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About my DH getting a tattoo.

(65 Posts)
Crossoldwasp Tue 28-Feb-17 19:49:03

NC'ing as possibly identifying (talked about this at work today!).

For context, DHnis 54 and an accountant. No previous tattoos (ex army officer, so quite "straight laced" in many respects). I am 35 with one regrettable (in design terms) tramp stamp from years ago.

On Valentines Day DH announced he wanted to get a tattoo to mirror the wording off this picture - but with my name on top - for our upcoming ten year anniversary.

On the one hand, I'm massively flattered - I've not got the greatest of self-esteem, and obsessively often ask him if he really loves me. This would certainly be a assurance that he does!

On the other, cynic that I am, as much as I love him to bits, I would never get inked up with his name myself in return.

Even if we did turn out to be one of those lucky couples who lived happily ever after until one of dropped, there's always the off chance I might die early or something, and he would then have to live the rest of his life alone, or alternatively only date other people who happened to be called Crossoldwasp. Also, he might look a bit of a numpty on our next family holiday (my dad being most anti-tattoo) on our next family holiday.

I suggested "future proofing" by at least entitling it "To the one I love". He is adamant it is getting done, and will be dedicated to Crossoldwasp specifically when it is.

His body his choice, I know, or should I try a bit harder to put the muckers on this one...?? Genuinely torn.

Thank you all for your input on this!

PurpleDaisies Tue 28-Feb-17 19:51:24

I think it's absolutely nauseating! Sorry.

Do you genuinely like it? You say you're flattered but that's not quite the same thing.

Fighterofthenightman Tue 28-Feb-17 19:52:01

Oh God just tell him it's cringe whether he uses your name or not!

SuperBeagle Tue 28-Feb-17 19:52:02

Let him get it. It's his issue if he regrets it in the future, not yours.

oleoleoleole Tue 28-Feb-17 19:53:41

Perhaps he's doing it as a way of reassuring you, maybe work on that rather than a life changing ink!

RJnomore1 Tue 28-Feb-17 19:54:58

That's rather sweet.

I'm not going to say I'd let him as it's his body so there's no let but I wouldn't mind if he got it! Make sure he goes to a good artist though.

TheNaze73 Tue 28-Feb-17 19:55:04

YANBU, sounds horrendous

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Tue 28-Feb-17 19:55:09

oh words fail me....that's ridiculous.

why is he trying so hard to be a perfect husband? <horrible cynic>

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Tue 28-Feb-17 19:55:23

I would NOT be flattered by that in any way.... hobby, duty, job?? Really? Can he not just get your name or anniversary tattooed on his wedding finger or something? Something nice about you at least!

Crossoldwasp Tue 28-Feb-17 19:55:34

He is one for "uplifting" quotes and Facebook memes in general (suspect Facebook is the original source for this) - but this is how he feels, apparently!

I am not too fussed about the words - more the sentiment, which I don't want to shit all over.

ArchNotImpudent Tue 28-Feb-17 19:57:41

I never really understand 'name' tattoos (unless they're a memorial to a deceased loved one, which I can understand might bring comfort). It should go without saying that you love your partner, children etc. However, I say that as someone who's not keen on tattoos generally.

I think the message on the one your DH is thinking of getting is too generic, and sickly-sweet for my liking - it's like something you'd buy in a card shop.

If my DH wanted one, I wouldn't be thrilled, but wouldn't stop him (as you say, his body, his choice) - however, I'd try to steer him towards something very simple and/or individual.

PacificDogwod Tue 28-Feb-17 19:57:56

Yes, his body, his choice.

I'd hate it.
Personally, or if DH got it.
Too twee and sugary sweet and nauseating IMO.
AND I don't really like tattoos although love to see them on others, find them quite fascinating but would never have one.

Why not get it printed and framed and hung on the wall over your bed or something?

Sorry, not helpful.
The sentiment is nice and I think that is what you should focus on.
smile

PacificDogwod Tue 28-Feb-17 19:58:37

Oops, x-post with you! grin

RortyCrankle Tue 28-Feb-17 19:59:07

Sorry but that is cringe making - how about a heart with your name in it?

Crossoldwasp Tue 28-Feb-17 20:20:28

It is twee and nauseating and meme-y, if you ask me.

But it apparently sums up what he wants to tell me (he is not one to articulate himself beyond the words of others).

I either shit on this and hurt his feelings, or let it happen and feel vaguely shitty in advance of anything in the future potentially going wrong...

PurpleDaisies Tue 28-Feb-17 20:23:17

I either shit on this and hurt his feelings, or let it happen and feel vaguely shitty in advance of anything in the future potentially going wrong...

If my dh wanted to do this I'd have to tell him I didn't want him to. I'm sure he'd much prefer to know I didn't like it (I'd reassure him I appreciated what he wanted it to say to me) than let him go ahead with something that was permanently on his body.

chickensatay Tue 28-Feb-17 20:30:14

You have to tell him it's awful. It's so cringe!!

Emboo19 Tue 28-Feb-17 21:01:49

I'm a big believer that tattoos should be personal to you and an expression of yourself!
That's just horrible op. If he really wants a tattoo, encourage him to think of something personal to him or your relationship. Go to a good tattoo parlour and get them to design something.
My dad had my mums favourite flowers and the ones that made up her wedding bouquet, added to one of his sleeves with their wedding date written very small on one of the petals.

sailorcherries Tue 28-Feb-17 21:43:17

I have a number of tattoos, some with well thought out meaning and others without. I'd never get a partners name tattooed on me though, and I'd cut a limb off before allowing anyone to tattoo that on me.

topcat2014 Tue 28-Feb-17 21:46:40

Mind you, accountancy can be dull (I am one) - so anything to brighten one's life up, I suppose!

I don't mind tattoos on other people, but always think I couldn't really carry one off myself mum would never speak to me again

MikeUniformMike Tue 28-Feb-17 21:49:29

Tell him you regret your tattoo and that you know he loves you so he doesn't need to get one. suggest a nice bit of jewellery instead.

HeyRoly Tue 28-Feb-17 21:53:17

Oh wow, that is so bad on so many levels.

Does he never watch Tattoo Fixers? Tattooing your partner's name on you is the kiss of death to that relationship. Maybe if you tell him that, it'll put him off?

backtowork2015 Tue 28-Feb-17 22:02:51

It's not incredibly inspired is it and unlikely to be a work of art. Why not suggest you'd prefer to choose a lovely artistic design together so ag least you've got a nice picture to look at

CaoNiMa Tue 28-Feb-17 22:05:39

Arse-twitchingly cringe.

MiddleClassProblem Tue 28-Feb-17 22:10:15

Job and duty make it sound he has to do it rather than can't help but do it or wants to

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