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To have a spotlessly clean house as a single mum to a toddler

(251 Posts)
Hopeless29 Mon 06-Mar-17 19:04:10

I'm a single mum. I have a three year old.

I've always been someone who liked to have a clean house. I'm not OCD about it but can't relax in a dirty or messy house.

Everyone told me once I have a child my house would suddenly become a tip but I knew that wouldn't be the case.

Yes my son has toys everywhere during the day but he's been taught to put them back when he's finished and I don't let him eat around the house as I think he should eat at the table.

Between 4-5pm while I'm cooking dinner I tidy the house. I actually enjoy it. My house is spotless and tidy and while it's harder to keep a house clean and tidy with children, I've not found it a chore or difficult.

My friends seem to think my house should be a tip (their own words) like theirs and seem very put out that my house is so clean. They make passive aggressive comments about it and how they don't have time to clean once the children have gone to bed.

I find it so irritating.

If they want to prioritise something else that's absolutely fine and I know some people find it a struggle to keep and tidy house with children and that's fine. For me, having a clean and tidy house is very important and I couldn't live in a dirty house. It only takes me an hour a day when I'm cooking dinner anyway. So it's no bother and it doesn't mean I'm neglecting my son inorder to have the place clean.

AIBU to want and to have a clean house?

sonyaya Mon 06-Mar-17 19:06:21

No, obviously not.

msgrinch Mon 06-Mar-17 19:07:33

No you're not for thinking it but do you work full time? Do they?

Hopeless29 Mon 06-Mar-17 19:08:04

Thanks sonyaya.

I think my friends just want my house to be a mess as theirs is and it supports heir idea that having children means you can't keep your house clean and tidy.

womblewomble Mon 06-Mar-17 19:08:46

YABU to misuse the term OCD.

Hopeless29 Mon 06-Mar-17 19:09:23

No I don't. I work from home. But actually my house stayed MUCH tidier when I worked full time as we weren't in the house to make it messy.

So it was easier. This way we are in the house and naturally make more mess.

My friends don't work in any capacity.

BakerBear Mon 06-Mar-17 19:09:47

I have a very clean house. However im a SAHM with a 4 year old. I would imagine it would be very hard to keep everything up to standard if you worked full time and had several children.

Hopeless29 Mon 06-Mar-17 19:10:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewtScamandersNaughtyNiffler Mon 06-Mar-17 19:10:44

Yanbu. My house is always untidy and I wish I was more like you. grin

BigFatBollocks Mon 06-Mar-17 19:11:07

No, not at all. You only have one child, mind. Do you work? Does your child c their father? If so plenty of time to clean on your weekends and evenings off. Show off show off pick your nose and blow off, ay?

JohnLapsleyParlabane Mon 06-Mar-17 19:11:16

I think there's a kind of competitive slumminess at the moment. I've noticed it with a few of my friends (I don't think we know each other irl!). Personally I find it hard to keep my home nice, and I might be jealous of a friend who could.

msgrinch Mon 06-Mar-17 19:11:18

Well you're happy doing it your way. Maybe your friends are finding it harder.

Evergreen777 Mon 06-Mar-17 19:11:37

With just one child and a job (if any) that means you're back by 4pm each day, I would thought you have plenty time to have a spotless house if that's important to you. Don't judge your friends who haven't though - even if you think they have as much free time as you. So long as their kids are well cared for it's up to them.

Beth2511 Mon 06-Mar-17 19:12:05

i have a 2 year old and 5 month old and am a single mum in a tiny flat. it permamently looks like a bomb has exploded but i keep it clean which is the main thing.

Letmesleepalready Mon 06-Mar-17 19:12:27

Can you come and help me sort mine out? I seem to spend so much effort for not much result!

KickAssAngel Mon 06-Mar-17 19:12:31

I grew up in a messy house (not terrible) and my mum got a lot of criticism about it from older female family so was/is very defensive.

I've always had a clean & tidy house but gets lots of passive aggressive comments from my mum about it. Also, whenever they visited us, my parents used to leave mess all over the house, then proclaim how we weren't as tidy as we should be.

So it Is possible to keep the house tidy, but possibly with more than one kid it would be about 5 times harder.

Blossomdeary Mon 06-Mar-17 19:12:49

It is possible to have a clean house that is untidy with the normal muddle that children make. I hope that you will make sure that your DS does not feel obliged to share your feelings about this as he gets older. It is important to be flexible when bringing up children.

Personally I like to see a bit of muddle in a home with children - I feel that the children are probably happier.

Toysaurus Mon 06-Mar-17 19:12:58

I'm a single mum with two children both in primary school and lots of other difficulties to contend with. My flat alternates between pristine and a dump.

My day for work starts at 5am and we all get home from work and school at 6.30pm, later if clubs. I'm too tired to give a shit by that point, even with actual real, diagnosed OCD.

It's marvellous for you that you have enough on your hands to not have a tip to contend with. But you sound a bit smug.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar Mon 06-Mar-17 19:13:35

I found it easy with one dc and depending on how much time we were out of the house. It was when dc2 became mobile it got messy because they play together. It's tidy again in about 20 minutes once dc in bed.

RiversrunWoodville Mon 06-Mar-17 19:14:17

Yabu not to come and do mine grin. No really if you are able to keep on top of everything don't let other people get you down about it, I often wish people would just mind their own business about a lot of things, if you like your house spotless good for you why should others judge you. If I can't always have mine as tidy as I would like (and I do!) because I have chronic illnesses run a farm business and have 2 dcs I would like people not to judge me. (I also wish they wouldn't go on and on because I don't have time to go out for coffee or visit but that's a whole other thread). Your home your choice

PussInCoutts Mon 06-Mar-17 19:14:51

Your friends sound jealous of your achievement of keeping you home clean. Which doesn't make them sound like great friends, TBH.

I bloody wish I was like you! smile

SaltySeaBird Mon 06-Mar-17 19:15:29

Two working parents, long commute and two very very messy children. Our house is clean but rarely tidy no matter how hard I try!

Sudocreamface Mon 06-Mar-17 19:16:00

My brothers girlfriend had a baby and lost all the weight. She then had another and lost the weight again too. I'm bitter about it but don't say anything, not act that way too her, she is lovely.
I also thought to myself she wouldn't get it off the second time and she did once again!!

Sounds like you did what they thought you wouldn't. They have been rude about it towards you instead of swollowimg their misjudgment!

danTDM Mon 06-Mar-17 19:16:12

1 child? Single parent? At home all day? Yep, I would say that is totally normal.

You jut do a tidy round, which takes 10 mins, every evening. Clean as needed in the day.

At work all day and child in daycare? Well then same thing really.

What is your issue?

Thegirlinthefireplace Mon 06-Mar-17 19:16:42

I think you are right that your friends want your house to be like theirs to justify claims that it's impossible to keep the house spotless.

Like you say, people prioritise differently. I'm like your friends and can obviously handle more mess than you so let things slide more but do also bear in mind that not all houses can be cleaned to spotless top to bottom in an hour, it depends on their size and what mess has been created by how many occupants.

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