Does anyone remember the bride in Wales charging £££ for hotel rooms?

[cousinswedding]

I don't know of any of you will remember me. I posted months ago when my cousin was planning her wedding in a Welsh castle hundreds of miles away from where we all live. Her wedding is a three day event starting on a Thursday and she asked us to pay to stay in the rooms (£160 per night). When other pulled out she contacted us and said the rooms had gone up so were now £180 so at least £360 for accommodation but more likely three nights so £540. Just for accommodation. My mum is pressuring me to go and we have booked it and waved goodbye to the prospect of a family holiday.

Anyway- cousin and I (used to be close she's been a nightmare in all this) got together today as she wanted to come over and see my outfit for the wedding (in two weeks). She got really frosty with me as my dress is a nude colour- is this a thing?? She's asking me to change it and wear something else. The dress is new and was bought specifically for this occasion and I do have an old green one I could wear but I have worn it to another family wedding and I don't like it that much. The dress I've bought is not cream, more like a pale peach. The bride is wearing white.

I'm loathe to waste more money (can't take it back took the tags off) and resent being ordered around like this. Is nude ok for a wedding or AIBU?

[annandale]

I guess it could possibly be the bridesmaids' colour.

She is BU. Of course. And heading for a quick divorce IMO as imagine being her fiancé, must be hell on earth.

But I would still wear something else.

[WatchingFromTheWings]

Wow, she sounds mad! I'd just tell her you'll sort something and wear it anyway. Never heard of a bride dictating what guests wear before!

[Mummyme1987]

Tell her no. Nobody dictates dress colour in the real world, she's stuck in cloud cuckoo land.

[KoolKoala07]

Tell her you'll wear something else but turn up in it anyway.
She's been ridiculous. Nude is fine for a wedding. I got married last year and couldn't imagine being as demanding as she is, it adds so much unnecessary stress.

[Mummyme1987]

To be honest I would be cancelling my booking too.

[cousinswedding]

I think she came over to veto the outfit. I'm just sick of the whole thing and so close to telling her to stuff it. She has asked for money as a gift, we are already taking annual leave, traveling the best part of a day and spending the money on the rooms. Now she wants me to buy a new outfit. I really don't want to! Bridesmaids are wearing pale pink so not the same as mine albeit a bit similar but she never gave that as a reason it was more like it was too close to white.

[PageStillNotFound404]

Tell her you'll wear something else if she pays for it; if she's not prepared to do that then she'll have to suck it up.

[IvyLeagueUnderTheSea]

I remember the first thread, I've name changed since.

You can wear what you like unless it's nothing but a see through pac-a-mac.

What was the upshot with the rooms?

[peaceloveandbiscuits]

I believe there's a sickness bug going around that would make it nigh on impossible to travel such a long way.

[cousinswedding]

IvyLeague

With the rooms they crept up in price but not by too much and everyone (my mum mainly) was so intent on keeping the peace she kept telling my cousin it was all ok etc etc. We still haven't got to the bottom of whether or not she and the groom are spending some of the "profit" from the rooms on the wedding but do know it's more than the rooms would usually cost so there is a surplus- either she is making money or she is (her guests are) being monumentally ripped off.

[tillytown]

She's being ridiculous. Give her a choice, its either the peach dress or you'll just come in your underwear

[PageStillNotFound404]

X-posted. After reading your update, I'd be considering this the straw that broke the nude camel's back and I'd bin the whole thing off.

[cousinswedding]

I'm going to text her and say it's all getting out of hand and I'm wearing the outfit and can't afford to buy a new one. I'll roll her I can accessorise with a darker coloured wrap or something.

[cousinswedding]

tell not roll

Furiously typing!

[badtime]

If the invitation specified that no-one should wear pastels, then she might have a point, even if she is being a demanding arse. However, as I assume it didn't, she is just trying to bully you into doing what she says.

Do you think she is going to police what everyone wears? Why is she singling you out? Does she have form for demanding/unreasonable behaviour?

[DontTouchTheMoustache]

you lost me at £540 for accommodation.
Absolutely unbelievable. I'm honestly shocked that anyone would pay that much for accommodation at someone else's wedding!!! Good God! Can you not cancel and spend a week in lanzarote instead?

[passmethewineplease]

£360 to attend a wedding.

That's crazy.

Also wear your dress. My god what sort of dictator is she!

[PoorYorick]

Turn up in a white veil and bikini and stick some plastic beetles on the cake.

[IvyLeagueUnderTheSea]

Hold on. Are you saying that as part of the wedding party you are paying more for the rooms than you would do if you booked them privately?

[FormerlyFrikadela01]

I'd be tempted to return the dress and buy a lovely white floor length number

[cousinswedding]

badtime

I'm not sure why she's singling me out- I'm not in the bridal party but we grew up together and I think she sees me as an older sister as we used to be close so has involved me more in wedding related things than other people. She used to be reasonable but since getting engaged it's been one thing after another- all wedding related and usually in some way coming back to cost.

As well as asking for money her wedding list was to pay for parts of the wedding, eg. She asked for someone to pay for the wedding car/ the cake/ a contribution towards booze with the money to be transferred by last week so it could go towards the wedding. She never got enough for any of this though and went on the rampage and had to scale down some aspects! All a bit crazy! The dress thing today is about enough to tip me over the edge.

[IvorHughJarrs]

I would just tell her you can't afford to replace it as you are stretching yourself on the wedding itself. We have a wedding coming up shortly, there are rooms available at the hotel, which the couple have been very upfront about in saying it will help them if people do stay there so they have priced them slightly below the normal hotel rate but they have given the name of the nearby town if people want to look for cheaper elsewhere.
A wedding should just be about family and friends celebrating and being happy together. I am gobsmacked she would even ask you to change your dress

[cousinswedding]

Ivy Yes- on the castle's website there is a guide price for venue hire. It's slightly more complex as you can only hire the venue as a whole for the wedding or function and can't stay there unless the whole thing is hired by your party. So say it costs £10,000 for a wedding and there are 40 rooms she is saying rooms cost £400 (hypothetical figures) and therefore the venue is paid for by wedding guests - rather than saying "this is our venue and we have 40 rooms to offer for free/ a token amount".

[WatchingFromTheWings]

Sounds like she's upping room charges for guests to cover hers/grooms. I'd be tempted to say something like you've found it's cheaper to book through the castle than through her and do that. That's an absolutely pissy thing to do to guests, even worse that you're family.

[cousinswedding]

Figures all wrong there I should have said 40 rooms at £250 to total £10,000.