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To think ive messed up my chance of sleep for the next 16 years...

(16 Posts)
Moomoomango Sat 04-Mar-17 21:35:59

My lb is almost two - sleeps in my bed and breastfeeds to sleep. I recently night weaned him thinking that if he's not getting milk at night he he'd naturally stop waking up... only now he's still waking up 2 hourly but taking an age to get back to sleep .. so I'm even more tired. We've just been decorating his room and almost finished so can pop him in it ... but I dread sitting in his room for hours in the middle of the night singing twinkle sodding twinkle or patting his bum for hours on end... Aibu to think I'm basically screwed for sleep... forever..

hels71 Sat 04-Mar-17 21:45:17

My DD was still sleeping with us at 2...and night feeding. We did eventually night wean her not long after 2. she still woke frequently. At 34 months she suddenly decided she wanted her own room.....and even stopped her bedtime feed and slept through the night. She is now 9 and only comes in with me if she is ill or has had a bad dream, and no)t even then and that has been the case since 34 months. (apart from 2 weeks after i had been whizzed to hospital in the middle of the night and she woke to find me gone...there is hope!!!

TheSnowFairy Sat 04-Mar-17 21:45:41

It will pass in time.

Hold on to that thought wink

lakehouse Sat 04-Mar-17 21:45:57

He's 2. The kindest thing you can do is teach him how to sleep by himself now. No baby needs to be waking through the night once they are on solids. Such a modern phenomenon, all these parents ruining their children's sleep by never just letting them get on with it so they learn to sleep. Without sleep his daytime mood will be shitty too so you're not giving the poor kid a chance! Put him in his cot, in his own room and give him some space. Let him learn to settle and stop crowding him.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Sat 04-Mar-17 21:51:18

I stopped breastfeeding to sleep and overnight around that age and my toddler adjusted. Keep trying, it will click. Make sure he has had a good meal before bed so he isn't hungry, and he isn't getting cold overnight.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Sat 04-Mar-17 21:54:24

It's actually a modern phenomenon to sleep on your own, lake. Until the last 200 years or so it was common for the whole family to sleep together.

TheElephantofSurprise Sat 04-Mar-17 21:55:45

My dd is 34, sleeps in her own house, never wakes me at night. Don't worry, you'll get there.

Moomoomango Sat 04-Mar-17 22:09:43

I thank you it's reassuring that I'm not the only one to have left it this long to have a sleeping baby ... everyone thinks I'm mad when I say he still doesn't sleep through...

FatOldBag Sat 04-Mar-17 22:09:44

I co-slept and bf-ed both of mine for about 2 yrs each (dd 22mths, ds 26mths). They were both excited to go into their brand new beds and there was no sodding about arse patting or sitting in there all night. There was some getting into our bed at some point in the night but that fades out soon enough.

Hateloggingin Sat 04-Mar-17 22:22:06

My 7 year old is currently in bed asleep next to me <sigh> grin

WhooooAmI24601 Sat 04-Mar-17 22:33:58

DS1 rarely slept in our bed, never seemed to need it. DS2 is 6 and would be in with us every night given chance. I've laid down some ground rules (only one night a week and no messing about or you're evicted) and he's fine now. It took til he was 5 before he started sleeping for more than 3/4 hours at a time but he's a great sleeper now.

Lake I have to disagree about the "parents ruining the child's sleep" comment. DS2 slept better, was less grumpy and happier on the nights he co-slept as a toddler. Some children simply enjoy and need more contact. It's not crowding them, it's not detrimental to their development or emotional health, it's simply adapting to what they need. I'd rather a happy child than a lonely one. If we'd attempted to chuck DS2 into his own room as a tiny baby he'd have potentially felt isolated and abandoned. Humans evolved sleeping with their young. It's a very new thing that we have nurseries and separate sleeping rooms.

WicksEnd Sat 04-Mar-17 22:38:48

You're wrong.
In 16 years you'll be awake worrying if he's going to make it home ok after a party/club grin
Sorry!

GallivantingWildebeest Sat 04-Mar-17 22:45:53

Start sleep training! Tell him, 'no milk till morning, you don't need it, time to go to bed' and leave him to it. He does not need milk in the night aged 2! He will be much happier and more settled if he sleeps better.

No need to make a rod for your own back...

I did the same with Dd when she turned 12 months. Took two nights then she slept through.

laidbackmummy13 Sat 04-Mar-17 22:52:21

Currently have a 3.5yr old one side and a 1.5 yr old the other. (Cot up to bed as still nursing the youngest).
They are only little for a short time. They just need reassurance.

And I'm proof that apart from a small twitch you can kinda function on 3 hrs a night lol

But seriously. They grow out of it.

MoggieMaeEverso Sat 04-Mar-17 22:52:24

1. You've only recently night-weaned him. It can take a few weeks or even months for them to settle into the new rhythm.

2. You say "we've" just decorated so I assume there's a partner. Now that you're not breastfeeding, why has partner not taken over the night parenting? Apologies if you're both doing what works for you and have already considered this, but sometimes sleep deprivation can mask the obvious smile, especially if you've gotten into a rut. In our family I've always done the bulk of the night parenting until night weaning, then OH takes over for the next couple of years (and has the easier end of the deal!).

3. It seems like it will never end. You think you will never sleep again. It's soul destroying. But it will end and you will have proper sleep again. You will even be able to stay up late watching Netflix and drinking wine and still feel rested in the morning. Hang in there.

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 Sat 04-Mar-17 23:54:39

MoggieMaeEverso said everything I was going to say. You will be fine eventually.

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