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to think the nanny is crossing boundaries?

(221 Posts)
marathonman Tue 28-Feb-17 16:19:14

Which of these issues that I've had with a school wraparound plus occasional overnights nanny would bother or concern you the most? One primary school aged DC.

1. Showering/getting ready for work or nights out whilst supervising DC
2. Helping herself to food/toiletries when doing wraparound not overnights
3. Timekeeping issues - lateness arriving in mornings, not getting DC to school on time
4. Sleeping with DC in parents bed on overnight
5. Taking DC for own medical appointment rather than asking for cover
6. Asking parents to come home early on a babysitting night then going out and calling in sick then next day

I would just like reference for what other parents think would be an issue...

andontothenext Tue 28-Feb-17 16:23:03

1 kind of
3 and 6 definitely
What provisions did you make for her sleeping arrangements. If the answer is none then YABU on the that point

marathonman Tue 28-Feb-17 16:25:43

There's a spare room set up for her to sleep in which she has done on other occasions (including going for nap while supervising DC so I guess that's point 7!)

Tobuyornot99 Tue 28-Feb-17 16:26:44

That's a lot of issues. You need a new Nanny

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 28-Feb-17 16:26:54

3 and 6 would annoy me.

DreamingofItaly Tue 28-Feb-17 16:27:32

I'm not a parent (got nieces and nephews) but I think numbers 3 and 4 would bother me most. There's no excuse for tardiness, especially when it relates to getting children to school and WTH is the nanny doing a) sharing a bed with your child and b) sleeping in your bed? Let alone together?!?! Big no-no from me!

The others are a pain and I would have a word, but in truth, if any of these things happened regularly I'd be finding a new nanny.

Rozdeek Tue 28-Feb-17 16:28:25

I'd have a definite issue with 1,3 and 6

2 depends - what arrangements do you make for her food? I'd expect to feed a nanny. What sort of toiletries do you mean?

4 depends on context really. Why did she do it?

5 I'd not have an issue with.

CMamaof4 Tue 28-Feb-17 16:28:25

All of them I wouldnt employ her

F1GI Tue 28-Feb-17 16:28:58

And 1 if child is 6 or under

ShesAStar Tue 28-Feb-17 16:29:59

All of them, especially 3. 4 is very odd. Unless the DC adored him/her I'd be looking for a replacement.

WheresTheEvidence Tue 28-Feb-17 16:30:41

I am a nanny.

1 kind of. It's very rare I go immediately out after a 13 hour working day but sometimes I will get myself sorted while the kids get ready for bed. Am talking under 4s.

2 is fine
3 is a big one
4 hmm a toughie I have been known to do so in long term jobs if little one poorly or missing mum but generally I'm all for the I'll see you in 12 hours go to sleep approach
5 I work 13 hour days I very rarely need to go to the doctors I'm not going to ask parents to come home if I can take the kids. Last doctors appt was perforated eardrum
6 yes I'd have a problem with that

OneWithTheForce Tue 28-Feb-17 16:31:26

All of them, they're taking the piss and I'd give notice.

WheresTheEvidence Tue 28-Feb-17 16:31:49

4 I've done twice in 8 years nannying

DailyMailDontStealMyThread Tue 28-Feb-17 16:33:19

What is number 2 about? Just a sandwich for lunch and hand washing or more than that?

brasty Tue 28-Feb-17 16:34:47

What hours does she work and what are you paying? I ask because if you are paying minimum wage for long hours, then I suspect this would be inevitable. If you are paying a decent wage for reasonable hours, get a new nanny.

brasty Tue 28-Feb-17 16:36:03

So 5 I would expect if a nanny was working very long hours. Feeding a nanny is usual and expected.

atheistmantis Tue 28-Feb-17 16:36:22

3 and 4.
She doesn't sound like the sort of person you want as your Nanny.

BridgeRiverTower Tue 28-Feb-17 16:37:40

I agree with bratsy if you are paying a good wage then none of this is acceptable unless agreed with you or discussed with you.

NeedsAsockamnesty Tue 28-Feb-17 16:38:39

2 wouldnt bother me. Out of the rest 3 then 4 then all the rest about the same.

Either way they would be gone

ImperialBlether Tue 28-Feb-17 16:40:07

She sounds really awful. I wouldn't want her to be responsible for my child.

ChocolateButton15 Tue 28-Feb-17 16:43:03

3,4,6 are bad! 1,2 and 5 would be OK with me. I would fire her for 3 and 6 because most people would get the sack for that and children turning up for school late isn't acceptable

minipie Tue 28-Feb-17 16:43:51

1 is ok as long as it's very brief - 10 min not 40 min. I'd expect her to arrive at work already showered and dressed though.

2 might be ok, depends on exact facts

3 not ok (unless you are expecting the impossible eg she is to arrive at 7.55 and get DC dressed and out the door by 8.05)

4 only ok if DC was ill or had a nightmare

5 not a biggie but I'd want her to at least ask me whether I preferred to cover

6 not ok

7 definitely not ok!

Agree that if you are paying under market rate you can't expect as much, how much are you paying and what hours do you require?

Mrs9C Tue 28-Feb-17 16:44:56

Apart from number 2, I would have major issues with all of them!

Willow2016 Tue 28-Feb-17 16:46:18

1,3,4,6 would do it for me!

Dont know what 2 means tbh. Is it snacks/meals during the course of her shift or is she actually stealing food to take home? I would be fine with feeding her during a shift, its perfectly reasonable.

But I do think you need a new nanny. She seems to be doing her own thing when it pleases her and 6 is really chancing her arm, why agree to babysit then call for you to come home early so she could go out?

I have taken minded kids to gp appointments, no point in putting parents out of a days childcare for a 10 minute appointment and its not always possible to get one after work.

honeylulu Tue 28-Feb-17 16:46:24

6 3 and 4 in that order are unacceptable. Particularly 6 and 3 would be deal breakers if persistent.
1 and 5 are OK. Parents do that while they have children with them.
2 depends. Meals/snacks/ handwash etc during work hours, fine. Helping herself to packs of chicken breasts or unopened bottles of Molton Brown shampoo to take home, not good.

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