About my husbands moody behaviour(7 Posts)
A bit of back ground first. My husband has a history of mood swings with me and when he is feeling uptight about something I seem to bear the brunt of it at home like all the huffing and puffing, criticising etc. I'm currently 11 weeks pregnant with dc4 (4th section) and lost my mom 9months ago so am feeling very raw to be honest.
When my mom first died he was supportive but now he is back to normal. When he is nice everything is fine but today for instance I feel very upset.
He came home from work an hour earlier than expected and I saw him pull onto the drive but I was changing my youngest snappy so couldn't get to the door to take my key out so he could use his key to get in if that makes sense. We are not even talking 5 minutes he was waiting so that was the start with him saying why didn't you take the key out so I could get in? I said I didn't expect you this early and I was changing toddler. Anyway he storms into garage to go and was his car for an hour and a half slamming the door behind him!
He came back in 10 minutes before we were due to pick the others up from school. We were meant to be going out after school (kids didn't know so wouldn't have been disappointed) but I said I wasn't going as was not happy with the atmosphere. He said fine and slammed door locking it after him with my key. I shouted to him that I was locked in so he unlocked it and threw keys up hall and slammed door again.
I haven't spoken to him all day and at bed time he was making an issue about the kids going to bed, I wish sometimes he would just take them but I never get a break from doing bedtime and I'm exhausted and feel very sick at night. I do bedtime a couple of times a week on my own when he is working late. Anyway he said I do nothing in the house and all I do is stand there doing nothing.
Today I took my kids to school, youngest to nursery for a couple of hours and then went for a meeting at my sons school, come back to clean children's playroom vacuum and mop floor and clean big storage unit from top to bottom and refilled it with their toys. I also did laundry, drying and putting away. I didn't feel like cooking due to nausea so had a chip shop tea. I have been up since 6.
I feel very low in myself at the moment and missing my mom. I actually wonder if I have depression or something and feel numb. I very much want the baby but I'm not sure I want my husband any more but I'm scared to leave as I have no one else at all. I don't have any family left and I don't really have friends. It's like he is not even thinking how I'm feeling referring my mom, it's not even been a year I'm not saying that's an excuse for me to be horrible to him but I don't think I have but I have just closed up to him as I'm so fed up of how he is, it's like walking on egg shells not knowing what mood he is going to be in.
I have a house inherited from my parents that we are living in but I need to change the house deeds and I don't want to add his name but unsure where to start, he has also accused he of hiding my moms money as I have it in a separate account as I don't want it touched. It's like he doesn't respect what I say or think.
I'm on my phone so I apologise if any typos or poor paragraphs and for rambling, it's how it's coming out of my head and I need to get it out. I'm also very tired now so will probably fall asleep but I would love to read any replies tomorrow.
Hold firm and get a solicitor to go through your options.
Oh poor you. The key thing was a bit unfortunate but sounds like he acted ridiculously. I do think with bereavement the bereaved person feels low for years and while others are sympathetic at first, they forget very quickly and move on while you are left with it. As regards the house and your mum's money - as you inherited them while you were married I'm afraid they count as joint marital assets whether you put them in your sole name or both. The fact that you don't want to put the home you live in in your joint names is indicative of how you feel about him though. Very sorry. Hope you get some sleep.
Do not add his name to any accounts or deeds.
It's not a problem to have a chippy tea due to being tired, the key in the door is annoying for those who can't get in (done it a million times myself, and been on the receiving end a million times), it's just a simple mistake.
TBH if you feel sick I would be tempted to just go to bed with a bucket the second he gets in and leave him to sort the kids, he's not being fair to you at all.
Thanks for your replies. Some days he tells me to take it easy as I have had a couple of instances where I have had quite a bit of brown discharge which worried me. Then I get things thrown in my face that I'm lazy and I know I'm not. I'm a SAHM and yes things have slowed down slightly since being pregnant as I feel I have so little energy and feel so sick. I also have social anxiety so this feeling sick is a big deal to me as one of my fears is being sick in public and with the school run that is on my mind every day. Really do need to go to sleep but things are going around in my head.
First your GP, then a solicitor. I am sympathetic really .
It's true that the marital assets will be treated as both yours and his in the event of a divorce. However, if you have residency of the children you can argue (as my solicitor did for me) in court that you should have the greater share (I got 3 quarters of the marital assets). Get a good solicitor though.
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