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To flag up new guy at work's behaviour

(26 Posts)
ThunderClouds Thu 09-Mar-17 17:22:55

Sorry very long post!

I work in a small team with a senior manager, junior colleague and one grade-equivalent colleague who is new. We are part of a bigger team.

Last week, junior and senior colleagues were at a different office. I inducted the new guy. I had some immediate concerns about his behaviour.

He seems bright and able to do the work but was rude, arrogant, patronising, occasionally aggressive (not in a threatening or violent way), disobeyed some instructions and argued against a security measure. Others mentioned his rudeness to me too.

I thought this may be nerves at first but I made an effort to be welcoming and he did not change noticeably as the week continued.

When my colleagues returned, I raised to my manager the behaviour with examples (not a formal complaint) and on his advice I had a chat with junior colleague to say she should keep an open mind when she met him but to report any inappropriate behaviour, with a wider message that any bullying would not be accepted. New chap was not in the office so they had not met him.

My main concern was that new guy and junior colleague would be the only ones in the team for 2 weeks due to leave and that his behaviour might affect her confidence.
Also we have a great team dynamic and I don't want it undermined by shitty behaviour.

Manager was very clear that his sort of behaviour could amount to bullying and that he would step in immediately if we reported anything further.

I now feel I may have been unreasonable to put a black mark next to his name when the others hadn't properly met him. If not going on leave I would have left it longer to see if he settled. I asked both to keep it confidential but worry I should not have spoken up so early on.

SansComic Thu 09-Mar-17 17:34:36

You began acting unprofessionally at the point you suggested "keep an open mind when she met him but to report any inappropriate behaviour".

How can she keep an open mind with an introduction like this.

You fell well short of anything I'd expect from my junior managers. You marked an individual out right from the beginning. You encouraged a junior to keep an eye on his behaviour, suggesting it may fall short of the mark and seem to have already decided that you don't want them on your small team.

Your manager seems to understand the situation. You need to reflect on how you should have behaved, make your manager aware that you understand you behaved inappropriately and make a real effort to give this newcomer a fair run.

Sweets101 Thu 09-Mar-17 17:37:22

Oh, i think you handled it the situation well.

FourToTheFloor Thu 09-Mar-17 17:41:44

Ffs San yes let's give the bully even more benefit of doubt. OP you handled it well. You raised the concern with your manager and let your colleague know not to take any of his bs.

Astro55 Thu 09-Mar-17 17:44:49

You weren't the only one to notice an issue - it was right you had a word! It was good that you are supporting a college IF things don't improve.
I wouldn't worry you did your bit.

BoneyBackJefferson Thu 09-Mar-17 17:50:09

ThunderClouds

Ffs San yes let's give the bully even more benefit of doubt

this response from FourToTheFloor is why you were wrong to speak to the junior the way that you did.

He has already been labelled a bad un.

Bringing it up with management was good though.

WellErrr Thu 09-Mar-17 17:50:39

I think you handled it right too.

SansComic Thu 09-Mar-17 17:50:59

What led you to describe him as a bully four?

It seems to me that the OP has acted in a bullying manner, taking advantage of her position to treat a junior unfairly.

Her manager clearly agrees that she hasn't acted well.

ArchNotImpudent Thu 09-Mar-17 18:03:59

I think you were right to raise it with your manager, but wrong to speak to a junior colleague about what is essentially a performance issue relating to a more senior colleague.

You're right to be concerned about the two week leave period - would it have been possible to ask another manager at your level or above to keep an eye on the situation in your absence?

You could have asked the junior colleague more generally in a one-to-one situation about how well she feels the team works together, and let any complaints about the new starter come from her unprompted.

OrangeJulius Thu 09-Mar-17 18:05:19

Sans I think you've misread, management thinks the new guy's behaviour could be bullying and will step in if any further problems are reported.

SansComic Thu 09-Mar-17 18:11:11

Manager was very clear that his sort of behaviour could amount to bullying and that he would step in immediately if we reported anything further.

Maybe I did Orange. Did I?

I still stand by my belief that as opposed to a manager (the OP) earning their job title. they acted inappropriately, unprofessionally and in a way that I'd have certainly taken this to a formal warning.

The biased involvement of a junior is the let-down here. The OP's opinion is fine but she has a position of seniority and with the money and power comes responsibility. One she failed.

RB68 Thu 09-Mar-17 18:12:28

and the new person is equivalent to OP

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Thu 09-Mar-17 18:20:00

When my colleagues returned, I raised to my manager the behaviour with examples (not a formal complaint) and on his advice I had a chat with junior colleague

Seems like OP was following her manager's advice.

ThunderClouds Thu 09-Mar-17 18:35:36

I meant that the manager would step in to act if any inappropriate behaviour from the new guy was reported (or anyone else tbh). Not to step in against me for bullying him!!

The new guy is my equivalent and the manager suggested I speak to my junior colleague. She is quite new also and I'm not sure would've otherwise felt confident to speak up if anything does happen. I did not describe examples of his behaviour to her or be personal. I have no agenda to keep the new guy from the team. He may turn out to be fine and I certainly hope so.

There isn't really another equivalent person to observe him.

BrownEyedLady Thu 09-Mar-17 18:58:35

I think given the circumstances (more than one complaint, not following security and other instructions, imminent two weeks leave and no one around to monitor the situation) you did the right thing. What else could you have done? I would be tempted to get another manager to check in with them during the two weeks though in case anything needs nipping in the bud. Or I'd be phoning and checking in myself if I was their manager.

Willow2017 Thu 09-Mar-17 19:02:45

Sans you seem to be reading the ops post back to front!

Astoria7974 Thu 09-Mar-17 19:08:17

He's new and probably experienced but at a different company. What you perceive as arrogance might be something else entirely - You don't know him well enough yet. I think you did jump the gun warning your junior colleague before she'd even met him- where I work that would put you on the radar for discriminatory/bullying behaviour.

Sweets101 Thu 09-Mar-17 19:11:31

Sans you seem to be reading the ops post back to front!
This^^
You seem to be replying to a different scenario then the one OP has described

Sweets101 Thu 09-Mar-17 19:13:03

I think you did jump the gun warning your junior colleague before she'd even met him- where I work that would put you on the radar for discriminatory/bullying behaviour.

Presumably not if advised to by management though?
It wasn’t gossip.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain Thu 09-Mar-17 19:44:37

I think it was right to raise it with you manager but not with other staff members. Give the new person a chance to find his feet.

Man10 Thu 09-Mar-17 19:49:59

The only person the OP was responsible for telling was her manager. The other conversation was her manager's idea.

BoneyBackJefferson Thu 09-Mar-17 20:15:47

Man10

The OP was responsible for how she phrased what she told the junior.

It also bothers me that someone who is of an equal level is in the OP's eyes "disobeying" her instructions.

I get the feeling that there is more than just "his attitude" going on.

Chloe84 Thu 09-Mar-17 20:34:37

SansComic why is the manager right but OP wrong, even though OP did what he asked her to do?

Astoria7974 Thu 09-Mar-17 20:38:54

Manager wasn't right either. If he genuinely wanted to take action he should have taken on your fb and told the guy about it informally.

ThunderClouds Thu 09-Mar-17 20:51:56

Boney, I don't want to give details but I wouldn't be regularly giving him instructions, was acting up at the time.

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