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To think my friends should have her daughter more

(95 Posts)
TwistedHeart Fri 03-Mar-17 23:12:58

Basically I'm god mother to my best friends daughter who's 2, I have her every weekend from Friday until Sunday which I don't mind as I love spending time with her. My friend has had a rough time lately she lost two close family members so I've been helping out more and having the little one through the week aswell. The thing is she lives with her partner who never seems to have the little one either. I feel bad for my God daughter because she must miss them. I don't know how to bring it up with my friend as she's still very fragile so any advice on how to approach the subject would be appreciated

WildBelle Fri 03-Mar-17 23:16:13

Sounds like an odd arrangement. How long have you been having her at the weekends for? What is your friend doing at the weekends instead of having her daughter?

AnyFucker Fri 03-Mar-17 23:16:23


khajiit13 Fri 03-Mar-17 23:18:28

Every weekend?

WorraLiberty Fri 03-Mar-17 23:19:47

Define 'having a rough time'.

Has it caused her to have a breakdown or slip into sever depression or something?

If not, having someone else's child for that amount of time every single week is imo, rather weird.

WorraLiberty Fri 03-Mar-17 23:20:00


ollieplimsoles Fri 03-Mar-17 23:20:59

Sorry....what the hell?

gamerchick Fri 03-Mar-17 23:21:03

You have her most of the week then?

Karmaisabitch Fri 03-Mar-17 23:21:12

Sounds like she's taking the piss.

I'd simply say "so when are you actually going to start being a Mum to your kid?"

pieceofpurplesky Fri 03-Mar-17 23:22:18

Is the partner the child's dad?

Permanentlyexhausted Fri 03-Mar-17 23:22:34

Sorry - you're not the godmother, you're the unpaid live-out nanny.

Mrsknackered Fri 03-Mar-17 23:24:01

Think we need more info. Has this always been the arrangement?
What if you have plans on a weekend?
I can understand why she might need a break in the circumstances but that's a long time to be away from your child and I don't think it will be good for either of them in the long run.
Lovely that you have such love for your goddaughter though.

MsPavlichenko Fri 03-Mar-17 23:24:22

You sound like Cheryl in the Royale Family.

MsPavlichenko Fri 03-Mar-17 23:25:51


MiddleClassProblem Fri 03-Mar-17 23:28:12

Sounds bizarre!

PinkFluffiUnicorn Fri 03-Mar-17 23:28:37

Maybe Just start telling them that you can't have your god daughter as much, like only the Friday night?

AnyFucker Fri 03-Mar-17 23:30:47

This is essentially a private fostering arrangement

Social Services need to know about this for their records

stiffstink Fri 03-Mar-17 23:32:24

You have her 2 nights and 2 days a week every week?! What do you do if you want to do something at the weekend? Where does she sleep at your house? Who sorts out her food and clothes?

This is bonkers, where is her actual non-resident parent in all this?

JustifiedSinner Fri 03-Mar-17 23:33:25

But you're the one enabling this situation you so disapprove of, by acting as an unpaid foster career for this child.

JustifiedSinner Fri 03-Mar-17 23:34:06

Carer, not career.

buzzmoon Fri 03-Mar-17 23:37:01

What does she do st weekends?

SoTheySentMeA Fri 03-Mar-17 23:37:52

OP can you give any more information without outing yourself? What problems has she had exactly? Does she have boundary issues? Why does she feel leaving her daughter with you so much is justifiable? Godparents are not intended to be used as free childcare...

Benedikte2 Fri 03-Mar-17 23:38:30

Is your friend pleased to see her DD when you take her home or is she not bothered? Your goddaughter is lucky to have someone like you who cares for her but her mother needs to start to parent. Do you have your own DC OP?

littlefrog3 Fri 03-Mar-17 23:38:37

We have all had problems and all lost someone and we have all had to carry on being parents.

Your 'friend' is taking the piss OP!

CountClueless Fri 03-Mar-17 23:39:48

So she lives with you then?

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