Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

AIBU?

To flag up new guy at work's behaviour

25 replies

ThunderClouds · 09/03/2017 17:22

Sorry very long post!

I work in a small team with a senior manager, junior colleague and one grade-equivalent colleague who is new. We are part of a bigger team.

Last week, junior and senior colleagues were at a different office. I inducted the new guy. I had some immediate concerns about his behaviour.

He seems bright and able to do the work but was rude, arrogant, patronising, occasionally aggressive (not in a threatening or violent way), disobeyed some instructions and argued against a security measure. Others mentioned his rudeness to me too.

I thought this may be nerves at first but I made an effort to be welcoming and he did not change noticeably as the week continued.

When my colleagues returned, I raised to my manager the behaviour with examples (not a formal complaint) and on his advice I had a chat with junior colleague to say she should keep an open mind when she met him but to report any inappropriate behaviour, with a wider message that any bullying would not be accepted. New chap was not in the office so they had not met him.

My main concern was that new guy and junior colleague would be the only ones in the team for 2 weeks due to leave and that his behaviour might affect her confidence.
Also we have a great team dynamic and I don't want it undermined by shitty behaviour.

Manager was very clear that his sort of behaviour could amount to bullying and that he would step in immediately if we reported anything further.

I now feel I may have been unreasonable to put a black mark next to his name when the others hadn't properly met him. If not going on leave I would have left it longer to see if he settled. I asked both to keep it confidential but worry I should not have spoken up so early on.

OP posts:

Report

SansComic · 09/03/2017 17:34

You began acting unprofessionally at the point you suggested "keep an open mind when she met him but to report any inappropriate behaviour".

How can she keep an open mind with an introduction like this.

You fell well short of anything I'd expect from my junior managers. You marked an individual out right from the beginning. You encouraged a junior to keep an eye on his behaviour, suggesting it may fall short of the mark and seem to have already decided that you don't want them on your small team.

Your manager seems to understand the situation. You need to reflect on how you should have behaved, make your manager aware that you understand you behaved inappropriately and make a real effort to give this newcomer a fair run.

Sweets101 · 09/03/2017 17:37

Oh, i think you handled it the situation well.

FourToTheFloor · 09/03/2017 17:41

Ffs San yes let's give the bully even more benefit of doubt. OP you handled it well. You raised the concern with your manager and let your colleague know not to take any of his bs.

Astro55 · 09/03/2017 17:44

You weren't the only one to notice an issue - it was right you had a word! It was good that you are supporting a college IF things don't improve.
I wouldn't worry you did your bit.

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/03/2017 17:50

ThunderClouds

Ffs San yes let's give the bully even more benefit of doubt

this response from FourToTheFloor is why you were wrong to speak to the junior the way that you did.

He has already been labelled a bad un.

Bringing it up with management was good though.

WellErrr · 09/03/2017 17:50

I think you handled it right too.

SansComic · 09/03/2017 17:50

What led you to describe him as a bully four?

It seems to me that the OP has acted in a bullying manner, taking advantage of her position to treat a junior unfairly.

Her manager clearly agrees that she hasn't acted well.

ArchNotImpudent · 09/03/2017 18:03

I think you were right to raise it with your manager, but wrong to speak to a junior colleague about what is essentially a performance issue relating to a more senior colleague.

You're right to be concerned about the two week leave period - would it have been possible to ask another manager at your level or above to keep an eye on the situation in your absence?

You could have asked the junior colleague more generally in a one-to-one situation about how well she feels the team works together, and let any complaints about the new starter come from her unprompted.

OrangeJulius · 09/03/2017 18:05

Sans I think you've misread, management thinks the new guy's behaviour could be bullying and will step in if any further problems are reported.

SansComic · 09/03/2017 18:11

Manager was very clear that his sort of behaviour could amount to bullying and that he would step in immediately if we reported anything further.

Maybe I did Orange. Did I?

I still stand by my belief that as opposed to a manager (the OP) earning their job title. they acted inappropriately, unprofessionally and in a way that I'd have certainly taken this to a formal warning.

The biased involvement of a junior is the let-down here. The OP's opinion is fine but she has a position of seniority and with the money and power comes responsibility. One she failed.

RB68 · 09/03/2017 18:12

and the new person is equivalent to OP

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 09/03/2017 18:20

When my colleagues returned, I raised to my manager the behaviour with examples (not a formal complaint) and on his advice I had a chat with junior colleague

Seems like OP was following her manager's advice.

ThunderClouds · 09/03/2017 18:35

I meant that the manager would step in to act if any inappropriate behaviour from the new guy was reported (or anyone else tbh). Not to step in against me for bullying him!!

The new guy is my equivalent and the manager suggested I speak to my junior colleague. She is quite new also and I'm not sure would've otherwise felt confident to speak up if anything does happen. I did not describe examples of his behaviour to her or be personal. I have no agenda to keep the new guy from the team. He may turn out to be fine and I certainly hope so.

There isn't really another equivalent person to observe him.

OP posts:

BrownEyedLady · 09/03/2017 18:58

I think given the circumstances (more than one complaint, not following security and other instructions, imminent two weeks leave and no one around to monitor the situation) you did the right thing. What else could you have done? I would be tempted to get another manager to check in with them during the two weeks though in case anything needs nipping in the bud. Or I'd be phoning and checking in myself if I was their manager.

Willow2017 · 09/03/2017 19:02

Sans you seem to be reading the ops post back to front!

Astoria7974 · 09/03/2017 19:08

He's new and probably experienced but at a different company. What you perceive as arrogance might be something else entirely - You don't know him well enough yet. I think you did jump the gun warning your junior colleague before she'd even met him- where I work that would put you on the radar for discriminatory/bullying behaviour.

Sweets101 · 09/03/2017 19:11

Sans you seem to be reading the ops post back to front!
This^^
You seem to be replying to a different scenario then the one OP has described

Sweets101 · 09/03/2017 19:13

I think you did jump the gun warning your junior colleague before she'd even met him- where I work that would put you on the radar for discriminatory/bullying behaviour.

Presumably not if advised to by management though?
It wasn’t gossip.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 09/03/2017 19:44

I think it was right to raise it with you manager but not with other staff members. Give the new person a chance to find his feet.

Man10 · 09/03/2017 19:49

The only person the OP was responsible for telling was her manager. The other conversation was her manager's idea.

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/03/2017 20:15

Man10

The OP was responsible for how she phrased what she told the junior.

It also bothers me that someone who is of an equal level is in the OP's eyes "disobeying" her instructions.

I get the feeling that there is more than just "his attitude" going on.

Chloe84 · 09/03/2017 20:34

SansComic why is the manager right but OP wrong, even though OP did what he asked her to do?

Astoria7974 · 09/03/2017 20:38

Manager wasn't right either. If he genuinely wanted to take action he should have taken on your fb and told the guy about it informally.

ThunderClouds · 09/03/2017 20:51

Boney, I don't want to give details but I wouldn't be regularly giving him instructions, was acting up at the time.

OP posts:

arlene123 · 09/03/2017 21:11

I feel that the OP has made the correct choices in this situation. It would be such a shame if the junior felt undermined by the new guys behaviour whilst there wasn't anyone else to bounce it off. If the junior is feeling that his behaviour is off, then she doesn't need to spend time worrying about it until everyone returns and in keeping an open mind if his behaviour is fine then no harm, no foul.

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.