I'm feeling very very guilty for being such a horrible cow so this is more of a confession, and wondering if I'm alone in feeling like this.
Long story short I had an ectopic pregnancy at the beginning of the year, very upsetting but caught nice and early so hopefully no lasting damage, we are moving forward emotionally and trying again.
I have a much younger sibling and my mum has kept all the useful baby stuff for me that is in good condition to have. At the time I was actually pregnant and it was all going well, my mum has a friend who is about a month further along than me at this point and we are at her house. She and mum are talking and mum mentions that she can have something for the baby that's stored away in the attic...Cue some minor jealousy from me but I didn't say anything, I was still too happy to be pregnant and didn't mind really.
Fast forward to me having lost my pregnancy and this friend is obviously still pregnant and I'm wallowing andfeeling a bit self indulgent and shit about myself, not really wanting to hear too much about her morning sickness and how bad it is (at this point I would give anything to have morning sickness) of course I say nothing, I'm very happy for her and there is nothing wrong with being excited and wanting to share that, I'm just a bit stuck on myself at the moment.
She and my mum hang out a lot, they swap clothes and coo over baby stuff and chat about her due date, and mum is always saying oh don't get that I've got one in the attic I've never used etc etc. Now I'm being hugely selfish and self absorbed here but that stuff was meant for me, she has taken the trouble to save it and keep it in good condition all these years just to give it away to someone else.
I feel like I'm being replaced, this friend is quite young, closer to my age really and my mum and i have quite a close relationship but they see each other almost every day and they swap clothes and do the stuff that we do together. I'm not saying my mum can't have friends that's not the issue at all and I know rationally I'm being insecure and petty but my hormonal, self blaming brain is screaming at me saying it's all your fault because you couldn't make the pregnancy work she is focussing on someone who is doing it properly and not causing her all these problems.
I don't know if I'm being crazy (I know I'm being a little crazy) or if this is quite a normal (if not rational) response after recent traumatic events.
AIBU?
To be behaving like such a jealous cow...
FrostyPopThePenguinLord · 05/03/2017 23:19
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