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AIBU?

To wear my 'baby on board badge' when I'm not pregnant

128 replies

Southeastlondonmum · 02/03/2017 21:15

Regular poster, have name changed. Have been debating this issue for sometime.
I have a problem that makes it difficult to stand and walk. It's being investigated and I am may have to have a significant operation but the NHS is very slow. I'm in pain most of the time but the main thing that makes it worse is my commute. I have to travel at peak time and although I have changed my route to involve the least walking and I work from home twice a week, I'm standing on the tube up to 2 hours a day. It's killing me. I don't have a stick and look externally fine. I often ask for a seat but it gets exhausting to have to ask three times each journey to sit down (changes). Today I stood for two hours and I can barely walk now. My friend thinks I should wear my old 'baby on board' but despite the pain, I think it's immoral.
Thoughts?
(By the way, if anyone knows how to get the new TFL 'less able to stand' badge please let me know)

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Crispbutty · 02/03/2017 21:17

Use a stick. It really will help to lean on it if you have to stand. It also may make other passengers realise you struggle to stand too.

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DoomGloomAndKaboom · 02/03/2017 21:17

I would get a stick, personally. You can get ones that fold up.

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BendingSpoons · 02/03/2017 21:18

I think they were trialling some 'I need a seat' badges?

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RoboticSealpup · 02/03/2017 21:18

I'd get a crutch.

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Iamastonished · 02/03/2017 21:19

A third vote for a stick. My sister has a fold up one.

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Southeastlondonmum · 02/03/2017 21:19

I'm not actually sure a stick would help. Though I take the point it's worth a try and may attract attention...

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Crispbutty · 02/03/2017 21:19

You can get really cool sticks too now. Debenhams and John Lewis have some bright colourful Ones that are fold up too.

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WillowGreen · 02/03/2017 21:19

TFL have badges for passengers with hidden disabilities. Could you get one of those instead.

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Rhayader · 02/03/2017 21:20

Imagine bumping into someone you know...

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dementedma · 02/03/2017 21:20

Baby on board is super tacky even if you are Pg. Why don't you take/use a stick?

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Southeastlondonmum · 02/03/2017 21:20

bending it seems like a trial and I don't know how to get hold of one

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Crispbutty · 02/03/2017 21:21

I get really bad sciatica occasionally and a stick to shift weight into when standing has really made a difference.

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BendingSpoons · 02/03/2017 21:21

Yep just looked, they are actually 'Please give me a seat' badges.

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Palegreenstars · 02/03/2017 21:21

Hey, my doc was telling me today about a 'priority seat' card you can get on Southern, which you can apply for on their website. Maybe other transport links have similar?

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Southeastlondonmum · 02/03/2017 21:21

Have thought about bumping into people including colleagues but most people know about my ongoing condition

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Avioleta · 02/03/2017 21:22

The OP has said she doesn't think a stick will help. Personally, I think the OP needs a seat on the tube more than the majority of other users. Does it really matter if someone is offering her a seat becuse she has a 'baby on board' badge or a 'less able to stand' one? The end result is the same. Yes, you are not pg, but you do need to sit down so I think you should use your badge while you investigate getting one for hidden disabilities.

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5moreminutes · 02/03/2017 21:23

Don't wear the baby on board badge - do people even stand for those? I'd be surprised if many did. Agree get a fold up stick you can keep in your bag - dual purpose to actually lean on and as a far more noticeable "badge" / signal that you can't stand as well as others.

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OddShoe · 02/03/2017 21:24

I don't think it's immoral. I'm pregnant with dc3 at the moment but I don't have any health problems so could easily stand on the tube, your need would trump mine!

Otherwise you could take a fold up stick so you can just put it in your bag if you don't need it while walking.

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Trills · 02/03/2017 21:26

Baby on board is super tacky even if you are Pg

No it's not. It's really helpful.

Polite and alert people will see it and offer you a seat.

Less polite or less alert people will respond more quickly to your request for a seat, if the request is associated with a visible reason for your asking.

Do the people doubting the usefulness of these actually use public transport?

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HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 02/03/2017 21:26

Well, if you need to sit down, I wouldn't mind whether you achieve that by asking, a stick, a less able to stand badge, or an inaccurate baby badge. An honest approach is best, but if that isn't feasible I wouldn't resent you using a baby badge.

Until I was extremely pregnant I still had to ask for a seat though, I think commuters can be in their own little world and not notice you. I know what you mean about finding the asking exhausting. I started asking the moment I got on, before I had time to think about it and start feeling shy/ awkward. It became automatic- step on, ask for a seat.

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Trills · 02/03/2017 21:26

It's not more immoral than using a parent-and-child parking space if you have no child but do have an injury/illness.

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RustyPaperclip · 02/03/2017 21:27

I really feel for you. DH has an ongoing condition which makes standing incredibly painful at times. He has recently been working in London and has had to use crutches and I was shocked that people rarely offer him a seat. It worries me how people cope commuting with less visible mobility issues. I am guilty of zoning out on a morning commute but I always try to be aware of people around me who might need a seat. I wasn't aware of the 'less able to stand badges' but they sound like a good idea. It might be immoral, but do what you can to cope Smile

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5moreminutes · 02/03/2017 21:27

I don't think it's immoral either, just not the most effective way of going about getting a seat. Also you'll inevitably sit next to a heavily pregnant lady if you do get a seat and she'll be the only chatty commuter in London and try to engage you in baby talk for 2 hours...

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lalalalyra · 02/03/2017 21:29

I think people are more likely to notice a stick than a badge tbh.

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SparklyLeprechaun · 02/03/2017 21:31

I can't see the problem with wearing the badge, but I think a stick would be better. I've got back problems, on bad days I use a stick, I always get offered a seat (I feel awkard declining), people are careful to make way for me. It works like magic.

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