7 months later

[nc123456789]

Have posted this in childbirth but copied here for traffic...

Looking for a bit of advice as to what is normal, has this happened to anyone?

I had a 24 hour back to back labour, they tried to turn ds by putting me on a drip to make my contractions stronger, getting me to push him down past the spines, trying to turn him with their hands causing first degree tear, I was then taken down to theatre where they gave me an episiotomy then rotated him with forceps then they pulled while I pushed basically. My womb wouldn't contract after he was born so I was put on another drip to get it to shrink back down. I've since found out that they should have offered me a c-section, can only assume my hospital was trying to get their c-section rates down.
I had quite heavy lochia for 6 weeks afterwards, my episiotomy site was sore for up to 12 weeks. I said to my gp at my 6 week check that I was still sore, she had a look and said that everything looked normal.
I still don't feel normal 7 months later, the front wall of my vagina is lower, almost lying against the opening, my clitoris feels numb. Sex is uncomfortable and I can no longer orgasm (even by myself). Also it looks like my labia have basically disappeared.
Surely this isn't normal? Is it worth going back to my gp? I felt like she just wasn't interested at my 6 week check.

[IamFriedSpam]

Definitely back to GP and push for a referral to a gyno. That's certainly not normal after 7 months.

[LatinForTelly]

Gosh, I'm so sorry you went through all that, OP. I would definitely go back to your GP - it doesn't sound normal at all.

[herethereandeverywhere]

I had a very similar delivery. The midwife actually introduced the consultant that did the forceps delivery as 'this is the man who keeps our c-section rates down' so don't have any doubt as to why you were put through that. My episiotomy broke down so I had a terrible time with pain and healing. I also had faecal continence issues.

Yes, push for a referral. If you ever want any more children I'd recommend a c-section. So much less traumatic mentally and physically (That I how I delivered my second child, it was a lovely, easy experience in comparison).

[StarlingMurderation]

Go back and ask for a gynae referral. I had a similar back-to-back then forceps birth with DS, and later had to have an operation to repair a muscle separation/tear higher up inside. The GP said it all looked fine but the gynaecologist could see immediately what was wrong.

[nc123456789]

herethere I have decided I will push for an elective c section for any other children I may have. I wish I'd been in a fit state to insist on one with ds.

I am going to phone my doctors now and make an appointment.

starling what was involved with your operation if you don't mind me asking? Hospital stay? What was recovery like?

[StarlingMurderation]

Have PM'd you but forgot to say it was one night in hospital for the op. They said they could have sent me home the same day if I hadn't been the last in the operating theatre that day, and also if I hadn't been sick a few times when I came round from the anaesthetic.

[Idefix]

What starling says op. I am 10 days post op a prolapse repair.
I would ask for a referral preferably to a urogynaecologist (even if you have no urinary symptoms.
Things to consider are that if a repair to the back wall is done you will not be able to lift heavy (baby) objects immediately and a limited weight for your life time after healing. Vaginal birth won't be recommended, pregnancy can cause the repair to fail.

Some women wait to complete their family before having surgery, but I would still see gynae as they will be able to assess you and refer for physio, advice on future pregnancies/births.

My damage was also caused by a 48 HR back to back labour followed by a crash section should have been offered a section sooner.

[mollymaid16]

After having my baby I felt exactly the same as you. Op it's still really early days it took at least a year for
Me be completely gone with most pain and even now depending on what way I sit or cough etc I can feel my bladder pushing on my pelvic wall. It's normal, you need to be religious with pelvic floors to help

[Allthebestnamesareused]

I had a double episiotomy and then 2 Fenton's procedures (repairs) and then also scar tissue removal. I wish I had gone to the GP earlier.

I was not allowed an elective caesarean 2nd time round as there was no medical reason for one . However my consultant was prepared to induce at 37 weeks instead and I had a lovely v. Delivery second time - just gas and air and no tears.


Definitely get a gynae referral

[Mermaidinthesea]

I would have sued the hospital for a massive trauma like that. i don't know how you managed to survive it.

[eyespydreams]

allthebest that's crazy, I had similar but def not as bad and was easily given c section2nd time! Glad for you it went well though.

