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I want to do something awful to my ex

(8 Posts)
Dumbstrucked Tue 07-Mar-17 18:10:01

Name changed for this. My dd 10 has just come to me with the news that her dads girlfriend has given birth yesterday. Ex lives 200 miles away and has been with his girlfriend for three years but never introduced her to our dd. Hadn't even told her that they were expecting a baby, just sent her a text this morning with a picture asking her when she wanted to come and see her new sister.

Would I be unreasonable to drive all the way up to Scotland to yell at my ex until his ears bleed for treating our dd like this. She is understandably devastated and confused about what is happening and also excited because she's now a big sister. How do I even begin to explain why her dad is such a useless piece of garbage??

Do not want to drip feed but he sees dd twice a year, sends me fifty quid for birthdays and Christmas to buy her something and put his name on. We broke up because he refused to work or contribute to dd, he was emotionally abusive, spent all his money on weed and got arrested for burglary (that was the final straw). He does pay maintenance for dd now after a lengthy court battle but he has told me many times I'm a money grabbing bitch who is bleeding him dry.

FinnegansCake Tue 07-Mar-17 18:22:22

He sounds awful and I can understand you being angry.

Don't waste your breath on him though, it seems unlikely that he would comprehend that he has gone about this in totally the wrong way. Just be thankful that you are rid of him and can give your DD the love and stability she needs. It's a good thing he's too far away for him to see her more often, he would no doubt mess her up emotionally.

TeenageCentaurMortificado Tue 07-Mar-17 18:24:54

Expect the reduction in maintenance now he has another child...

KatnissMellark Tue 07-Mar-17 18:26:47

What an arsehole, YANBU.


Dumbstrucked Tue 07-Mar-17 18:29:42

teenage honestly that is the least of my concerns

Anon1234567890 Tue 07-Mar-17 18:30:23

Your DD now has a half sister, I suspect she wont see her a lot so it won't really impact her that much.

Don't make it into a big deal, its not your concern. Your ex has to deal with it, if there is anything to deal with. Just open some wine

RiversrunWoodville Tue 07-Mar-17 18:34:35

What a twat and your poor dd. It would be of course be entirely inappropriate to get revenge 😇 but if they still make them craftmatic adjustable beds are expensive and didn't used to take credit card details if you select c.o.d (this was however many years ago they may have got wise to expartners scorned) <waves at best friend as this will out me if she's on MN>
I am not trying to minimise your pain just to make you feel a little better

plominoagain Tue 07-Mar-17 20:08:20

The worst possible thing you can do to your ex?

Live well . The very fact your life has improved without him in it is the very best and sweetest revenge . It's even legal.

Although much easier to advise rather than live up to !

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