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To put DS in his room and shut the door?

(66 Posts)
Aliveinwanderland Thu 09-Mar-17 02:07:24

The other day I joked about putting him in a cupboard during the day. Tonight I am serious. He went to bed at 7, woke at 9 and was fed. Woke again at 10 and was fed. Woke again at 12 and is still wide awake. He is grumbling and no amount of sticking his dummy in and stroking his hair is sending him to sleep.

I'm so tempted to put him in his cot in his room and shut the door. Just for an hour so I can sleep. He will cry, but I can't go on much longer. DH is away until Monday and I've had 4 months of waking every 2 hours on a good night and being up constantly on a bad one.

There is nothing wrong with him, he just won't sleep.

nursebickypegs Thu 09-Mar-17 02:17:18

Isn't this classed as controlled crying? I know HV swear by it, but I read that the NSPCC disagree.

amysmummy12345 Thu 09-Mar-17 02:19:02

Sorry didn't read the first thread, has gp ruled out any medical cause for waking? Could be four month sleep regression? Growth spurt?

If its any consolation dd is nine months old and still does this, is he formula or breastfed?

Aliveinwanderland Thu 09-Mar-17 02:22:09

Breastfed, GP can't find anything wrong, neither can HV.

I don't want to do it as a method of getting him to sleep. I just need an hour to sleep myself. He isn't old enough for CC, I know that. I could cope with the 2 hourly feeds, but he used to go straight back to sleep afterwards. Now he stays awake and grumbles/cries/coos over and over. Im exhausted and don't know what else to do. I can't cope on my own with him for another 5 days without getting at least an hours sleep.

AndKnowItsSeven Thu 09-Mar-17 02:25:17

It's really hard but no of course you can't leave a young baby for an hour.
Could a friend or relative watch him for a few hours tomorrow so you can catch up on sleep in the day time?

foxessocks Thu 09-Mar-17 02:26:33

When I'm really desperate with ds I put him in bed with me and even if he is awake it tends to calm him so he isn't crying and I can snooze a bit as long as he is safe.

It's hard , my ds is also up every 2 hours on a good night and more on a bad night , he is six months. You have my sympathy.

Aliveinwanderland Thu 09-Mar-17 02:31:31

No I have no-one who can help. He is in bed with me already, grumbling in my ear.

We were meant to be going out for lunch tomorrow but might have to cancel. Again. I'm rarely getting out st the minute because I need to be able to have an hour sleep if he eventually does drop off in the day time.

Isadora2007 Thu 09-Mar-17 02:32:45

I Missed whether you have other kids? When littlest ds was teeny I actually went to bed after tea to feed him for his 7pm feed. (And began my enjoyable love affair with Emmerdale!) Often I would then sleep with him from 7.30-9/10 which helped me cope with the broken sleep whilst feeding overnight.
I suggest you forget about "me time" and prioritise sleeping when he does.

WiMoChi Thu 09-Mar-17 02:36:31

Hey. I'm in the same boat. My daughter is 2.5 and hasn't slept well forever. But, it gets better. Also we have zero help sadly. Just try to get through each day. Go for lunch tomorrow, might make you feel better for going. And rest when baby does it you can.

Aliveinwanderland Thu 09-Mar-17 02:38:02

No I don't have others. Usually when DH is here he can help from 7-10pm and 7-8am so I get a few hours. He also helps during the night often too.

Isadora2007 Thu 09-Mar-17 02:44:38

Then honestly you need to just take a few days of sleeping when baby sleeps. They do sleep a lot when they're little but it is a few hours at a time. But that's enough for you too if you prioritise sleep and not jobs or lunches or anything else. Just for a few days to regain some sanity. (Though I treasure those early days of being in bed at 7pm actually... a 7-9pm nap made night feeds so much more bearable)

Aliveinwanderland Thu 09-Mar-17 02:47:14

A few hours at a time would be lovely. Sadly DS only sleeps for 30 minutes at a time for his naps. Yesterday he slept for 3.5 hours in the afternoon, but on me so I couldn't sleep. He used to do a 2 hour lunch nap and I could catch up but he has started only sleeping on me.

Isadora2007 Thu 09-Mar-17 02:51:18

7-9 tonight? And get comfy when he naps on you so you can sleep? Like getting cushions round you to support your arms round him? Or even go up to bed with him for nap time?

fernanie Thu 09-Mar-17 03:34:20

Would it be feasible for you to hire a night nanny for a night? I know some student HVs / midwives / nurses sometimes do it for reduced rates, if that made it more manageable. It'd mean he probably had a couple of bottle feeds during the night but if it gave you a chance to rest..?

