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Aibu to tell my 7.5yr old birds and bees?

(86 Posts)
Almostrubbish Sat 04-Mar-17 20:21:14

I've been asked repeatedly this week so told my 7.5yr basics of sex. He knew that a man did something with a woman so I explained the anatomical implication, that it was fun but for grown ups, that it was okay to find it disgusting at 7 but one day he would be interested and a bit about consent/legality/age not always to have babies etc. What age did your children find out and how? Should I worry that he's going to explain to his 5yr old sibling before we get the chance? Does that matter? I am Curious as to other people's experiences and keen to know if there's anything specific I should add for safe guarding or other reasons? He didn't believe me at first and thought it sounded difficult to do (very sweet was relieved he was too alarmed although not enamoured).

ferriswheel Sat 04-Mar-17 20:23:23

I think you did the right thing but am interested as to how others respond.

Have you found a good way of exposing a sanitary towel?

Oysterbabe Sat 04-Mar-17 20:26:09

My DD is still a baby but I was aware of the basics from a very young age, probably 6? I grew up on a farm and asked a lot of questions when the animals were giving birth.

Sleeperandthespindle Sat 04-Mar-17 20:26:13

I thought I'd already told my 7.5 year old this, but she obviously hadn't got it as she asked me again the other night. She said she already knew it was 'something from the daddy joining with something in the mummy and then growing into a baby in the mummy' and also knew how 'it gets out'. But wanted to know 'how did it get in the mummy?'. She thought I was joking at first when I told her!

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 04-Mar-17 20:28:24

My 6 year old knows the basics. She knows private areas are private and how eggs, sperm, penises and vaginas work. She also know that babies can come out your vagina or be taken out by doctors (she was a CS). I wish people would stop saying, "baby in tummy" type things because I have to remind her about uteri every time.

However, despite explaining this, she is convinced that her eggs are sentient and when it's cold she covers her ovaries up and says, "my babies are cold". hmm

BToperator Sat 04-Mar-17 20:30:30

Of course YANBU. In the same way as you would answer if you had been asked about how food is digested, it is perfectly fine to be explaining reproduction. I think it would be unreasonable to refuse to answer reasonable questions about bodily functions.

IWillOnlyEatBeans Sat 04-Mar-17 20:33:34

My 7 yr old DS knows the basics (sperm + egg = baby). He knows that the sperm are made in his testicles. He knows what periods are. I briefly mentioned about the mechanics of sex but am not sure how much he grasped!

BikeRunSki Sat 04-Mar-17 20:34:36

DS was also 7.5 when I felt that I needed to tell him. He knew bits beforehand as he has a younger sister and was curious to know about more about where she'd come from; he also once found a box of tampons in my glove compartment and we had a chat about what they were and why I had them. He'd also seen lambs bring born but knew that when he was born, the doctor need led to cut me open to pull him out.

I told him simply what he needed to know, and got him a book, recommended by a friend with a child the same age, which he devoured and then asked lots of relevant Qs, ^Where Willy Went".

Mynestisfullofempty Sat 04-Mar-17 20:35:05

This thread just reminded me that I was listening to a woman on the radio today who mentioned, in passing really, that her mother had explained what an orgasm is when she was 5 years old! I did think that was a bit young.

Rollonbedtime7pm Sat 04-Mar-17 20:35:40

I had a baby last year so DS (7) and DD (4) learnt a lot about sex and pregnancy. I had to also explain recently about periods as they saw blood in the toilet.

I think it's absolutely the right thing to do to be honest with kids, in an age appropriate way, rather than risk them learning a load of rubbish from their mates or the Internet.

I find they ask the question, are interested in the answer and then don't give it another thought! I just ask them to talk to me or their dad if they want to rather than at school, in case other parents take exception to it.

Blossomdeary Sat 04-Mar-17 20:36:15

Mine all knew at that age. They do tend to find it unbelievable or funny - that's OK. Can't think why you might be worried about him telling your 5 year old - it will save you a job!

paxillin Sat 04-Mar-17 20:36:34

I would explain it to the 5 year old sibling, too.

DJBaggySmalls Sat 04-Mar-17 20:39:05

Of course YANBU, its the right time when they ask.
I grew up around animals and had seen them mating and giving birth from a much earlier age. I vaguely assumed when people did it it was the same way round, so when it was explained to me that was a surprise grin

blubberball Sat 04-Mar-17 20:40:23

I'm grateful for this, as I was worried that explaining to my 9 year old was a bit young. It has come up in the past before, but I don't think that he really took anything on board. He asked recently, and obviously understood the answers a lot more. I told him that it was illegal to have sex until he was 16. Just have to answer questions and stick to the facts I suppose.

MommaGee Sat 04-Mar-17 20:45:55

I wish people would stop saying, "baby in tummy" type things because I have to remind her about uteri every time.

Pardon?

WigglyWooWorm Sat 04-Mar-17 20:49:25

Baby in tummy is fine!

I've explained to my children, but worry other parents won't like my children knowing or talking about sex.

Do you tell the children that you have sex?

Millybingbong Sat 04-Mar-17 21:00:52

That is a mumsnet classic

I wish people would stop saying, "baby in tummy" type things because I have to remind her about uteri every time.

Koala101 Sat 04-Mar-17 21:06:39

What's a uteri?? Don't you mean uterus? there is nothing wrong with "baby in tummy"!!!

AYankinSpanx Sat 04-Mar-17 21:08:58

I found it harder not to explain the basics. Like most kids, mine (I have two at similar ages to yours OP) like learning about nature and so on, and one with an obsessive love of learning about the human body and anatomy etc.

Any kids encyclopaedia will have basic reproductive stuff in it, so it seems weird to let them literally learn about birds and bees, but not themselves!

I presented it all as basic, factual stuff. The emotional and social responsibilities-type stuff is a separate minefield thing though.

Almostrubbish Sat 04-Mar-17 21:09:31

I didn't call it sex which I might have to update at an alternative time. I told him about the willy going into the vagina and the egg and sperm. He was pretty perplexed at first. But I did say don't worry grown ups do it for fun not just to have babies. He also asked at blood at birth which he didn't fancy at all as he's rather squeamish. Not got to periods yet but I guess I should make a point of that too.

Almostrubbish Sat 04-Mar-17 21:12:02

Yes I think his interest is anatomy and nature too. Don't want to stifle that. They are funny things. It's still very magical having a baby to them

ScarlettFreestone Sat 04-Mar-17 21:15:08

My two have always known about periods. (difficult to take toddler twins to the loo without them finding out!)

They asked about babies at 5yo and we told them.

Our rule is if they ask, we tell (in an age appropriate way).

Sweets101 Sat 04-Mar-17 21:16:44

We have a book for children that shows the full details, right up to the baby flying out at the end. It was mine from when I was little, always around, and it's always been left about since my first was a baby. They haven't asked me any questions yet though

PrincessHairyMclary Sat 04-Mar-17 21:18:06

Dd has known about sexual reproduction since she was 4 or 5, known all the anatomical words and how it works. I work in a Secondary High School science dept and spend a lot of my time talking about reproduction of one type or another so doesn't seem overly odd to me

PrincessHairyMclary Sat 04-Mar-17 21:19:45

There's a good video on YouTube, you don't see the penis but it shows the sperm swimming to the egg and the development of the baby which my DD found fascinating.

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