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What can I do about this asshole?

(12 Posts)
Reddress89 Fri 10-Mar-17 20:01:50

I work in an office, general admin duties.... pretty boring really but it pays the bills and its not the most painful job in the world. Anyway I'm quite good friends with a lot of my colleagues and we do tend to socialise outside of work.

Recently one of the blokes (mid 30s) got a promotion to "team leader" which doesn't mean he's a manager just means he is trusted to be left in charge of the office and to delegate work to others.

He's had a massive power trip since his promotion and basically thinks he's king of the business. He talks to people like shit, demands them to pretty much his job for him, has a completely dark sense of humor (I also do, but I am aware who I can share my jokes with and who I cannot and I know where the line is) and he does not give a f*ck about what he says in front of people. E.g - I work with a guy who is jewish and this colleague ALWAYS makes sick jokes about the holocaust around him?!

Lately He's started spreading rumours about others in the office too, like one of the blokes I work closely with let's call him Kevin.... I am very friendly with Kevin and his OH, but this guy has started telling people that he's shagging another woman in the office because they go for lunch occasionally together! Its only a matter of time before his OH finds out and goes crazy.

He manages to do all of this on the sly without any of the bosses seeing so it's hard to capture any sort of evidence. We have all spoken as a team and decided it's time to talk to our bosses about it, but seriously, it's starting to get beyond ridiculous. AIBU reporting him? Does it make me look like a massive asshole? He makes all of us so angry and uncomfortable. At the same time I don't want him to lose his job because I know he's had a troubled past and it may lead him on a downhill slope if he gets sacked. WWYD?

Birdsgottaf1y Fri 10-Mar-17 20:29:57

If your going to speak to your bosses about this, why do you need to do anything else?

StrawberryShortcake32 Fri 10-Mar-17 20:31:47

Whatever the consequences it doesn't excuse the way he's behaving. Is there any way a few of you could ask him for a drink after work and explain how his actions are causing a rift? He may realise he's he's being a nob. If not then go to his boss.

triskele Fri 10-Mar-17 20:48:00

He lost any empathy I may have had for him when you said he makes holocaust jokes around the Jewish guy.

Out of order.

Reddress89 Fri 10-Mar-17 20:53:10

The reason I posted was to get a second opinion because we were going to talk to our bosses anyway about the whole abusing his power thing, which at worst would cause him to be demoted. But the thing I need help on is to know if I should mention the sick jokes/spreading rumours thing as that's grounds for dismissal straight away at my place. Its a good work place and they do not under any circumstances tolerate malicious behaviour or predjudice. Its immediate sack. No second chances.

Derlei Fri 10-Mar-17 20:54:34

He's had a "troubled past" ? - I'm sure it's not as troubled as the 6million Jews that suffered during the holocaust, the same suffering he's now making jokes about. Report the twat

RunRabbitRunRabbit Fri 10-Mar-17 21:06:43

It is sad for him that he has been 'troubled' in the past. But why would that mean he can't be pulled up on making everyone else feel troubled? He should be extra sensitive to people's MH issues if he knows what it feels like.

I bet Kevin will feel pretty fucking troubled when his relationship is rocked by him being accused of cheating. I wonder how troubled your Jewish colleague feels? I'd be pretty troubled if my colleagues rated the bully's potential future feelings over my actual day to day feelings in the face of repeated racism.

Tell the boss. If you don't that's the same as condoning the behaviour.

redexpat Fri 10-Mar-17 21:16:32

You need to give them concrete examples of inappropriate stuff he has done. Write down as much as you can remember, as factually as you can. Time, date, what was said by whom, who was there. If you all do this it will be harder for them to dismiss it.

estya Fri 10-Mar-17 23:02:42

The fact that he does it out of earshot of his bosses shows he knows he's out of order, but he (arrogantly) thinks he can do what he wants when it's just the office team around.
It doesn't cease to be evidence if it's not heard by a boss. Write it down. give details, times, locations, witnesses and pass it to them.
This guy seems like a nasty piece of work.

user1489189598 Sat 11-Mar-17 00:20:47

evidence, evidence, evidence. Include EVERYTHING (incl the things you're worried about).
Incident, date, time and who witnessed.

Make it a spreadsheet. The more incidents the better (because the minor ones have more weight when there's loads of them).

If you don't have actual evidence, then compile it before you steam in.

Once you've got a dozen or so, THEN take it mob-handed to management.

Good luck!

38cody Sat 11-Mar-17 00:32:27

You need to get together and write a list of factual grievances - not just opinions and then all sign the complaint. It should be quite simple so long as you stick to the facts, but yes, mention the anti Semitic comments and the damaging gossip.

ExplodedCloud Sat 11-Mar-17 00:42:57

I'm not Jewish. Jokes about the holocaust are beyond the realms of acceptability. You'd need to demonstrate a 2nd generation relationship for it to even be debateable.
If the whole office stands together, could you do a round robin in the original sense? A letter signed by you all in a circle so nobody is the prime signatory.

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