Lack of revision - year 11 - GCSEs looming(15 Posts)
My DDs are driving me nuts - they've both got GCSEs in a few weeks but aren't doing any studying at all at home. When I cagole/complain they say that their whole school day now involves revising, and they go to most of the after school revisions sessions and they believe this is enough.
Surely they should be doing something at home - their mocks were ok but could have been better, particularly DT2.
It's driving me nuts to see them glued to screens every night at such an important time of their schooling. DH seems to have opted out of anything to do with this, I'm not sure he's even aware exactly when the exams are. He gets in first from work and doesn't even mention revising to them .... I get in and I'm then seen as the bad guy who changes the atmosphere.
Do I just back off and leave them to it, it's stressing me out.
I then have to sit there hearing DT2 telling everyone how she quite fancies studying psychology at A level ...... really!! I don't think so, you're putting the bare minimum in for GCSEs ..... A levels are a massive step up and if you're not motivated now it won't happen. I've said this in a round about way, but maybe I need to be more brutal ..... then I'm accused of negativity and not believing in them .......
Is it too early for wine. Anyone elses DCs doing so little or is it just mine.
I can understand why you're stressed, but I actually think it depends how they're doing at school at what their ambitions are. I did sweet fa for my gases (maybe revised a bit the night before) and came out with As and Bs. Nothing my mum said made a difference. Yes, revision could probably have brought some Bs up to As but it has had no effect on the rest of my life.
Well this is a couple of years off for me but I don't think YABU. Maybe point out that it's them knowing their stuff rather than your belief in them that's going to make the difference on exam day.
Ultimately it's up to them. But I'd at least want to clarify with their teachers that there is nothing they could be usefully doing at home before I just shrugged my shoulders and let them play on.
They're competing for grades against kids who are not only revising at school, but are also putting in the hours at home. Even kids in my class (a middling maths set) who are notorious homework-dodgers have started doing extra work by now.
Slacking off at GSCE even if they do do well won't do them any favours at A-level. Going to sixth form without any idea of how to study is a common cause of students failing in Y12, or having a massive wake-up call in January and struggling massively to turn things around.
If they're doing up to 7 hours a day revising at school, they're entitled to some down-time. GCSE stress is serious.
Put controls on your wifi so it turns off at certain times, then they have to revise, or change the password each day and give it to them once they have done an hour or two of revision. Take phones away when doing this, otherwise they'll just create a wifi hotspot.
It is frustrating and my son is one of the youngest in his year and is on the Autistic spectrum. He's also just discovered that he's liked and has started asking to go round to other friend's houses. He has a couple of free periods during the day, so can revise then, but his condition means that homework has always been a struggle. However, he does revise for at least half an hour a night (with cajoling from me) and his sister helps him with his maths too. He's fine with this. Home time is down time for him. So frustrating. He's also been warned that he can no longer miss days at school, which is also a problem for him.
I wish I could wave a magic wand for us all.
What do school say? I took the lazy parent action and offered cash for grades .
Have to say ds2 appeared to do
nothing remarkably little work and came out of both GCSEs and As with great grades. Ds1 did work and did about the same. Anyway, it's hard to make them work. Are they competitive with one another? If too much time being spent on screens maybe have a family conference and agree work times, break times and rewards good luck with that.
In short you can't force them to work.
I do believe in down time, because there are only so many hours in the day and you cannot actually absorb the information after 45 mins of study.
Have they got 6th form or college applications pending BigSandy ? An open evening visit or two might give them more of a target to aim for, when they realise the entry requirements for courses they like the look of.
It's difficult as you can't make them actually revise even if you turn off all the screens and make them get their books out.
3 of my kids revised and did well, dd4 is doing mock A levels now with real ones in June and works from the time she gets home to bed time. Too much really.
however ds 2 was a lazy bugger and failed his GCSEs. It shocked him to get his head down and revise.
Similarly other friends failed and realised the academic route wasn't for them and got good apprenticeship after retakes.
Failing can be a good sharp lesson but of course schools can refuse to take them at 6th form if they don't work and don't blame them.
GCSEs arnt a rest of brains but recall so they my so better than you think.
I would get your dh onside too and insist he talks to them.
It's not easy is it
Try to agree a plan with them of what is reasonable and realistic especially in light of them working hard all day at school. Some screen time and down time helps you unwind but I do believe that they need some study to make the most of their exams!
It won't be enough to go to revision sessions. They need to manage their own revision and identify topics where they need to do more work. Doesn't have to be hours, but they are old enough now to be up until 10ish? There is time for an hour or so of study.
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