MrsStinkey Thu 09-Mar-17 03:41:43

Have you riled out reflux, silent reflux and intolerances? In my experience a baby only wakes like this when there's something unsettling them. I had a spate of this when DD2 was little and it was exhausting so I really feel for you OP. She had terrible reflux and dairy/soya intolerances which once managed properly meant she slept a whole lot better.

HPandBaconSandwiches Thu 09-Mar-17 03:58:03

Sleep when the baby sleeps doesn't work for a lot of babies. Didn't for my first. You have my sympathy OP but you know YABU.

DS slept for 45 min blocks overnight for nearly 6 months. Took about 45 mins to resettle after an hour long breast feed and then the cycle repeated. He napped for a maximum of 20 minutes until he was about 18 months old, when he finally learnt to do a glorious 1.5 hour stretch.

Trust me, I know how tired you are.

It was an absolute revelation when DD came along and slept for 3 hour stretches from birth. Thought there was something wrong with her!

My advice fwiw is get out every day, the more natural daylight the better. Cluster feed during the evening, if he's falling asleep during a feed, wake him. Don't feed at night more than every 3 hours and extend that to 4 after a few nights. Keep lights low and don't interact. Do whatever it takes to get him to sleep - white noise, cuddles, shh pat, but dont leave him to scream.

Find someone, anyone you trust, to give you a break. Even if it's not family. Do you truly have no one within 50 miles who would give you a break? Or speak to your HV as some areas have special setups of volunteers to give mums a break and help a bit.

Also, controversially, I would consider early weaning. With hindsight DS was underfed, I know that now having had a well fed one! He was born skinny, jumped up to 50 centile, but after weaning shot up to 91-97th. He's very tall and skinny still. I also think, he was refluxy and weaning s settle too.

If it helps, DS started sleeping through from about 8 months and is generally a fab sleeper still. DD who started so well continued to wake every 3 hours for 3+ years and still wakes most nights at least once at nearly 4. So your DS may surprise you yet!

Don't shut the door on him. You will regret that more than you can know.

Trifleorbust Thu 09-Mar-17 05:10:11

I was half way through typing 'do it' when I deleted it because I know it's wrong sad

I feel so sorry for you, OP. Where is your DH? Why is he away when this is happening? Can you call him and tell him he needs to come back because this is where you are right now?

Trifleorbust Thu 09-Mar-17 05:13:03

Plus I would get him on to formula. This isn't working for you. flowers

Aliveinwanderland Thu 09-Mar-17 05:35:45

DH is on a stag do in another country.

I have some help over the weekend but not in the week. Everyone I know works full time.

He slept 3-3:30 and then 4:30-5:30 so I've had a little sleep. Awake again now.

Trifleorbust Thu 09-Mar-17 05:39:43

I'm going to risk being shot down here and say he should not be going on stag dos abroad when you are struggling like this. If you really need to, get on the phone and tell him to come home, Alice. If the alternative is that you, in sheer desperation, are forced to neglect his child, he shouldn't give an issue with that.

flowers

Aliveinwanderland Thu 09-Mar-17 05:43:52

He does his share when he is here and works hard. He has had it booked for over a year and it's his best friend so he couldn't not go.

I think we will give baby class and lunch a miss today and just go for a walk so hopefully he sleeps in the pram. He is capable of staying asleep as he did 3.5 hours yesterday afternoon, just isn't doing it at night time! Last night was the worse night I've ever had with him.

Trifleorbust Thu 09-Mar-17 05:46:08

You sound lovely. But whether or not he does his share isn't the point! Your baby doesn't sleep more than an hour or so at a time, so I thinking leaving you alone with him for a week is something he needed to reconsider. Anyway, you seem in a more positive frame of mind. I hope you have a better day today flowers

EyeStye Thu 09-Mar-17 05:48:14

When you say he is awake grumbling/crying/cooing how much is full out crying?
I would definitely leave the room with grumbling/whinging and cooing and he might just go back to sleep on his own. Sorry if I've underestimated the amount of crying though

RainyDayBear Thu 09-Mar-17 05:55:27

If he sleeps in the pram, is rocking him asleep in that and then napping on the sofa an option? If you really need to doze, is he happy in his bouncer? If so, pop it in front of the TV and doze on the sofa, you need some sleep.

I remember your thread from the other day, I hope things improve soon flowers

RainyDayBear Thu 09-Mar-17 05:55:51

I meant rocking him to sleep indoors.

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