Advanced search


(19 Posts)
cjt110 Thu 09-Mar-17 08:52:27

More of WWYD/AIBU...

My son is 2.5. Has been at his nursery since 6m of age. Diagnosed with a cows milk protein allergy at 11m. He cannot have any form of dairy. In the interim time between diagnosis and now we have had no slips ups at nursery (that I can recall). He has been mad ready for moving to preschool (they usually move them at 3 but he is ready).

We were verbally informed in Feb about this but received none of the usual transition paperwork and only realised his settling in sessions had begun because he was not in his usual room at collection. I raised that we hadnt had any paperwork and was told we had been given some. We had not. We didnt even know who our son's keyworker was going to be. My husband was greeted with "Who are you" when he went to collect our son in an abrupt offhand tone. He was also casually told "Oh by the way he's had a mouthful of cows milk" Cue an awful night but luckily nothing more than an upset stomach. The last time he had cows milk aged 11m we ended up in A&E resus with pulse of 200 beats a minute, temp of 39.4 and sats of 84% and were transferred on oxygen to another hospital.

I addressed the above with the nursery manager who apologised profusely - was not aware of the milk incident and could not understand why we hadn't been given any of the transition information as it is their procedure to do so. I was advised paperwork would be ready the next time our son was in nursery (He's only there 2 days a week) and I could meet his new keyworker.

So yesterday I met his new KW, stressed about his milk allergy and also he is not to have fish - he gets horrendous stomach ache if he has it so it is best to not give him any. She confirms she will ensure that this is followed.

Husband collects son to be told "Oh, we rang and left your wife a message - he accidentally had a mouthful of fish" I got no message. They have called my old mobile number which I updated with them around beginning of January.

Unsettled night with DS, awful nappies. Get into nursery this morning and am met by his keyworker who apologises for the incident yesterday, particularly as we had only discussed it that morning. I said I was not happy as he had had 2 days in the new room and 2 incidents already. I asked what had been put in place to stip this happening again. Their procedure was they would put out the meals, get the children to wash their hands and then get the children to find their places. They find their places by looking for their name on a laminated piece of card which also states if they cannot have something. My son is 2.5. He cannot recognise his name and so just got a spoonful of someone elses food. I was advised they will change their procedure to put out meals once the children are seated.

I inquired do they have any other children with allergies in that room to be told no, only vegetarians. I said if my child was vegetarian for cultural reasons, I would be equally cross if they had managed to get hold of something that they shouldnt have.

I have left it with them but also asked for the manager to call me after she arrives.

AIBU to do the above?

SalemSaberhagen Thu 09-Mar-17 08:56:08

Not at all. That is horrendously lax of them. They have no excuses, I would be fuming in your shoes.

Joolsy Thu 09-Mar-17 08:57:18

YANBU. I would be disgusted. His symptoms could have been alot worse due to their neglect. Hope the situation improves.

MrsTwix Thu 09-Mar-17 09:01:28

That is ridiculous. If it happens again then let Ofsted know.

PuffinDodger Thu 09-Mar-17 09:01:39

It doesn't sound very good. Could you move him to a different preschool?

2014newme Thu 09-Mar-17 09:06:38

Seriously bad I would complain to ofsted and more nursery.

Comealongpond89 Thu 09-Mar-17 09:14:01

YANBU I used to be a nursery nurse and of course mistakes can happen. But 2 incidents like this is very bad practice. Especially after you'd had a conversation with his KW. The staff should've been even more vigilant after the first incident. I'd be very cross in your shoes. I would also keep a track of which staff were present during these incidents and see whether mistakes are being made by certain members of staff and inform the manager. Hope it gets better for you

StatisticallyChallenged Thu 09-Mar-17 09:37:33

No that's not acceptable and I would expect them to have far better procedures in place.

cjt110 Thu 09-Mar-17 09:37:35

Prior to this, as I day, he's had no (that I can remember) incidents in the 2 years he's been there. I felt sick taking him in this morning and even joked with his previous KW if I could leave him with her.

I have asked for the manager to call me when she gets in which I believe is 9am. What time would you leave it til to call if she hasnt called me?

I am tempted to ask too that these incidents are recorded on accident forms as we have no written evidence of this occurring. Would this be unreasonable to ask?

