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..or is this really passive aggressive twattishnes?

(85 Posts)
RubbishMantra Thu 02-Mar-17 22:10:49

My DH died not long ago. SIL (DH's sister) made his life a merry hell. He supported her business, on the guise of it was his business also, even though he wasn't allowed access to accounts etc.
We both bought similar amounts of money into our marriage, and he decided he wanted to stop siphoning his funds into her business. He was told he "was taking food out her children's mouths". She has a trust fund.

I mentioned to her a few days ago that I'd needed to see a financial advisor (making my will at the moment). She texted back, "pleased there are silver linings for you!" No, there really aren't. I feel as if she's insinuating I profited from DH's death. I miss him every day.

My first AIBU, so please don't be too hard on me.

coolaschmoola Thu 02-Mar-17 22:13:05

YANBU - she's foul.

TheSnowFairy Thu 02-Mar-17 22:15:04

Ignore her. Sorry for your loss flowers

Frillyhorseyknickers Thu 02-Mar-17 22:15:10

I would actually pull her up on that fairly sharply. What an arsehole, you've just lost your husband, there are no fucking linings, silver or otherwise. I'm incensed for you.

WhereYouLeftIt Thu 02-Mar-17 22:16:08

Oh Lord. She is horrible.

(((hugs))) OP. My sympathies for your loss.

LoupGarou Thu 02-Mar-17 22:16:39

shock YAdefinitelyNBU! What a horrific thing to say. flowers So sorry about your DH.

MaidOfStars Thu 02-Mar-17 22:16:50

The only response is: Fuck. Off.

It's not PA, it's cuntesque.


BillDoor Thu 02-Mar-17 22:17:12

She's a cowbag.
Sorry you have to go through this.
I got a large cheque when my OH died.
It sat unused in my bank for 3 years, I couldn't bear to touch it. Some people just don't get it. angry

Schwifty Thu 02-Mar-17 22:17:36

Wow, if she's grieving too she's got a funny way of showing it! Sincere condolences to you OP flowers

RubbishMantra Thu 02-Mar-17 22:17:43

Thank you for reassuring me I'm not losing my shit. I did reply with "How could there possibly be a silver lining to losing DH?"

AnyFucker Thu 02-Mar-17 22:18:17


If you feel up to it, you would be justified in verbally removing her head from her body

CatsRidingRollercoasters Thu 02-Mar-17 22:18:33

Pull her up on that for sure! What a bitch.

Sorry for your loss OP flowers

IMurderedStampyLongnose Thu 02-Mar-17 22:19:25

That's horrendous,she's a bitch.Sorry for your

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 02-Mar-17 22:19:53

flowers That's not PA, that's truly repulsive.

DJBaggySmalls Thu 02-Mar-17 22:24:18

Thats not even passive, just aggressive. How have you not pushed a giant cream cake into her face before now?

Sincere condolences on your loss flowers

harderandharder2breathe Thu 02-Mar-17 22:24:51

Yanbu she's a cunt

Sorry for your loss flowers

RubbishMantra Thu 02-Mar-17 22:24:54

"Cuntesque" I'll remember that when thinking about her behaviour.

Like you @BillDoor. I've only just now begun to make tentative enquiries about what to do with our money, nearly 2 years later. I'm still very avoidant about it though.

She's trying to insinuate I benefitted from DH's, isn't she?

meganorks Thu 02-Mar-17 22:25:40

Not even passive. I'm glad you replied. What an arsehole.

RubbishMantra Thu 02-Mar-17 22:26:09

*...insinuate I benefitted from DH's death I mean.

YorkieDorkie Thu 02-Mar-17 22:26:46

So sorry OP. YADNBU she sounds like a class A twat. Let's hope she's a MNer flowers.

MaidOfStars Thu 02-Mar-17 22:27:06

Yes, that's exactly what she's saying (not insinuating).

SaucyJack Thu 02-Mar-17 22:27:26

Do you need to remain in contact with her?

SleightOfMind Thu 02-Mar-17 22:28:51

There's nothing passive about it! That's an aggressively horrible thing to say.
Well done for putting her back in her box so calmly. Your response was dignified and gentle - much more than she deserved.

BastardGoDarkly Thu 02-Mar-17 22:29:21

Fucking cow. What a vile thing to say.

Do you have to have contact with her?

YouJumpIJumpJack Thu 02-Mar-17 22:30:31

She's sound horrid! I imagine you're already going through enough without her crap flowers

You know the truth about her and does it matter what someone like her really thinks? But well done on your reply!

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