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AIBU to resign...

(69 Posts)
Fruitbat1980 Sun 05-Mar-17 07:52:56

I find myself in a crappy work situation. The problem is two fold, one- the commute is ridiculous (think 6 to 7 hour round trip in car which I do 2 or three days a week). I knew it would be bad when I took role, but not that bad (told only needed there 2 days a week and trip should be 3-4 hour round trip but M25 is so bloody awful).
Two- my boss is awful. Never thanks you for anything, emotional intelligence is zero, expects me to be in all time even though agreed only 2 days a week, picks on one item like a scab and ignores the 300 plates me (and all his team) are spinning. He rants and raves at me (not criticising my work but rather that of my team. Their HR practices are shocking. I start dreading Monday morning on Saturday afternoon, which to me seems no way to live.
I need a job/ money, but do have savings which would keep us going a few months. But know it might not be so easy to get another job when unemployed. And should maybe stay and look for something while I'm there, but there aren't enough hours in the day. On the days I travel to the office it's a 14-15 hour day. I just don't think I can stick it anymore. It's seriously effecting my health, mentally and physically.
If really appreciate some outside perspectives? Just based on the above? I feel like if someone told me this I'd say your bloody mad, get out! But then I get sucked into the salary and the fear I'll look like a failure if I give up? Ps I have a 3 year old. I'm trying to 'have it all' and failing miserably.

StealthPolarBear Sun 05-Mar-17 07:56:04

I don't suppose you can move closer? I know that wouldn't solve all the problems but would help

BikeRunSki Sun 05-Mar-17 07:56:35

Resign!!! It's destroying you.
Perfectly acceptable to have a career break to spend time with your 3 year old!

BankWadger Sun 05-Mar-17 08:00:36

Isn't it better to resign and ise your time and energy finding a better job closer to home, than ending up signed off sick and being to burnt out to function

Inadays Sun 05-Mar-17 08:01:39

Sounds awful. Life is much too short to spend it exhausted and dreading every day. Resign now and begin living again! Good luck smile

Lilaclily Sun 05-Mar-17 08:01:59

I would resign too
I don't think a 14, 15 hour day is sustainable with a 3 year old, I mean when do you see your child sad

NormaSmuff Sun 05-Mar-17 08:03:23

i would usually say apply for other jobs, While you are working. It seems that those work are more successful in finding work than those not. plus if you are working and actively looking your mindset might be in a better place, knowing you are one step away from leaving.

ForalltheSaints Sun 05-Mar-17 08:03:47

See if you can make the journey by train (costly but preferable as you can have a snooze on the train), if not leave.

MillionToOneChances Sun 05-Mar-17 08:03:57

I would talk to a couple of recruiters and stick it out. Just for a while.

NormaSmuff Sun 05-Mar-17 08:04:24

be firm about your days off.
just take them.

NormaSmuff Sun 05-Mar-17 08:05:44

plus there is the psychological aspect may be of saying, Right, I am Leaving to do a different job.
rather than I am leaving too look for a different job.

Fruitbat1980 Sun 05-Mar-17 08:05:50

Thanks for replies so far. On the days I commute I don't see my son. (Well I sit on his bed and gaze at home when I get home) it's about the worst bit for me. I try to make up for it on the other days sad

NormaSmuff Sun 05-Mar-17 08:06:49

how lng hve you worked there?

Fruitbat1980 Sun 05-Mar-17 08:07:38

Train is a no go, I checked it out and would take 3 hours and 3 trains each way. So hardly any better and cost more.

AnarchyKitty Sun 05-Mar-17 08:08:06

Go. I had to leave a job with nothing lined up to save my mental health thanks to a bullying boss.

Fruitbat1980 Sun 05-Mar-17 08:08:46

6 months. Priory to that I'd been somewhere else a long time. Hadn't considered talking to recruiters as such, I fell into this role (they poached me) so not been 'out there' in the market really

hesterton Sun 05-Mar-17 08:09:22

Is there a higher boss who would listen? If your boss is a dick (which indeed he sounds to be) and they realise they are losing good members of staff because of him, might they support you?

If not, I would either fight him for what was promised or simply leave. This isn't sustainable so why drag on the agony.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Sun 05-Mar-17 08:10:06

Either you resign or the job kills you.
I'm assuming that it must be well paid, but frankly I'd prefer to be flipping burgers at the local McDonald's

Fruitbat1980 Sun 05-Mar-17 08:12:20

I did a stint in McDonald's as a teenager and loved it! Yes, excellent salary. Senior role.
Bosses boss is bosses best mate so would never listen (I discover I'm one in a long line who have quit under 12 months in)

Topnotes Sun 05-Mar-17 08:14:48

You can't go on like this. Capability Jane are a recruitment consultant who specialise is part-time work. Or use local recruitment agencies in your area. You don't say what your role is - many folk I know work from homeb- you may find an employer where that is an option. It'll only get harder when your LO starts school (reading practise etc most nights) so I would act now.

Fruitbat1980 Sun 05-Mar-17 08:15:59

I work in IT.

neonrainbow Sun 05-Mar-17 08:18:01

Resign now! Your mental health is more important.

Spadequeen Sun 05-Mar-17 08:18:47

Leave. No job is worth that.

My job is pretty full on and I find myself working longer hours than I'm paid to, however I love the job and most of my colleagues. However, my previous manager was horrendous and made the job hell, if she'd have stayed, I'd have gone. So not worth it.

HelloCanYouHearMe Sun 05-Mar-17 08:20:04

Write that resignation letter now OP

Please dont stay in a job you hate - as others have said, life is too short.

coconutpie Sun 05-Mar-17 08:21:48

Is there a boss higher up? So above your boss's boss? Could you talk to HR? Could you work from home instead every second week or something? Failing that, I'd resign. You can't go on like that.

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