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AIBU?

To say he needs to stay and get his black belt and then he can quit?

15 replies

NewYork2016 · 09/03/2017 11:58

DS is 14. He is currently training for his black belt (kick boxing). DD is 9 and does gymnastics. He used to and DD used to do kick boxing, but when they had to decide which one they trained more for, they had to quit one.

DS wants to completely leave kick boxing and join gymnastics. He has been inspired by some YouTube videos. I have told him that now he is getting older, it might be a little bit harder and that he will probably have to start off with young boys... He seems to have this very cocky attitude about how he's already strong so he won't need to, etc. he does have the very basics from when he was younger and although he is a very young 14 year old (looks wise) he'll probably need to relearn the basics.

IMO, I think he should wait and get his black belt. Then quit. I think that it will bug him for the rest of his life if he doesn't. Even right now, he tells his friends, etc. "I'm training for my black belt" and has this issue with saying he's a brown belt "because it doesn't sound as good" that's why I think he really should just continue until he gets it.

WIBU to say to him that he can do gymnastics as long as he just stays to get his black belt?

OP posts:

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pizzakat · 09/03/2017 12:00

I was in a similar position age 11 albeit with karate and was one off my black belt when I quit, really wish my Mum had pushed me to keep on and see it through until then so I would say YNBU.

FreshStart2017 · 09/03/2017 12:00

If you can afford it then I'd let him do gymnastics aswell as kickboxing. My DS (13) is working on his blackbelt for TKD and I don't think I'd let him just give up at this stage.

Noodoodle · 09/03/2017 12:01

Why on earth would it bug him for the rest of his life?

The flip flopping from one to another would annoy me but unless I was being inconvenienced by the changing I'd let him do whichever he wanted.

VimFuego101 · 09/03/2017 12:02

YANBU, but does he really have to quit one to do the other? It sounds like he's pretty dedicated and will knuckle down and train hard.

BarbarianMum · 09/03/2017 12:02

I'd be tempted to let him decide. If he regrets not getting his black belt he can do that later. I would however tell him he has to commit to gymnastics for a set period. It might also be wise to let him try a couple of sessions of gymnastics before he quits kick boxing

FlaviaAlbia · 09/03/2017 12:06

Is there any point getting a black belt then quitting and not keeping up training? OK, he'll have got a back belt at some point but without maintaining it he'll lose his training and form?

EssentialHummus · 09/03/2017 12:07

Up to him. In karate it was seen as very bad form to get your black belt and then flounce, but not sure he will care.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 09/03/2017 12:07

I would suggest to him that he sticks in to getting his black bent and restarts gymnastics in the meantime. That will give him some time doing both to know for sure which direction he wants to go in.

Allthebestnamesareused · 09/03/2017 12:16

If you can afford to do both (at least for a while) do both.

As you say if he is put in with the little kids he may go completely off the idea and at least he will have kept up his karate.

Inkythemouse · 09/03/2017 12:19

Ds1 is 13 and has quit karate at brown belt. He just decided he'd had enough.
His instructor said to take a 6 month break then try again. Apparently a lot of kids get to this age and level then decide something else is more fun.

cinnamongirl1976 · 09/03/2017 12:35

I quit karate at brown belt when studying for the black belt exam. I was older, at 6th form. I do regret it.

cinnamongirl1976 · 09/03/2017 12:35

(that said, I think you have to let him decide, really)

NewYork2016 · 09/03/2017 13:16

It's not about being able to afford it. They clash, that's why they couldn't do both before.

OP posts:

SeaEagleFeather · 09/03/2017 13:25

How long before he can take the exam for black belt? if it's 4 months, then it'd be a shame to quit now. If it was 2 years then it's a different matter

onceandneveragain · 09/03/2017 14:02

Is there anywhere else he can go locally to do gymnastics if they clash? It might be a bit of a pain for a while but might be worth it for a few months until he gets the black belt.

I agree it would be a pity to stop when he's so close to getting it.

I would also be concerned that he might not want to stick with the gymnastics for long - as you say he will be less flexible as he gets older and it might be something he (sadly) gets a bit of banter over whereas kickboxing can be seen as cooler

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