[Crumbs1]

To be honest some of your understanding seems a bit confused about the detail,of the delivery. Some units offer an opportunity to go back and talk through the delivery andvhow/why decisions were made to enable mothers who have had a difficult time to understand and come to terms with the clinical management. I know many women find it useful.
Physically, the reproductive tract and genitalia do change through childbirth but ask for a referral to a gynaecologist to check you haven't prolapsed.

[nc123456789]

crumbs in what way?

[nc123456789]

mermaid I have no interest in suing anyone, only interested to know if people having had a similar delivery had the same problems following it. I would never try to take money from the NHS, it has little enough as it is.

[Pitchforktotheface]

Very very similar delivery here too, I feel very similar but gynae says everything looks fine. I'm fucked forever.

[Crumbs1]

To trying to say you are wrong but you mention a first degree tear like it's something bad - it's so small as to not need stitches. Your description of forceps assistance sounds like you think it was outside norm "pulled as I pushed basically" - well that is what a forceps delivery is. You would have required an episiotomy prior to forceps. A spongy uterus is not uncommon.
Who told you that you should have had c- section? You make it sound like hospital trying to reduce c-section rate is a bad thing when every hospital is trying to do same as it is better for mothers not to have avoidable sections. The maternity unit dashboard (that monitors key measures of good obstetric performance) includes the section rate with a lower level being seen as better care.
Assisted deliveries can be emotionally and physically traumatic. I was simply suggesting that going over exactly how and why decisions were made may be beneficial. The programmes are often called things like 'Birth stories' or 'Talking births'. Not all units have them but many do.

[nc123456789]

crumbs I wasn't saying a first degree tear was bad and I know an episiotomy was needed for forceps. I also know what a forceps delivery is - obviously. I was describing in detail incase any of these things are why I'm having the problems I'm having or if they're just normal after any childbirths no matter how they happened. A midwife I know told me that due to the bad positioning of the baby I should have been offered rotational forceps or a c-section - not only rotational forceps, she said it's stated in NICE guidelines.

My question was whether these after affects were normal or not and if I should see anyone about them, not about the delivery itself, which is done now anyway.

[nc123456789]

pitchfork if you are also suffering numbness have you been offered an explanation as to why that might be?

[mollymaid16]

I got pethadine in my thigh and for some weird reason half my thigh was numb for around half a year lol I just put it down to the injection, weird

[Pitchforktotheface]

OP, I've had 6 months (and counting) of physio, and they said that nerve damage can happen with episiotomy and forceps. It may come back or may not. I look very different down there and sex is crap. I'm also incontinent. It's shit. There'll be no other babies for me.

[nc123456789]

pitchfork I also leak sometimes but I know that's pretty common so just hoping if I keep doing my pelvic floor exercises it will help. I'm more worried about never enjoying sex again

[Pitchforktotheface]

Have you been checked that you are doing them right? When I went to physio they gave me new techniques, and they were so much more effective.

[mollymaid16]

Don't worry my dc is 2 and I still leak a little I think to be honest all women with Children do to some degree but they wouldn't let on and like to pretend all is perfect in reality it's not the case. After 6 months I went to the go with a list of stuff I though I had thrush, piles as it was sore when I went to the loo ( to this day it sometimes still is if I don't drink enough water or eat enough vege). Sex was sore for the first year and even now we have to go slow for first 5/10 minutes and then it's ok.

I felt after my birth that I was ruined and I felt like I was damaged and the only person feeling this like. My doctor checked and told me it was all just stuff healing and my scar was causing all my problems as I Had 2nd degree tear. Please don't worry the reason we worry so much is because we think we are not normal but most women hide this stuff and pretend to their friends that they healed fab and back to normal ( they are lying)

[mollymaid16]

If it never happened to others there would be no need for Tena lady's but to be honest I wear a party liner every day and I never ever think about it, I do pelvic floors when I remember and I feel ok in that department.

[nc123456789]

pitchfork at my 6 week check my gp asked me to do one while she had her finger inside, she seemed happy with what I was doing. I started going to a post natal yoga class 6 weeks pp that focusses on healing everything down there.
I have an appointment with my gp for Wednesday morning, I hope it is just too soon to be completely healed and I don't need an operation. I'm not sure how I'd manage for 6 weeks not being able to lift ds etc.