to call the police on my dad? (rant- I know I wasn't)

[Bleurghghghgh]

I've already done it so more of a WIBU.

My dad lost his job a week or so ago and his drinking (which was already quite bad) has gotten out of control in the aftermath.

I'll try to keep this as short as possible but he texted me about an hour ago asking if he could stay at my flat tonight. I asked why and said no. He said he was coming anyway.

I texted his fiancée to ask what had happened and she forwarded me a screenshot of a text he'd sent to her daughter (who lives there -19 yo) basically saying 'I'm moving you out, I'm not having you take the piss out of me'

I rang him and said I do not want him in my flat right now and can he not sleep on his own sofa. He hung up on me.

His fiancée then texted to say he'd gone out on the bike (motorbike) and she didn't know where he'd gone.

Despite his insistence that he hadn't been, I could tell from when I briefly spoke to him that he was very drunk.

So I called the police. I know nothing about the bike (he's been through three in about the past 12 months) but he has a personalised number plate so I gave that.

I've since spoken to him and am confident he doesn't have the bike so have called and cancelled the search. I'm on my way to the pub he's in now and if there's any sign of the bike I'll call them back.

I've told him I'm going to see him (and try to force him to go home so he doesn't get arrested regardless of the bike - he's an aggressive drunk) but he seems to think I'm a terrible person for calling the police in the first place.

I'm on my way there now and just need a bit of emotional back up really.

Not very short at all... thanks for reading if you have.

[AtrociousCircumstance]

You're doing the right thing. Keep going. Remove yourself when he gets too aggressive.

Must be very tough.

[SquidgeyMidgey]

I'd stay away from him. If the bike is parked up then do what you need to do but I'd not be taking him on when he's drunk, there's simply no point.

[Bleurghghghgh]

Also - I'm only meeting him because he's in a pub he's been a local in since I was about 5. In the unlikely event (because he knows everyone in there) that he gets aggressive with me there'll be about 10 people there to stop him

[PickettBowtruckle]

100% the right thing to do. It takes a lot when it's family to do that but you're absolutely doing the right thing.

I know what it's like having family with alcohol issues, I hope your Dad gets help, but well done you.

[SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower]

YANBU to call the police. At ALL.

YABU to even bother trying to talk to him. Let him sort himself out.

[Mynestisfullofempty]

You would have been a terrible person if you hadn't called the police. I'm very sorry you're having to deal with this, it must be terrible and so worrying.

[Bleurghghghgh]

Thanks guys - x posted my addition before I saw your posts

What a mess. I'm withdrawing emotionally from it all as of tomorrow. Just need to make sure he's not going to hurt anyone innocent tonight. I'd never be able to forgive myself if I didn't check.

[Astro55]

YABU to even bother trying to talk to him. Let him sort himself out

Leave him to his own drama

[Bleurghghghgh]

And more. Thank you

His fiancée has put her daughter on a bus to one of their friend's but I feel I need to calm him down a bit before he goes home so she doesn't get the brunt of it. I told her to go too but she was having none of it. Classic EA relationship I guess

I moved out to get away from all this shit ffs

[Bleurghghghgh]

Thank you MyNest - your post has got me a bit emotional! That isn't what I need en route to telling my dad he's a selfish prick going to ruin his own life but thank you

[RiversrunWoodville]

You don't need this at all in sure but you are 100% right with what you are doing and just offering a virtual hand hold

[RiversrunWoodville]

I'm not in

[Bleurghghghgh]

Thank you

[SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower]

Seriously, just step away.

If he gets arrested for being an aggressive drunk, so what? Surely that's better than him going home and taking his rage out on his fiancée!

Don't attempt to negotiate with a drunk aggressive angry man. It's absolutely futile.

[Bleurghghghgh]

Approaching pub and need to charge phone behind bar when there. Will update after.

I already know he won't be a twat in front of everyone there but similar will happen in a couple of days but still.

Thank you everyone

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

Yes well done OP, hope it goes ok.

[SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower]

Good luck

[ohtheholidays]

Your being a really good Daughter and it sounds like you offer alot of support to your Dad's Girlfriend and her Daughter.

I hope your Dad's not to bad and that the talk goes well.

[EweAreHere]

Good luck

[HappyFlappy]

You did the right thing - for his sake and for everyone else's.


He could have killed/seriously injured himself if he had ridden that bike in a drunken state. Worse - he could have killed or seriously injured someone else. You would never have forgiven yourself.

You are in the awful position of parenting your father. Both of my parents were alcohol dependent, so I know what you are going through - the stress and worry are horrendous.

Make sure that you remain safe yourself.

[needahugekickuptheass]

YADNBU I am nc with my dad but he was a violent drunk and often took his anger out on me. After I left home and he turned up at my home drunk one night he got aggressive and I had to grab a knife from the kitchens side so he would leave me alone. I wish I'd called the police tbh

[SquidgeyMidgey]

How are you doing op?

[Bleurghghghgh]

I met him. Told him he was being a selfish idiot and he was surprisingly open to that. Furious at my 999 call until I explained why I did it and actually screamed WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ME TO DO

he left me in the pub with the (lovely) staff but I need to say no next time he does this.

[Bleurghghghgh]

Thank you again everyone you made up until now easier x

[Bleurghghghgh]

for everyone

But happy flappy I'll PM uou tomorrow when I go on 'real' Mumsnet but in the meantime, thank you xx