Talk

Advanced search

Ex is a twat

(8 Posts)
user1488460762 Thu 02-Mar-17 13:34:11

So im new here but i need an opinion as to whether my ex is a twat or i am unreasonable. So we split up a few days after i found out i was pregnant with DD (now 5) because it was an unhealthy relationship. He didnt see her until she was 3 (his choice) but started to have contact. At 1st he would come regularly, but over the last 12 months he has become ridiculous. He constantly cancels, turns up late or if he does come she is back after 45 minutes. He is late for the school run, or tells me 5 minutes before school ends that he isn't coming, he has never given, nor have i ever asked for any money towards DD but he will take her to the park in her school uniform and shoes in the pissing rain etc, he leaves her hats and gloves in his car and i never get them but regularly see pics of his younger kids in them, and several other things.
My latest problem is this. Last week he was supposed to collect DD from school, i was working later than usual so rang him at 2.30 to check and he said he was definately going. So at 3.45 when school rang, imagine my horror that the bastard hadnt turned up! I had no call or text, neither did school. Work is a 40 minute drive, and my poor girl had to sit by herself all that time. I was angry but also concerned something had happened. When he eventually returned my calls at 10pm, the cunt had fallen asleep and therefore didnt collect her!
Now today he has text asking if he can pick her up from school. I would never stop contact, he is her dad but apparently im a bitch and allsorts of other colourful names because i cant and wont trust him to do the school run.
Once he proves he can collect her from mine consistently and on time i have no issues with him going back to the school run but the last few months he has been constantly late. I am not risking my baby being sat there again thinking she has been forgotten.
AIBU saying no school runs (obviously keeping the open door policy i have with him collecting her from home) or do i just risk him doing it again?

MsGameandWatch Thu 02-Mar-17 13:37:10

No you're not being unreasonable not one bit. He sees her as an option, not a priority i.e. He will drop her at the last minute if something else comes up.

CatThiefKeith Thu 02-Mar-17 13:37:22

YADNBU. He sounds like a dick. Can I ask why he isn't contributing financially?

IamFriedSpam Thu 02-Mar-17 13:41:43

Clearly YANBU. He sounds like a useless twat! Does your DD like her time with her dad? Does he look after her properly when she's there?

user1488460762 Thu 02-Mar-17 13:47:49

He drops her constantly, there is always some crappy excuse.
He doesn't contribute because he 'cannot afford to' and if he did he would not be able to afford his car and therefore unable to work or see DD at all, i have no issue with not getting money off him, i work hard and we enjoy nice things, my issue with that is him taking her to a filthy muddy park in new uniform, school shoes and coat and even her sodding book bag being caked in mud.
No she doesn't enjoy time with him, she says he just looks at his phone and doesnt talk to her. He just sits in mcds with her for half an hour, or maybe a pound bakery pasty on the park then brings her home.
I didn't think i was unfair, like i said i wouldnt stop contact but to leave her at school is taking the piss.

bettycat81 Thu 02-Mar-17 13:57:13

I would probably stop school pick ups!

The other thing you could try is to tell the school when her Dad is picking her up and have them call him/wake him up. They would probably do a good job at shaming him!

user1488460762 Thu 02-Mar-17 16:34:08

I think stopping them for now is my only way forward, he tends to sleep through calls. School already know what he is like from the amount of times i have informed them dad is picking her up then either me or OH have turned up.
I am far from unreasonable, if he wants to come i change plans last minute, i send him pictures and updates, i tell him any assemblies, parents evenings etc that are coming up. I just don't want my baby sat by herself.
Must add DD is also autistic and the way things are atm are playing absolute havoc with her, she hates change and disruption and this is not good for her.

ExplodedCloud Thu 02-Mar-17 17:20:15

You wouldn't be unreasonable without the autism factor. Add that in and he's really not got her interests at heart and is therefore totally the unreasonable one.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now