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To ask you what you class as emotional/mental abuse?

(6 Posts)
esmaesmomma Fri 03-Mar-17 17:24:42

I think a close friend of mine is being emotionally abused I want to talk to her but I'm struggling to articulate it properly.

What behaviours do you all think come under emotional abuse?

Trifleorbust Fri 03-Mar-17 17:29:42

There are many behaviours. It might be more productive for you to describe the situation?

winekeepsmesane Fri 03-Mar-17 17:32:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DJBaggySmalls Fri 03-Mar-17 17:35:58

Abuse is an intentional behaviour intended to control or cause harm. It can be hidden behind fake acceptable behaviours such as fake concern for well being. It can be so well hidden that it is difficult to perceive or challenge, but only for a time; over time it will become apparent as a pattern.

Welshmaenad Fri 03-Mar-17 17:43:38

The Duluth wheel is a good tool for identifying coercive control.

missymayhemsmum Fri 03-Mar-17 20:47:52

Shouting and swearing at her, calling her names, finding fault and criticising whatever she does, trying to stop her/ discourage her from spending time with her friends and family. Telling her what to do/not do. Telling her she is stupid/ill/mistaken/irresponsible. Making her afraid. Controlling her phone use/ opening her post/reading her emails. Alternating loving behaviour with anger and making everything her fault. Interfering with her work life.
Lying or gaslighting, trying hard to provoke her to anger/bad behaviour so he can 'fix' her/ justify his own anger or violence, identifying that she has 'issues' (and therefore can't trust her own judgement), sulking, refusal to engage in family life if she has 'offended' him. Controlling what she wears/ eats/does, where she goes. Forcing/persuading her into sexual activity she doesn't want or enjoy, jealousy about past partners, friends, workmates etc.
Any of that really.

What makes you think she is being abused?

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