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To think it is usually always rude to comment on someone's weight?

(77 Posts)
lottieandmia Fri 10-Mar-17 21:06:53

I think it's rude to comment on someone's weight. And I think that when a man does it it's a deliberate 'neg' pick up artist type thing.

Maybe if someone's openly going to weight watchers then it's ok to say 'ooh you look slim' but it's not ok to say someone looks too thin or they've out weight on.

AIBU?

lottieandmia Fri 10-Mar-17 21:11:42

Put*

redexpat Fri 10-Mar-17 21:11:58

Nope.

ArmySal Fri 10-Mar-17 21:12:31

No you're not.

ArchNotImpudent Fri 10-Mar-17 21:15:51

YANBU - unless they've expressly said they're trying to lose weight, in which case saying they look slimmer would be well-received and motivating.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Fri 10-Mar-17 21:16:58

Never ever comment on someone else's body whether positively or negatively.

To the opposite sex, doubly so. It's weird.

The one that makes me crazy is women who love to "compliment" others on weight loss. Like "oooh, have you lost weight", "oooh, you are looking lovely and slim" Oh fuck off, how dare you. I'm just wearing a better fitting top. Or maybe I have lost a bit of weight. But fuck off dear, don't lay your misogynistic body hang ups about women's body shape on me. And keep your judgements to yourself.

Say I've got nice shoes if you want to be complimentary. Judging my body is not nice.

PolkadotPony Fri 10-Mar-17 21:17:55

YANBU

I hate it when people tell me I'm 'too skinny'. It's rude.

RiverdaleJughead Fri 10-Mar-17 21:19:55

People at work always commenting on how much I eat and stay so slim ... yeah I'm having my tea at work because I'm serving you lot instead of being at home. And they think it's a positive cos they say I'm still slim but it just makes me self conscious to eat !

NavyandWhite Fri 10-Mar-17 21:20:17

Depends who it is. I could discuss my friends weight/gain loss as they could mine.

BanginChoons Fri 10-Mar-17 21:21:31

Yanbu.

SerialReJoiner Fri 10-Mar-17 21:21:41

I lost a lot of weight 18 months ago. I know people were trying to be nice, but I felt very embarrassed when I received comments. I got a lot of them, on a regular basis. I didn't get angry at people about it or anything, but it was a relief when we moved house and met people who never knew me at my heavier weight.

As a rule, I never mention a person's weight. It's a minefield.

triskele Fri 10-Mar-17 21:22:09

Only if I know they're trying to lose weight.

FiveMinutesAlone Fri 10-Mar-17 21:25:59

I agree as a general rule (exempting things like doctor - patient consultations where weight is medically relevant).

Although I did comment on a friend's weight loss, but as they'd recently posted a photo of some slimming world "Well done for losing x stone" type certificate on FB, I figured they'd be more put out by me not mentioning it.

GladysKnight Fri 10-Mar-17 21:26:09

I agree, YANBU. When someone has lost weight it can be because of a breakup or other highly stressful episode, or serious illness. I try to stick to 'I like that shirt' or 'your hair looks nice' .

I get this a bit and it annoys me. I don't like to think people are thinking about my body shape. I know they probably are, but yeah, bad manners to say anything. Although very common and 'normal'; I think it's good to be aware though, and try not to do it.

JenniferYellowHat1980 Fri 10-Mar-17 21:28:21

YANBU, can't bear it. Certain family members will comment that I've lost weight (I haven't and I'm not trying to) or look me up and down and say nothing. Either sets my teeth on edge. Stop appraising my body. I'm not fucking livestock.

BathshebaDarkstone Fri 10-Mar-17 21:29:55

People kept telling me I'd lost weight. I was trying to put it on.

WinterRose92 Fri 10-Mar-17 21:40:46

I hate people commenting on weight. I've had times where I've lost and put on weight. Not nice when someone comments on you putting on weight and I get equally embarrassed if someone comments on my weight loss. I had a baby 12 weeks ago and my Nan has tried to ask me twice what my weight is, have I lost the baby weight yet? None of her business! She then said I look like I've lost the baby weight and that my stomach looks flat but I just felt awkward. To be honest, I haven't weighed myself but I am aware that my body has changed and I do feel a little self conscious at times. I've always carried a little extra weight, but most of the time I feel okay with how I look.
YANBU. I understand some people think it's a nice compliment to comment on weight loss, and for some it might spur people on with diets, they might like it, but I generally just compliment people on something else, clothes, shoes, hair, etc.

lottieandmia Fri 10-Mar-17 21:49:54

It just makes me feel self conscious as though I'm being judged all the time.

Nelllo Fri 10-Mar-17 21:54:44

YANBU. It's never ok unless it's your bestie and they are looking fab and need to hear about it.

joeythenutter Fri 10-Mar-17 22:02:28

A woman who I'd only met twice said to me "there's not a pick on you".
I wanted to reply "well there's too many picks on you" as she was obese, but didn't stoop to her level.

I'm slim but certainly not skinny.

Why do people think that telling someone they are slim/skinny is not rude but telling a fat person they are fat, is?

kiwigeekmum Fri 10-Mar-17 23:56:27

YANBU.

It's weird and (I think) inappropriate to comment on someone else's body without invitation.

I used to lap up the "You've lost weight" comments when I was younger, but now even positive comments make me uncomfortable. Like, we're somehow better people and more worthy of praise if we've lost weight?? How misogynistic.

I would only comment if someone was openly discussing it, for example a friend recently shared on fb that she'd reached her goal weight. My comment was "Well done on your hard work and reaching your goal". Nothing to do with her actual weight, but simply that she'd set a goal and reached it and I'm pleased for her.

Babyiwantabump Sat 11-Mar-17 01:18:50

YANBU I find it really strange that people seem to think it's ok to comment on weight loss/gain - especially after you've had a baby.

My family and PIL seem obsessed about my weight. I am not! I am still breastfeeding and am not going to restrict my diet just to make them happier!

What's worse is I'm not that much bigger than before the last two DC and they are all significantly larger than I am anyway!

MIL especially seems to want to tell me about the latest slimming world meal she had found in Iceland and how I should "really try it - you know it might help me loose that baby weight"

Oh do fuck off dear.

Sorry went off on a bit of a rant there but it really boils my piss!

KoalaDownUnder Sat 11-Mar-17 01:28:44

YANBU!

I hate it with a passion.

KoalaDownUnder Sat 11-Mar-17 01:32:14

Even if they're saying it approvingly, it's the implication that their opinion of my body should somehow matter to me. Like, wtf?!

HelenaDove Sat 11-Mar-17 01:38:28

Yep. Theres nothing like losing weight to have ppl lining up to tell you how crap you looked before.

Im a size 14 down from a 28. Before i suspected ppl were judging me and looking down on me for being bigger.

Afterwards i KNEW they were.

Its left me with a bit of a paranoid fear of weight gain to the point that i WILL refuse certain medications if the need should ever arise.

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