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To think this is odd

(104 Posts)
User500 Thu 09-Mar-17 21:51:19

I've posted about this before but these been futher developments. Dd had been sharing a tutor with a very overbearing girl who the time she interrupted said that he took it as a given that if a student needed him while he was with another student that he would talk to them. When something had happened with my dd though he told her I can't just drop everything I've got other stuff to do when he was with this girl. Dd had been arguing with him a lot at that time. When told he wouldn't be able to keep both students he said I won't choose between them despite him having my dd first. He's now taking the other girl out weekly and ignoring my dd. Surely there is something odd going on between the two? The girl has described him as her kidred sprit and boasted to my dd he likes her more. Surely this is a safeguarding issue

Jenniferb21 Thu 09-Mar-17 21:53:26

I think it's quite important to let us know their ages? But it's very hard to say would a gentle work with the other girl's mother put your mind at rest?

User500 Thu 09-Mar-17 21:54:30

Both are adults at Sen college. Don't really want to say exact ages.

User500 Thu 09-Mar-17 21:55:26

I don't have contact with the girls mother

NoraDora Thu 09-Mar-17 21:58:28

You are like a dog with a bone over this.

Report any concerns to the college.

Stop posting tenuous situations on Mumsnet that you obviously don't have full details about.

User500 Thu 09-Mar-17 21:59:33

Because the college don't seem to view it as a safe guarding concern when it clearly is and its impacted on my child..

What is it that makes you think it's a safeguarding issue?

PatriciaHolm Thu 09-Mar-17 22:03:15

This thread ran and ran last time.

The advice was the same as you'll get now - you have no way of knowing the other student's full circumstances, and you need to talk to the college if you have concerns.

NoraDora Thu 09-Mar-17 22:04:06

So if the college are happy, why aren't you?

Nothing you've said concerns me. It sounds like you are a jealous person and these values have been instilled on your child.

Jenniferb21 Thu 09-Mar-17 22:04:59

If they're at college I wouldn't be concerned no. If they are adults they are surely able to judge the situation themselves I wouldn't use the term safeguarding really.

If anything he may be being unprofessional and in worse case scenarios tutors can be found to be absuing their positions of authority but based on these facts you know id say it all sounds pretty innocent to me and nothing to worry too much about.

user500 Thu 09-Mar-17 22:06:29

Nora why would I be jealous?

user500 Thu 09-Mar-17 22:07:07

I just don't like my daughter being made to think she's in the wrong

April229 Thu 09-Mar-17 22:32:49

How can we possibly judge without ages?

rollonthesummer Thu 09-Mar-17 22:37:35

I've seen your posts before--this is a very strange situation. It sounds like the two girls are desperately vying for this mans attention. Is he a teacher?

Tartyflette Thu 09-Mar-17 22:37:45

Your daughter is an adult, if she has a complaint about her tutor sidelining her and favouring another student, it's up to her to complain to the college authorities.
Colleges don't have any involvement with the parents of adult students. (That could be a privacy issue -- their contract, for want of a better word, is with the student, not the parents)

MadMags Thu 09-Mar-17 22:51:24

Why do you keep posting this? And why have you namechanged to the same name, minus the capital U?confused

lovetonamechange Thu 09-Mar-17 23:02:01

Have you spoken
To the college since last time you posted about this?

lovetonamechange Thu 09-Mar-17 23:02:49

@Madmogs they probably name changed then spelt it wrong when changing Bach??

DonkeyOaty Thu 09-Mar-17 23:05:31

Hello. Could you link to your previous thread please? Thank you.

MadMags Thu 09-Mar-17 23:06:50

love just odd to name change on this thread!

Megatherium Thu 09-Mar-17 23:07:02

Are people missing the fact that this is an SEN college? Depending on the nature and extent of the SEN, it may not be correct to say either that the students concerned can judge the situation for themselves, or that the college will have no involvement with parents.

PurpleDaisies Thu 09-Mar-17 23:12:39

When you say the college don't see it as a safeguarding issue, what have they actually said and in what format? Did you formally report your concerns? Have they responded officially to them?

attheendoftheday Thu 09-Mar-17 23:46:42

This seems a very familiar story.

I think your time and attention would be better spent encouraging your daughter to form a positive relationship with her new tutor rather than stewing over this.

No, it doesn't sound like a safeguarding concern to me.

Trifleorbust Fri 10-Mar-17 06:15:53

It clearly isn't an issue for the college. From a safeguarding point of view your daughter is perfectly safe. You have raised your concern and no-one else thinks there is an issue re. the other student. Let it go.

Tobuyornot99 Fri 10-Mar-17 06:30:18

So the tutor chose, or had chosen for him, that he would keep the other woman and not tour daughter. He couldn't keep them both as they couldn't get on.he now takes out the young woman he is allocated to work with, and doesn't take out your daughter, who he is not allocated to work with. How on earth is that a safeguarding cocnern!?!?
If he did indeed have a choice in which young woman to continue working with, then I main your ridiculous attitude to this situation influenced his decision, and led to him chosen the client without the over involved, very odd mother.
Hope that helps.

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