Advanced search think I'm a bad parent ?

(77 Posts)
Iamback234 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:03:18


So I have a 6 year old DD who has very severe eczema, especially on her hands and neck. Passengers stare and gawp at her, I've had several people come up to me to dismay how terrible her hands look, that it looks really bad and question what I'm doing about it ? ( I often get the sort of same remarks when I take her to the doctors).

What they don't know is that I've put DD on countless diets, dairy free, wheat free to help beat the eczema ( she does have actual allergens to this but they are not helping, though she is still on a wheat and dairy free diet), she has been seen by three dermatologist and is awaiting another appointment. I have tried various ointments and creams, we keep persisting with steroid creams though we don't use that often as they thin the skin.

I just feel so down about it, I do hate the way the eczema looks and feels on her skin but it does not help that people who don't know me point this out. Also, I have resorted telling DD to put her hands in her pocket ( I know, it's bad) as that's where the eczema is worse and people often look at them.

Am I not really doing enough to combat her eczema or am I just a bad parent that her eczema should of been sorted out long ago ?

Nocabbageinmyeye Sun 05-Mar-17 23:07:39

You are not a bad patent at all, people are just cheeky rude fuckers. My friends dd has itchyosis (I may have that spelled wrong) and the stories she tells me make my toes curl, from people looking/pointing/offering unwanted and inappropriate advice to berating them for how she looks. Its other people are the problem not you

feckitt Sun 05-Mar-17 23:10:02

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wando1986 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:18:28

UV light therapy and/or salt caves. Both pretty much cured my cousin's 'incurable' eczema.

Also she was checked for a fungal infection and overactive immune system responses first.

If she was a c-section birth, spent time in a baby ward, was raised in an uber sterile household or had antibiotics very early on in life that can also be a cause as her skin will be colonised by the wrong bacteria resulting in constant reactions.

Iamback234 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:22:35

feckitt Was that needed ?

Lindor Sun 05-Mar-17 23:23:20

you are a good caring parent. People can be ignorant and insensitive. We had similar when DS was small and suffered with eczema.

It's such a tricky condition to treat, and we found the medics often could not be exactly sure if it was eczema or something else. And when it gets bad it can take so long to heal.

You are doing everything you can. And it may take quite a few different approaches before things improve. I hope you find a good treatment/ diet soon. With DS I think it was mainly time/strict dairy free diet that sorted him. In the meantime you need some sort of response for the rude people. It can't be nice for your DD if people are doing this. Maybe a loud "what a shame some people have such bad manners" would stop them doing it again.

Pacha11 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:24:11

Stop sweets and megadose her on probiotics. Add sufficient amounts of supplements (vitamins and minerals) and I mean much larger than RDAs. Keep doing the diets. Increase veg, reduce meat. Stop steroids.

Iamback234 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:25:11

Never heard of salt caves Wando but I would look into it and slo the light therapy .

Pacha11 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:25:52

Wrap hands if this is a cause for distress.

Iamback234 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:27:49

Pacha11 I had to double read your post :D. I'm going to read up on probiotics..and yes I was thinking of stopping the steroids as once I stop using them, the eczema comes back up.

Biffsboys Sun 05-Mar-17 23:29:29

My ds has bad eczema , although not to the extent of your dd . After numerous lotions and potions from doctor I found 'dream cream ' from Lush works wonders .

Pacha11 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:30:50

You are not a bad patent. Just a desperate parent in a desperate situation. Keep looking for alternative treatments. Conventional medicine only deals with the symptoms, not the cause, in my experience. We overcame eczema with all that I have mentioned above. But you have to be persistant, because the moment you stop, it comes back...

Astro55 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:33:34

Try Aloe Vera plant - break the leaves and apply 3 times daily - it works wonders

Look at 'dream something cream from lush - expensive but great for washing hands

Avoid yellow or pink washing up liquid -

Wash in non bio washing powder

Watch what Shampoo has an effect of ai

Pacha11 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:35:13

Eczema is a symptom for an illness on the inside (gut disbalance/leaky gut). Creams only attempt to sooth the skin, most times they don't even work. Once you cure the cause, it is an absolute miracle how smooth the skin becomes without ANY creams whatsoever...

Iamback234 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:38:13

Thanks Pacha, I'm just reading up on the info you wrote down. Is too much probiotics harmful ? What vitamin supplements do you suggest ? DD does not have a dairy allergen but she has an egg allergy which is a bugger ! As the majority of gluten /wheat free stuff have egg in it ! Though our dietician didn't want DD to be placed on a dairy free diet as it's limiting her food options (she's a picky eater !).

Iamback234 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:39:42

Astro we use Surcare though I'm not sure if it's doing anything :s. I will try the leaves and the Lush cream.

Thanks smile

Rubies12345 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:44:35

Zinc from the supermarket cured my eczema

Iamback234 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:48:15

Thanks Rubies Do you mean Zinc the supplement ?

FloatyFlo Sun 05-Mar-17 23:49:56

Feckitt feck off!

LilQueenie Sun 05-Mar-17 23:51:00

lush dream cream cured my daughter in one go after a year of suffering. Also the dermatologist also told us the same about it being on the inside. Dream cream has a lot of oils that are absorbed so its possible it did something in and out.

Also ignore the people who ask questions. DD had it really bad on her face. All I got was oh no what happened to her. You have to do something about it. Yeah like I wasn't trying. its horrible because your DD is hearing negative stuff when she is the one who has to suffer others stupid and very wrong opinions.

PuddleJumper01 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:52:17

We had a foster child with eczema and asthma. The eczema was so bad she bled all over her body. The asthma - meh - she wheezed a bit if she was stressed. We got very good medical attention (you do if you're a foster carer) and they were absolutely not bothered by the eczema, even though it made her life an absolute misery (bleeding on her hands, behind her ears, on her neck, behind her knees, on her elbows - regularly - and in other places on her body as well when it flared up. Poor bloody kid!), because they saw it as an inconvenience to the patient, but not life-limiting (or potentially so). The ASTHMA they couldn't fall over themselves fast enough to give support with. It was N.O.T.H.I.N.G. in her life. But asthma can kill, so they only focussed on that.

A friend's daughter (who's eczema was even worse than my foster daughter's) had a sibling in Oz who sent her something that they use over there (which might well have been aloe vera) and the poor child was in hospital for 3 days having a massive allergic reaction.

Please be careful of what well-meaning strangers with experience but no medical training offer as solutions. Sorry to sound like a bitch.

LilQueenie Sun 05-Mar-17 23:53:20

and if she has it on her scalp lush do a great solid shampoo that helps with both eczema and psorasis. Its called soak and float and lasts for months.

user1469751309 Sun 05-Mar-17 23:53:45

Your not a bad parent at all it sounds like ur doing everything you possibly can but try to avoid telling her to put her hands in her pocket you don't want to give her a complex about it as she's probably self conscience enough about it. My DD had a huge birth mark on her leg that looks like a burn and if anyone makes any comment about it I just suggest that they get lost and tell her that she is beautiful as she is birthmark and all xxxxx

RandomMess Sun 05-Mar-17 23:56:30

I found organic sunflower oil with added Vit E was the best topically. It's supposed to be the most similar to natural skin oil - it's used for baby massage.

Agree it's about sorting out what's wrong on the inside, really tricky.

Solo Sun 05-Mar-17 23:56:37

Cutting out tomatoes and all citric acid fruits and also yoghurt sorted my Ds very quickly.

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