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MIL enforced diet - I know IANBU, but I need to vent!

(302 Posts)
winobaglady Thu 02-Mar-17 18:28:18

My in laws are lovely, I enjoy visiting them. We see them about every 3 months for a long weekend.

But oh man, at mealtimes.... she cooks a lovely dinner, dishing up tasty treats from her kitchen, but... why oh why does my DH and my FIL get 4 or 5 juicy slices of chicken breast and she dishes me and her 1 bit of breast and a thigh? Hos come the boys get 4 roast potatoes and the girls get 2? Same with veg, and desert.

And wine, if DH has a second glass - well "that''s boys". If I manage to get a second glass it's "now, you don't want to overdo it".

Argh! Just. Why?

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Thu 02-Mar-17 18:31:19

Next time pinch a slice from dh plate!!

Semaphorically Thu 02-Mar-17 18:32:45

She tells you what to eat?? I'd politely reply "please don't police my eating" (and steal food from DH's plate).

WaegukSaram Thu 02-Mar-17 18:32:56

What does she say when you ask for more?

ZacharyQuack Thu 02-Mar-17 18:33:11

Just wait until everyone has been served then just obviously swap plates with your DH

Aeroflotgirl Thu 02-Mar-17 18:33:47

I hate this old fashioned and out of date attitude, where men get served first, and the best bits. Tell her that you don't like thigh and leg, that you would like some chicken breast and more potatoes.

Basicbrown Thu 02-Mar-17 18:33:49

Just ask for more. My mil 'used' to do this, I was confused. Yanbu why would you think you are being unreasonable?

winobaglady Thu 02-Mar-17 18:34:48

Semaphorically - it's only when we are at theirs.
I do actually have DH trained well (ok, he's considerate) and he offers me some of his.

Just makes me feel a bit like a porker!

oleoleoleole Thu 02-Mar-17 18:35:04

It's the way she's been brought up. But there's nothing stopping you politely asking for a larger serving and on having a second glass of wine remarking that you're not overdoing it but having a social drink.

HecateAntaia Thu 02-Mar-17 18:37:03

you need your husband on board.

oh. you dont have enough. have one of my roasties, then we have three each.
hey, thats not a lot of chicken, here, have a slice of mine. mum, stop trying to starve my wife. me and dad dont do 12 hour shifts down the pit you know.

ShesAStar Thu 02-Mar-17 18:37:23

My PIL always give DH lovely slices of breast and I always get a leg, I guess they just like him more grin

alfagirl73 Thu 02-Mar-17 18:37:31

Half the number of roasties?! That in itself should be a criminal offence! Have you ever asked for the same as the men? What was the reaction?

HecateAntaia Thu 02-Mar-17 18:37:47

xpost.
good. thats what he should do. well done 😁

expatinscotland Thu 02-Mar-17 18:38:18

Penis portion! Your DH needs to give you some of his and when she makes remarks, he steps up and says, 'Mum, don't be ridiculous.'

JustCallMeKate Thu 02-Mar-17 18:39:44

My MIL used to do the 'ladies' portion thing, until one night I got sick of it as I was really hungry. I waited until she'd dished up then swapped DH's plate with mine. I never received a small portion again.

Semaphorically Thu 02-Mar-17 18:39:45

me and dad dont do 12 hour shifts down the pit you know

^^ this!! grin

pollyglot Thu 02-Mar-17 18:40:56

I thought this preferential treatment of males was a thing of the past. Seems it's still alive and well. Ask for more.

TheProblemOfSusan Thu 02-Mar-17 18:42:05

She's totally out of order, of course. I think asking for some more and having your husband back you up is the way forward but easier said than done. Plus unless she's getting mini chickens surely there's enough to share of the breast?

But in the household I grew up in, leg and other brown meat were sought after and breast was the rubbish cut - fine by me as it's my favourite. Mind you my mum would take the leg.

NoArmaniNoPunani Thu 02-Mar-17 18:43:44

My mum does this. Even my ten year old nephew gets a bigger portion than me because 'he's a man' hmm

Inertia Thu 02-Mar-17 18:45:22

Swap your plate with your husband's - you'd need to pre-warn him that you were going to do it though , so he didn't moan.

HakeLively Thu 02-Mar-17 18:45:33

My grandma used to buy everyone else fish fingers and my Dad got cod steaks. Or we'd get sausages and he'd get a juicy pork chop! She did the same for her husband before he died.

LakieLady Thu 02-Mar-17 18:45:46

Ask for more, because her cooking is just so very tasty.

She'll be flattered, and have to be downright not to oblige.

KarmaKit Thu 02-Mar-17 18:48:10

My mum does this. She is constantly on one diet or another and seems to think all women should be, no matter what their size. My DH and dad get huge portions and I get her tiny diet size plate, a thin sliver of meat and a few veggies. I have to ask for mashed potatoes and Yorkshires (she cooks them, she just doesn't give them to me) and she gives me disapproving looks and mutters about "watching one's figure". Then it's "there's plenty more Mr Kit, please help yourself!" only to dh.

Conversely, she always gives me loads of pudding, when I don't really have a sweet tooth and would gladly forgo it altogether in favour of a proper sized dinner!

TyneTeas Thu 02-Mar-17 18:48:44

There was a pretty lovely thread about this a while ago you might enjoy grin

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a2575470-Re-The-sharing-out-of-meat

Pineappletastic Thu 02-Mar-17 18:49:56

My MIL is quite enlightened, so portions aren't generally -that- uneven, but if there is a roast potato imbalance the boys will get one more, especially my DH cos he's skinny. I have been known to say 'fuck that, I have been at work all day/am pregnant/need the calories for bf/am greedy an nick it from him.

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