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To think that if someone introduces themselves as "CertainName"...

(26 Posts)
PageNowFoundFileUnderSpartacus Thu 09-Mar-17 19:42:22

...you call them "CertainName" and not "Cert"?

I have a name that has a popular shortening - think along the lines of Joanne/Jo. I never use the short form and always introduce myself, sign off emails etc with the full version of my name. I have a colleague who invariably uses the shortening and has done since they started here despite me saying quite early on that I prefer the full version. Then today my DH had a meeting with a disability advisor. I'm his advocate so I'm the one who set up the meeting via email - signing myself CertainName as usual and I accompanied him. Despite my DH introducing me as CertainName the advisor immediately started referring to and calling me Cert. Raaargh!

AIBU to think it's a bit rude to ignore the name someone clearly prefers and assume - without asking - that you can call them by a different name?

Trifleorbust Thu 09-Mar-17 19:48:18

Call them all Junior.

44PumpLane Thu 09-Mar-17 19:50:39

YANBU, it's rude and overfamiliar to decide you are going to shorten someone's name. People typically introduce themselves in the manner they wish to be addressed.
In my mind it's akin to introducing yourself as Sarah and then the other person insisting upon calling you Deidre- it's just not the same name is it!

PetalMettle Thu 09-Mar-17 19:51:00

No yanbu. I get shortened - think Katherine to Kathy - and it drives me up the wall

44PumpLane Thu 09-Mar-17 19:53:29

If people try to refer to me by a shortened version of my name they get short shrift. I very quickly tell them "no, my name is x" and if they refer to me as that again they will be ignored or corrected.

SandyDenny Thu 09-Mar-17 19:55:20

I get that too, if people ask me I always say I don't mind which name they use but I never call myself Cert, I was thinking about this just the other day as someone I've newly started to work with called me Cert from the start. She herself has a long name that she abbreviates so I suppose she assumes other people don't mind

Changingagain Thu 09-Mar-17 19:55:24

I've got a new colleague who decided to try and call me by my initials. He calls all the men sir.

harderandharder2breathe Thu 09-Mar-17 19:56:44

My parents deliberately chose a name for me that had no natural shortening. When I was a teen I was (similar to) Kez for Kerry and in my current city I get Ker. Never introduced myself as either and really don't like the nasal sound of Ker. I think it's a regional thing.

But yes it's rude to call someone Jo if they always call themselves Joanne. But it is hard especially if it's a popular name, there's a David at work that I always have to make a conscious effort not to call Dave. But I suppose the point is I DO make the effort to use his chosen name and if I call him Dave I usually apologise and correct myself.

Autumnchill Thu 09-Mar-17 19:59:29

Completely agree! We have a girl on site who always signs off Victoria so I would never shorten her name to Vicky

CigarsofthePharoahs Thu 09-Mar-17 20:00:25

Someone insisted on shortening my name. Really annoyed me as my name isn't a name that is shortened. I ignored it after a while.
My DH prefers his name in the longer form, though he neglected to tell me this for some time! He says that whilst its quicker to write in the contracted form, both full name and contraction both have two syllables, so why people couldn't just use the version he preferred he has no idea.
He has given up to the inevitability of it now.

CigarsofthePharoahs Thu 09-Mar-17 20:00:52

YANBU by the way!

Euphemia Thu 09-Mar-17 20:01:36

I'd just correct them.

I sometimes get called by names beginning with the same letter as mine e.g. Jenny or Jessica when it's Joanna, but if they use the wrong one I'll just say "Joanna", and nothing more.

tinytemper66 Thu 09-Mar-17 20:03:01

My name gets elongated with an i added on the end. Doesn`t bother me. I actually like it as it is the people closest to me in work that do it.

AlmaMartyr Thu 09-Mar-17 20:03:01

YANBU, I hate this. People always shorten mine without checking.

PageNowFoundFileUnderSpartacus Thu 09-Mar-17 20:07:33

I knew I wasn't BU grin

I might starting calling my colleague Gertrude or Demelza or something instead. Or a different name every time perhaps <heads off to Baby Names for inspiration>

harderandharder2breathe Thu 09-Mar-17 20:09:51

Use their initial. Shorten their name right back!

AlexanderHamilton Thu 09-Mar-17 20:10:11

This annoys my mum so much. She is Susan but lots of people seem to automatically call her Sue. She hates it.

geordiedench Thu 09-Mar-17 20:10:29

Just shorten their name when you reply, every time they do it to you. It'll stop them.

geordiedench Thu 09-Mar-17 20:11:03

Crossed with harder

MooMooKerchu Thu 09-Mar-17 20:17:24

OMG this annoys the hell out of me.

I have a long name that can be shortened but I'm not known by short name. I sign off all emails etc with my full name yet people still reply with the shortened version.

It wouldn't be acceptable for me to call (not close) colleagues Martin, Mart or Justin, Just or Aileen, Ail - so why do it to me?!?!?

Allthebestnamesareused Thu 09-Mar-17 20:17:58

Every time they call you the wrong name correct them. If they introduce you as short name say to the other person CertainName not cert! They should eventually get the message. If they call you hey Cert - ignore until they use Certain name

EccentricPickle Thu 09-Mar-17 20:40:23

This winds me up too. I thought I was being irrational - obviously not! grin

I'm similar to you, Harder. My parents called me an unshortenable name but I get Kez too - (well, I'm not Kerry or Kez either but similar).

DD1 is Isabel and hates Izzy, never introduces herself as Izzy and none of her friends call her Izzy either, yet a couple of adults I know started calling her Izzy. It annoys me - I never introduced her as Izzy, where did they get it from? I don't call her it either confused. I actually really like it but she's just not Izzy. <<Stamps foot>> grin

parmavioletmartini Thu 09-Mar-17 20:49:35

YANBU I hate this. People sometimes do this to me and it gives me the absolute RAGE. My name is quite short anyway think Megan shortened to Megsy elchhh why? Just why?

lurkymclurkerson Thu 09-Mar-17 20:54:37

I get the opposite - I have a perfectly normal name which is two syllables. There is a longer name which is similar in sound but not related in any way (you wouldn't shorten it to my name) and people still call me the longer, unrelated version. Even if they've typed in my email address, which has my actual name in it!

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 Thu 09-Mar-17 20:58:06

I also get the opposite! Winds me right up.

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