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to expect good houseguest etiquette?

(102 Posts)
Runninglife Sun 05-Mar-17 06:48:08

I have a house guest at the moment who does no housework, no cooking, doesn't contribute any money to anything ever and I have to entertain her 24/7 and drive her around even though I can't afford the excessive petrol. I have told her all of these things bother me but she has ignored me and I continue to clean up after her and pay for all her meals and chauffeur her around. I'm not even earning money at the moment - it's all coming out of my savings and she's not even a close friend. My partner and I are just doing her a favour so she has a roof over her head.

ButtfaceMiscreant Sun 05-Mar-17 06:51:46

I think you know what you need to do. Sit her down, outline the additional costs of having her stay and ask for a contribution, either monetary or her doing household chores. Is she working? How long is she staying with you?

DancingPenguin1 Sun 05-Mar-17 06:51:46

How long has she been staying? You need to set some really clear expectations and make it clear she'll have to leave if she doesn't start pulling her weight / contributing. Set a rent and stop doing stuff / paying for her.

apacketofcrisps Sun 05-Mar-17 06:52:38

Say /do something then?!?

Monkeypuzzle32 Sun 05-Mar-17 06:55:04

You'll both have to say 'we need a contribution from you as we are struggling' don't be embarrassed -she clearly isn't!

Runninglife Sun 05-Mar-17 06:55:18

She's been here a month already. I told her she needs to do her washing up and keep the house tidy and that I can't afford to keep taking her out all the time but she just had a go at me and said I should be doing these things for her...

NoFucksImAQueen Sun 05-Mar-17 06:55:56

Stop doing it then!
Tell her to clean up
"It's your turn to do the dishes tonight" *big smile
"We're going to need x amount to pay towards your food and bills"

NoFucksImAQueen Sun 05-Mar-17 06:57:15

She had a go at you? shock
Tell her to get out!
Who is she? Is this going to be a drip feed that she's your step daughter or something

OliviaStabler Sun 05-Mar-17 06:58:39

Who is she and why is she with you? No one can help without further information.

Runninglife Sun 05-Mar-17 06:59:26

I've already told her all of this but she just ignores me. I guess the only other option is to tell her she has to leave... I just didn't realise having a house guest meant being their personal servant for the entire time they were staying with you confused

FrancisCrawford Sun 05-Mar-17 07:00:09

Go back to her and say

"You have outstayed your welcome. Pack your bags and go. now."

SaorAlbaGuBrath Sun 05-Mar-17 07:01:01

She's taking the piss, spectacularly. Tell her to sort out her attitude or leave. It's your home, you don't have to enable her ridiculous bratty behaviour. Tell her no!

GirlElephant Sun 05-Mar-17 07:03:26

What was the agreement of her staying? I.e. How long, why & what is your relationship?

Sunnyjac Sun 05-Mar-17 07:04:07

She's not your guest, you're helping her out and that favour needs returning. You and your partner sit her down, explain the terms on which she is allowed to stay in your home and find out her plans for finding her own accommodation

MoonGeek Sun 05-Mar-17 07:05:05

She needs to leave. Don't be too kind when explaining that to her, she hasn't been kind to you.

Runninglife Sun 05-Mar-17 07:06:30

Thanks for all the advise. I just didn't know if I was in the wrong and felt like I was going crazy! But when I've gone to stay with friends before I always offer to buy groceries/pay for meals/offer money for my staying there. I also make sure I keep things tidy and I help with vacuuming, washing up e.t.c. So when this all started it came as a real shock to me that someone could think they're entitled to a house maid/chef just because they're staying at my house!

fluffygreenmonsterhoody Sun 05-Mar-17 07:06:47

Is it your teenage child?

Avioleta Sun 05-Mar-17 07:07:13

God. Tell her to leave. Don't bother trying to explain again. She sounds like a shit friend. You've let her live with you, all expenses paid for a month now. Don't be a mug and let it continue.

perhapstomorrow Sun 05-Mar-17 07:08:34

She is taking advantage of you. You're going to have to tell her that this situation is working for you and that she will have to move out.

Backt0Black Sun 05-Mar-17 07:10:06

Been there suffered this. No good will come of it.

Firmly say you asked her to tidy up / contribute. She hasn't and she has to go.

Your money, your home, your time. She doesn't have an absolute right to any of it.

Trifleorbust Sun 05-Mar-17 07:12:16

You are talking about a friend, not your child? You do know that the reactions would be very different if this was an 18 year old dependent, don't you?

If this is for real and it is a 'friend', she sounds like a bully. Tell her to leave today.

Runninglife Sun 05-Mar-17 07:12:57

She's an old school friend who i haven't seen in years - we weren't close even when we were friends but she's travelling atm and working different jobs as she goes around and she's using our place to crash for a while. I did say she could stay for a few weeks originally so that doesn't bother me it's just that she is being lazy and expecting me to be her maid whilst she is here and she expects me to take her out as well and pay for it but I can't afford it. She begged to eat out the other night so assumed she would pay but then I ended up paying for both of us - I would've said no if I knew she wasn't going to pay.

DoingThisRight Sun 05-Mar-17 07:15:59

But the only fool here is you. Why on earth would you even think any of this is unreasonable?? Tell her to get out asap. Seriously you are just allowing this to happen.

ButtfaceMiscreant Sun 05-Mar-17 07:16:20

Grow a backbone and stop her taking advantage of you! Tell her to leave or, if you won't do that, tell her what she owes you for staying at your house and treating you like this.

esiotrot2015 Sun 05-Mar-17 07:17:08

How can you think any of this is ok?!

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