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AIBU in this argument about keys with DP

(106 Posts)
collectingdust Mon 06-Mar-17 11:38:03

(first time ever posting after years of lurking)

I just wanted to get some perspective on this disagreement with DP (one of many) as DP always makes out that I am completely unhinged and am being very unreasonable on this.

We both have keys for the front door and car, however, DP tends not to use his during the week as he has a separate work bunch that has our back door and bike shed on (he doesn't use the car for work) so he uses these to get out during the week.

So on an evening and weekend he would often grab my bunch of keys with the front door and car on as it is easier than finding his own. This has lead to him in the past leaving them in his jacket pocket so that I can't find my keys easily when I need to get out.

There has been an occasion when he has left both car keys in his pocket and then has gone to work accidentally with both sets, so I wasn't able to get out in car (Thankfully it was my day off, so not needed for work, but I did have to cancel my plans)

So, I have said to not use my keys as it is inconvenient when I can't find them and there is a risk of being left with no sets of car keys in the house if he accidentally takes both to work.

I also see my keys as part of my identity as an adult, they have my hilarious humorous key ring on them, they are mine and I just don't want to share.

AIBU, petty and unhinged, would this annoy you or would you just roll with it?

StylishDuck Mon 06-Mar-17 11:40:14

Can't comment about whether this makes you petty and unhinged but this would irritate me too so on that basis YANBU grin

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Mon 06-Mar-17 11:41:08

dh did this once and once only....I am still a legend in his office for the both the venom and volume of the call to him to suggest he might like to make a choice between death or returning my -fucking keys it was up to him, cos either suited me.

Bluntness100 Mon 06-Mar-17 11:41:13

Would drive me nuts. My husband can never find his keys. The simple act of putting them in the same place each night seems to be beyond him and the whole "have you seen my keys" dance is done most days. He doesn't take mine though. I'd also put my foot down. His keys in one door every night, yours in another, and tell him he's not allowed yours in no uncertain terms.

HecateAntaia Mon 06-Mar-17 11:41:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JedBartlet Mon 06-Mar-17 11:42:23

This would annoy me. It might be more convenient for him to use your keys, but it's not more convenient for you, and as they are your keys, you get the final say.
It's his responsibility to look after his own keys, and yours to look after yours.

Gingernaut Mon 06-Mar-17 11:43:07

Hide yours.

SantinoRice Mon 06-Mar-17 11:44:22

DP should put all his keys on one bunch & stop being such an idiot.

No, it is not cool that he thinks he can take your keys. YANBU.

troodiedoo Mon 06-Mar-17 11:46:39

Why can't he just put his door key on the bunch with his work keys? YANBU. I'd find a new hiding place for your keys and don't tell him where.

troodiedoo Mon 06-Mar-17 11:47:41

Oh sorry just re read and see the evening/ weekend thing.

JunosRevenge Mon 06-Mar-17 11:48:26


Your DH is telling you that his needs and wishes trump yours, OP.

Man10 Mon 06-Mar-17 11:49:41

No, don't put up with this. He shouldn't be shittifying your life because he's too lazy or stupid to become more organised.

collectingdust Mon 06-Mar-17 11:50:28

I have started to hide mine when I know he is going out in the car which made me feel a bit sneaky and petty, the rest of the time I like to keep them on the kitchen hook so that they are easy for me to find.

Oldraver Mon 06-Mar-17 11:52:05

It would irritate the fuck out of me he does it, doesn't seem to care and accuses you of being unhinged -kill him for that alone--

I would put your keys at the bottom of your shouldn't have to.

xStefx Mon 06-Mar-17 11:54:43

Pisses me off when DH is so unorganised that it puts me out! Put yourself out mate by all means but when I can actually organise myself and my day gets fucked up because of DH I could throttle him. So in short YANBU

ThomasRichard Mon 06-Mar-17 11:54:59

YANBU. He takes his keys, you take yours. He doesn't get to inconvenience you just because it's convenient for him.

I once accidentally took my then-H's keys to work. It set off a chain of events that resulted in me falling down the office stairs and spending the day sitting with my foot and bottom on ice, giving multiple presentations from memory as my laptop was smashed to smithereens. Instant karma.

Sixisthemagicnumber Mon 06-Mar-17 11:55:14

Does he leave his front door house keys in the house normally when you are both out?
If he does then he really needs to stop doing that as most insurers will invalidate your insurance if you are broken into and the burglars use your keys to exit through the door with your prized possessions.

plominoagain Mon 06-Mar-17 11:55:14

DH used to do this . Until the day he went to work taking both sets , and I had to go to work . Except he'd taken both sets of keys for my car , plus my work locker keys , meaning not only could I not go to work, I couldn't do my job when I got there . I went absolutely fucking orbital. Now he leaves them the fuck alone .

MoroccoMaybe Mon 06-Mar-17 11:55:44

Can you get another key cut for the car and keep it in a drawer?

I have a very basic non fancy car and a new car key for it is £150 minimum. Yes I have tried every timpsons etc. Full whack direct from ford is the only option.

Trifleorbust Mon 06-Mar-17 11:59:41

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest UNTIL he didn't return them and I got locked in, then I would be in your frame of mind, OP.

NavyandWhite Mon 06-Mar-17 12:01:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MackerelOfFact Mon 06-Mar-17 12:02:34

This would drive me nuclear. YANBU. I'd be tempted to get a decoy set of door keys, hide your actual ones, and then wait for him to use them and lock himself the fuck out.

You shouldn't be the one picking up the slack for his lack of organisation, and he shouldn't be the one benefiting from your presence of it!

ChiefClerkDrumknott Mon 06-Mar-17 12:03:14

It would annoy me that he didn't put mine back where he found them. I would tell him not to use my keys any more if he can't be bothered to put them back

Megatherium Mon 06-Mar-17 12:03:25

I'm definitely petty enough to hide my keys in that situation. He's never going to learn to organise himself whilst it's easy to take your keys.

BonnyScotland Mon 06-Mar-17 12:04:33

this would DRIVE ME CRAZY....... tell him to get a grip of his own set keys...

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