Peanutandphoenix Thu 09-Mar-17 09:44:01

No YANBU are they seriously trying to put your DS in hospital and make him extremely ill I would be putting in a complaint to ofsted they know what he can and can't have so they shouldn't be so lax about it.

StatisticallyChallenged Thu 09-Mar-17 09:44:42

They should be recording it on incident forms I would say.

I think the biggest worry for me is that they didn't learn from it; I help to run a childcare business and unexpected things can and do happen but when they do the most important thing is that you evaluate how it happened and review your processes, procedures and risk assessments to stop it happening again. For the same thing to happen the next day suggests that they don't do this.

cjt110 Thu 09-Mar-17 09:45:40

I am glad none of you think IABU. It makes me concerned incase there are children with far worse allergies than he - anaphalaxis....

hazeyjane Thu 09-Mar-17 09:59:45

I would make sure you keep a record of the incidents, even if they aren't.

I would want to sit down with the keyworker and manage and write out a care plan, which specifies

-what food/drink should be avoided,
-how they will go out snack mealtimes to keep your child safe (eg sitting in a place where he can't accidentally grab another child's drink/meal),
-are there any other activities they do which may endanger your child (eg messy play which involves a dairy product)
-protocol if child does ingest allergen eg piriton? Inhaler? Calling you? 999?
-ask to be told if they do an activity involving dairy eg looking, decorating biscuits (you/they could provide dairy free alternative)
-do they let children bring in cakes etc on birthdays? If so could they keep some dairy free alternatives as a back up.

I would expect this before starting at a setting and a meeting with school nurse before starting school.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Thu 09-Mar-17 10:05:45

I'd kick up a fuss. DS2 had a severe CMPA until 2.5 and his nursery were amazing. They ran everything on the snack menu past me first (I didn't ask them to, I offered to provide dairy free alternatives to what they would offer) and were so careful about what he ate.

cjt110 Thu 09-Mar-17 10:18:53

So. The manager has called me. Again very apologetic and knowing her as I do, this is genuine. She has spoken to the staff to ascertain what happened and they are not going to put out meals now until the children are seated. They are also going to purchase bowls which are coloured differently for allergies. She is going to use my son as one of their little helpers at mealtimes which stops him from being able to take/touch any food whilst waiting for the other children and also, print out a photograph of him as his place mat rather than his name typed.

I have asked that incident forms are completed for each of these incidents and also mentioned about not getting a toddler sheet. She said some other children still do so she will ensure our son gets a toddler sheet after each visit.

I have also said that if they are in any doubt to call me. Im happy to go in and have a chat with them about his allergies and the consequences should he have something he shouldnt.

They have always been fantastic - providing dairy free alternatives both for meals, snacks and activities for him.

missperegrinespeculiar Thu 09-Mar-17 13:13:51

That sounds better OP, but my DS1 has anaphylactic allergies, he would not have been going back to this place, terrible cavalier attitude, in my case, my son could have died. It enrages me when allergies are not taken seriously.

Justwantcookies Thu 09-Mar-17 14:18:14

YANBU. Thank goodness he was ok. Sounds like they are putting things in place for you now. Very worrying though for you they do sound a bit lax.

As he moved up early, they should have thought about him not reading his name yet. Most children can read their name by age 3, so as that is the usual age to move up its probably why it was missed. however they should not be moving up younger children into the class if they haven't thought these things through. Also makes you wonder, where was the child whose dinner he was eating!

I'd have also thought if a plate of food was already on the table with a name next to it, most kids would just go for any old plate anyway and not even notice their name if they were hungry! Bit of an odd way round of doing it.

Comealongpond89 Thu 09-Mar-17 14:20:38

It sounds like the manager is taking this seriously which is good. As long as all the measures are enforced it seems like they are changing things for the better. Well done for sticking to your guns

Astro55 Thu 09-Mar-17 14:26:04

Well they seem to have discussed it and come up with a plan!

The different coloured of plates are a good idea - visual for your child and the nursery

The lack of communication appears to be from his old setting - otherwise the new setting would have known - same lack of communication to you as a parent from the old setting - again you didn't know

So blaming the new setting isn't the issue

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: