is wrong, me or him?

(56 Posts)
GrandmaGotRunOverByAReindeer Sat 11-Mar-17 19:05:29

There's an annual activity that I do and I've really been looking forward to.
I told him the exact date 3 weeks age and asked him to book it off asap, he told me his boss had said it was too far in advance but it would be fine.

This morning he tells me he can't have it off now because 2 other people have.
he will be working 6am-6pm that day, I will be out 5:15am-7:30pm.

I asked if he could swap shifts with someone, he said no.
I said I would ask my mum and my sister and he said he wasn't dragging the kids out of bed that early, I said my sister could stay over and he said I'm selfish because the activity is obviously more important than anything else.
Then he asked if I wanted him to find Gary glitters number since I didn't care who had them as long as it wasn't me..

I'm annoyed because he was supposed to sort it and hasn't, he has a history of not bothering if somethings not important to him, he will go to his brothers for half an hour but actually come back hours later when I've missed something I was supposed to do.

highinthesky Sat 11-Mar-17 19:09:45

Yes he is BU.

You're making provision for childcare, he can't be helpful yet he wont butt out and leave you to it either. Suggesting that your mum and sisters are up there with a paedophile like Gary Glitter is highly insulting and you should tell him so.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter Sat 11-Mar-17 19:10:08

What's the issue with your sister staying over? Sounds like the perfect solutionto me she's your sister ffs not a stranger and if he was so bothered who had the dc he would of booked it off or tried to swap shifts won't he.

It's once a week is that correct? So his being an arse!

I bet he goes out now and then doesn't he so why shouldn't you be allowed to do the same

Ameliablue Sat 11-Mar-17 19:10:43

If this is a once a year thing only then he is being unreasonable.

ImperialBlether Sat 11-Mar-17 19:11:22

He sounds completely selfish and I would bet he hasn't even asked anyone to swap shift.

Could your sister have them in her house (or your mum)?

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter Sat 11-Mar-17 19:13:02

Once a year not week, my fat fingers sorry

PastysPrincess Sat 11-Mar-17 19:13:55

He is BU. The Gary Glitter comments are extremely offensive and hurtful.

ZilphasHatpin Sat 11-Mar-17 19:14:30

He is. Clearly. Go to your thing. Have your sister stay over. Ignore him.

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 11-Mar-17 19:14:32

Unless your sister is a convicted sex offender then he is wrong

BreatheDeep Sat 11-Mar-17 19:15:03

I don't understand why he'd have an issue with you finding another solution. From this tiny snapshot of your life he sounds controlling, like you're not allowed time away from him and the children.

EllaHen Sat 11-Mar-17 19:17:17

And this man is supposed to love you? Total twat.

harderandharder2breathe Sat 11-Mar-17 19:28:17

Your sister staying over then babysitting is the ideal solution considering your DH couldn't be arsed to sort himself out to do this for you

ScarlettFreestone Sat 11-Mar-17 19:29:35


TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 11-Mar-17 19:32:19

The GG comment was offensive and uncalled for. He should be the one sorting out childcare, not you.

titsbumfannythelot Sat 11-Mar-17 19:34:53

What a dick. Sounds like he's trying to guilt trip you into not going. Unless there is a massive backstory then he is being vvv unreasonable.

Birdsgottaf1y Sat 11-Mar-17 20:09:29

""he has a history of not bothering if somethings not important to him, he will go to his brothers for half an hour but actually come back hours later when I've missed something I was supposed to do.""

He doesn't like you having time for yourself. He'd look in the wrong if he said this, so he makes sure you can't go, in a backhanded sneaky way.

That didn't work so he tried to guilt you into staying in.

Stick to your guns and go.

NuffSaidSam Sat 11-Mar-17 20:17:45

He sounds like a complete twat.

Go to your activity. And then have a serious rethink about your relationship.

LostMyDotBrain Sat 11-Mar-17 20:18:10

He really doesn't want you to go. Does he have a particular issue with this activity? Or with someone you go with? Are you out a lot outside of this activity?

Justanothernameonthepage Sat 11-Mar-17 20:23:03

Point out that since you told him about this in advance, he should be the one figuring it out. And if he doesn't, then you'll book at hotel for the night before so he can't just head off to work. if he wants you to do him a favour and sort out his emergency childcare problem then you expect his attitude to be much better. Failing that, sign up for the childcare service and point out that they all are crb checked and trained so are more safe around children then sit you or him.

KatharinaRosalie Sat 11-Mar-17 20:26:03

He was supposed to be off - therefore it's actually HIS job to find childcare, if it has now turned out that he can't be there. I'm pretty sure he didn't even ask for time off and has not asked anybody to swap. He just doesn't like you doing anything for yourself.

Patriciathestripper1 Sat 11-Mar-17 20:28:33

He's an insecure twat if he has a history of this he obviously can't stand you doing something you enjoy.
Bide your time because he will probably have something he enjoys and just make sure you fuck it up for him.

Astro55 Sat 11-Mar-17 20:30:37

Yep - tell him you ARE going and that he's left the kids without any childcare AT ALL and if your mum and sister aren't good enough then he needs to find an alternative.

IamFriedSpam Sat 11-Mar-17 20:32:20

It doesn't sound like he's not bothered it sounds like he's going out of his way to stop you going. Your sister looking after your children for the day is a nice bonding opportunity with their auntie (assuming she isn't a convicted child sex offender).

Softkitty2 Sat 11-Mar-17 20:34:13

He doesnt want you to go and is trying to control you. Tell him he is being an asshole.

Wolfiefan Sat 11-Mar-17 20:35:41

He doesn't want you to go. He's being an arse.

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