There's lots of other back story here but in an effort to make things simple I'll try and keep it short.
I have a very limited support network, my mum died before I met my husband and I've always been offered support by my in laws who are separated.
When I was expecting dc 1 my mil said whatever I needed she was there etc.
Her partner's son got a gf who immediately got pregnant. She has a huge family nearby, as well as her partner's mum etc as well, however she decided that she only wanted mil's help and she constantly had drama, sickness, family drama, relationship drama, to the point that if I was with mil she would have to leave 9 out of 10 times to sort her out. At the time I was ok, coping etc.
Since we had our children she's treated my mil like a free babysitter, found out our important dates and booked babysitting specifically on those dates so we've not been able to go out. Fair enough etc. Mil ended up having to spend several Xmas dinners with their family because this girl threatened to stop letting them see the gc unless they went etc. So my dc hasn't spent Xmas with her own grandparents and my husband with his own mum.
This girl is a lot of health problems and was told, quite categorically, she will be putting herself in danger if she was to become pregnant again. Her partner has said he doesn't want any more kids. End of. She then posted on lots of groups about the best way to conceive etc and what can she get financially support wise if she left her partner etc. Said she would probably be moving in with his parents (?!) and now refers to my mil and her partner as mummy and daddy.
Made a joke that when we found out we were expecting dc# 2 that's if she got wind of it she'd get a call saying "oh I'm pregnant again". Went out of my way for her not to find out (blocked social media platforms, limited mutual friends who knew and gave mil and her partner instructions not to tell).
Lo and behold she found out and she's now pregnant. I've struggled a lot with this pregnancy and I've needed a lot of help, especially for my dc but once again I'm finding that this girls problems are outweighing any issues I'm having and despite my husband having word with his mum, the severity and drama of this other girl is meaning I kept being left in the lurch.
I know the sensible option is to basically not rely on or expect from my mil at all, but I haven't got anybody else I can lean on. My dad is elderly and infirm. My husband has to work a lot and my fil does more than enough.
I feel so childish but it's really getting to me that this girl is this huge support network, she's always out with friends, big family occasions etc and even though she knows the situation she seems to do it out of spite and attention. Mil is behaving a bit stupidly but she's a good person and if you were faced with "I've not slept all night as dc has been up. I feel horrendous and won't stop being sick" and "I'm having a miscarriage" you'll obviously go to the second one's aid even if it's a boy crying wolf situation.
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AIBU?
AIBU to think this girl is crackers
137 replies
glitterglitters · 04/03/2017 07:13
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