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To not let the dc choose who shares a room in new house?

(59 Posts)
Emeraldie Sun 05-Mar-17 09:53:51

We have 3ds's aged 10, 8 and 1. Currently in a 2 bed house...ds1 and 2 share a room and ds3 is still in his cot with me and Dh ATM.

We're about to move to a 3 bed house. It has one very large double, one average double and one large single bedroom. Dh and I have discussed and thought we'd give ds1 and 2 the large double, we'd have the other and ds3 the single.

Ds1 and 2 are not happy. Ds1 is desperate to have his own room and wants the single. And ds2 really wants to share with ds3.

We've said no and much begging and pleading has ensued from ds1 and 2.

Aibu to insist they share? ATM ds2 is completely happy to share with ds3 but it's a novelty which I'm certain will wear off...not many 12 year olds will be thrilled to share with a 5 year old who may mess with their stuff and have big plastic toys everywhere. I don't think it will be fair on ds1 to give him his own room and then force him out of it when the novelty of sharing with a baby wears off for ds2.

All round it's just much more practical for the older boys to share.

Would you put your foot down from the off or let them share as they want with the knowledge you'll probably be switching rooms around in the near future?

19lottie82 Sun 05-Mar-17 09:57:17

Why not go with what they want just now with the agreement that the situation is reviewed should any problems occur?

NotAPuffin Sun 05-Mar-17 09:57:43

I'd let them choose.

MrsJayy Sun 05-Mar-17 09:59:19

I would give your older son his own room see how it goes you can shift them about if it doesnt work out

Astoria7974 Sun 05-Mar-17 09:59:51

Give them what they want - I used to share with my 1 year old brother at 13.

Emeraldie Sun 05-Mar-17 10:00:17

Just for context too, there are no current issues with ds1 and 2 sharing. For the most part, they get on well, have lots of the same interests, enjoy the same games etc.

They support different football clubs and the main reason ds1 wants to share is so that he gets to decorate a whole room in bloody Man U, which won't be the case if they share as ds2 wouldn't allow it lol.

specialsubject Sun 05-Mar-17 10:00:49

Normally kids do as they are told - but in this case how about letting #2 share with the baby and see how long he enjoys that. If he does, fine. If not, they do as you are told because that's how many rooms there are.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Sun 05-Mar-17 10:01:11

Is it possible to subdivide the very large double, even if it's not into 2 completely separate rooms, just partition with ikea storage units?

teresa2003 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:01:40

Hmm difficult one. I suppose you could let them hace it their way for now but then it will ve more difficult to make them share again further down the line. DS1 will be a teenager by then and l personally wouldnt fancy telling a 15 yr old whose had his own room for last five years that he has to go back to sharing. Is there any way in the future that the largest bedroom could have a dividing wall made into two so DS2 and 3 can stay in that room but be seperate when they as you say start to grate on each other because of the age difference?

MrsJayy Sun 05-Mar-17 10:01:51

The younger boys would probably get on better when ds1 and 2 are teenagers

harderandharder2breathe Sun 05-Mar-17 10:02:04

Given the age differences, yanbu to insist on the older two sharing the biggest room. You can hopefully divide the space somehow (bookshelves etc) to give more privacy than they currently have.

If you let DS2 and 3 share and DS1 have his own room, then DS1 will (understandly) be really pissed off when the time comes that DS2 refuses to share with DS3 any longer. Because 7 years between the two youngest is a huge gap and is not going to be practical for long.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Sun 05-Mar-17 10:02:36

Just seen your football team update.
One side of the partition red, the other blue?

TizzyDongue Sun 05-Mar-17 10:03:33

I'd let them choose - it's they that have to live with it!! It'd be a dilemma would be both wanting to have their own room.

Ds2 might not get fed up!!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Sun 05-Mar-17 10:03:50

Trouble with two younger sharing is they will have vastly different bedtime routines for years

dowhatnow Sun 05-Mar-17 10:04:01

Subdivide the room with two large bookcases, one facing in to each room.

Emeraldie Sun 05-Mar-17 10:04:51

It's ds1 I worry about...although a switch in future would be his own fault as much as ds2s, he's very meticulous and forward planning. I can see his own room becoming his absolute pride and joy and him spending his own pocket money on doing it out perfectly with Man U wallpaper, matching curtains and accessories etc (which he's already priced up)...and to force him out of it in a years time would feel awful.

MrsMoastyToasty Sun 05-Mar-17 10:05:18

Put the eldest in his own room. He's going to need somewhere to study in a couple of years.

wildpoppiesanddaisies Sun 05-Mar-17 10:07:07

I don't understand why you would make two children unhappy when you could so easily make them happy!

Welshrainbow Sun 05-Mar-17 10:07:21

If use these to split the room so they all have their own space.

QueenOfTheCatBastards Sun 05-Mar-17 10:08:18

Ban football completely themed things other than duvet covers then they can be moved about as needed with no hit to any teen pockets.

Emeraldie Sun 05-Mar-17 10:08:24

The large double won't divide because the windows are in really odd places and it's a funny shape...the only divide would have two windows in one half and none in the other.

They have a football bedroom now, half red, half blue with their own posters etc above their beds but generic curtains/lampshade etc.

MissJSays Sun 05-Mar-17 10:08:53

I'd make DS 1 and 2 share but divide the room using 1 or 2 big ikea Kallax shelving units. You could let them be really creative with their half of the room:

Emeraldie Sun 05-Mar-17 10:12:39

Queen...I honestly hadn't considered that which is stupid of me. Yes, we could let ds1 have his own room but not allow him to buy lampshades and curtains etc...just posters and duvet which could be moved to shared...that will be an arguenent in itself though confused

Allthewaves Sun 05-Mar-17 10:13:16

I would let younger 2 share. My middle dc hates being alone in a room and happily shares with either of his brothers. We have room swap every couple of years but middle dc always shares.

Middles tolerates his baby brother much easier too. Perhaps say for the year then review - both our bedrooms are decorated - one green and one blue with posters in frames - we just swap the posters over when we have a room change. If you give the shares the largest double they can each have their own area for stuff

wildpoppiesanddaisies Sun 05-Mar-17 10:13:28

Also, and this won't be popular, but for future (when DS2 and DS3 want their own rooms too) I would personally get a sofa bed for the lounge. I do think children ideally should have their own space and it can be difficult when there isn't a clear marker (like different sex children) - so if you had two boys and a girl that's easier in a way but as it is somebody is always going to be at an 'advantage.'

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